AIBU to ask my partner to move out over benefits?

[TWD123]

I have been with my partner for around 2 years. I have health issues which I have been quite unwell with since January. Around 2-3 weeks ago, my partner unofficially moved in here to help me out, I say unofficially because she doesn’t contribute to the bills at the moment because that would mean her legally living here in the eyes of UC. It was a 2-3 week trial run until I was back on my feet a bit more to decide what to do next.

We have started going through benefit calculations to see how it would all work with her officially moving in. Now, I was always under the impression that she doesn’t earn very much, living on the breadline - because that’s what she has always told me - now it transpires that she earns a lot more than she said and also has quite a bit in savings.

This means that I would be losing around £1000 a month, having to pay for school meals/prescriptions/dental care/etc whilst she would be around £1000 better off because my house bills aren’t as much as hers.

She is going to have to move straight back out isn’t she?

I hate to make it all about money but my income resources are pretty limited due to being too unwell to work and I have children - one that is autistic - to provide for…

What? The partner will stay pay her tax, but the state won't be giving £1000 to someone who could be supported by a working person.

He or she has totted up all the stuff they will have to pay for that is currently covered by UC. Like prescriptions.

I think they should have done that sooner. Asking someone to move in on a trial basis and then kicking them out when they found out how much money they would lose. I would be very surprised if the relationship will survive this

Indeed. Or maybe their view of what is even their money in the first place is... interesting.

Nope, they said they’ll lose £1000 in income, and then have to pay on top for school meals and prescriptions etc. So the £1000 loss is actual money, then they’ll also lose the additional free stuff like £3000 in dentistry, expensive glasses twice a year, lots of prescriptions…

My friend is in the same boat. Her and her DP have been together 6 years or more and still live apart because of this reason! She would loose too much in benefits and as a couple they’d both be worse off.. so they live separately - him being there for dinner etc but going home to sleep basically

If you live purely off benefits - it is the tax payer who is providing for your children, not you.

I think YABU by trying to manipulate this to try to maximise on what benefits you can get.

Of course your earning partner who is living there should be contributing to your household costs - including school meals and prescriptions etc - you should be declaring yourself as a couple in your UC claim and not claiming more benefits than you need with the household income you now share.

There are other households out there with single people, who are more in need than you.

What did she say about her finances when it became obvious that she has more money than she had been letting on? I would be concerned that she hasn't been honest with you about money which suggests she might not want to use her money for you and your kids. If she's not going to split finances with you to make up for the benefits you will lose then you would be disadvantaged if she moves in and it wouldn't be a good move for you.

This is what's wrong with the world these days. You won't live your life how you want to coz you won't get as much in benefits. ie have other pay for you. There's couples who work full time that probably don't earn as much as you get in benefits & they make it work. If you lose £1000 because she moves in then work around it & live within your means. She's on a good wage by the sounds of it & will be saving if she moves in with you so there's your answer. Have her move in if that's what you both really want & live off what she earns & your benefits like everyone else has to do.