DIL said I’m a pathetic excuse of a mother

[LonelyMIL]

DIL called me a pathetic excuse of a mother and said I should be ashamed of myself.

Son wont talk to me in months now

AIBU thinking there’s no reason ever to be this horrible to your mother in law who is just trying to have a relationship

More context needed!

My MIL is a pathetic excuse of a mother and should be ashamed of herself. I'm absolutely valid in that opinion, the way she treats her son is disgraceful. So I reckon, especially with how little information you've provided, she's probably absolutely right.

Oh, there definitely are reasons. Depends what you did

It's always hard when someone we love breaks off contact, OP, but might there be bit more to this than what you've said so far?

Depends on what you've done. Your lack of detail possibly demonstrates that you're either not aware of how your actions impact others or you're deliberately concealing those actions in order to elicit sympathy.

Telling that you don’t have complaints about you son who hasn’t spoken to you. Just about your DIL.

So… what did you do?

Well it depends on her reasons for thinking this doesn't it?

More information is needed if you want us to give proper comments on whether she is unreasonable or not.

How is it possible to say whether she’s reasonable or unreasonable without any sort of context?

If you want us to judge, you have to tell us the whole story.

You really need to tell us more @LonelyMIL

She also said I cannot see unborn grandchild as I am not safe to be around. I have done nothing wrong and have other grandchild other son brings to me

I contacted her to reach out to build a relationship and she said she would never stop DS having a relationship with me but I am not allowed near GC. Weird because I was close to my son before they got married so she is absolutely stopping him. Daughter won’t talk to me at all either I am broken with it

Back story missing

Can’t vote till we have more context do you know what you’ve done? Recently or in son’s childhood?

my plucked out the air guess if you’re truly uncertain is that they are having marriage issues, have gone to therapy and he and they are making links with how you behaved to him in childhood and how dreadfully he is treating wife now. She wants her marriage to work so you’re a convenient scapegoat for them both?
the fact that you have worried about her being so cruel to you rather than centering your son and your relationship with him and how stressful this situation must be for him, and any grandkids now or future, is a bit telling that you may have some self centred/ main character traits. So they have have decided you’re a narcissist.

this is a total guess but does any of this strike a chord?

Well there is clearly something else going on here if two of your three children aren't speaking to you...

It depends if you are a pathetic excuse for a mother or not.

I’m sorry you’re in pain but to get a balanced opinion you do need to give an honest backstory.

Ok just seen your update. What kind of mum were you to the son? Was he always loved, nurtured, treasured and emotionally and physically kept safe by you? If not then I can see why she doesn’t want her children exposed to whatever her husband was exposed to?

Why’s your daughter not talking to you?

I haven’t done anything. I have said sorry but it isn’t good enough. I am getting confused with everything that they are saying I have done and I am not good at talking about it but have been a good mother yes I have made some mistakes but I tried my best and he hates me and is completely ignoring me

You haven’t done anything, but you said sorry? Come on, something has happened, even if you think it’s nothing.

Op, no one can help you dissect it unless you can give examples.

So you have a daughter and a son who don’t speak to you? And one son who does.

That usually means you were a bad mum, and had a favourite so one kid still sees you. And since you won’t give details, I’m inclined to believed that those 2 kids have cut you off for a reason. Leave them alone.

If you didn't do anything, what did you say sorry for?

Our relationship has been rocky for years but she never bothered wirh Ds before all of this and now she is just involved in the drama and has taken his side with it all. Hasn’t spoken to me once to listen to my side and is ignoring all of my calls and messages. They have just decided I’m some sort of monster

yes to the person who asked I was a good mum and gave him a good childhood and sacrificed everything we were close and he lived with me before he met his wife