Why is it a problem if the sister doesn’t want to give up her time to look after children that she didn’t choose to have?
My sister constantly expected help from me and our parents and felt she was entitled to my time because I didn’t have children so I was expected to help bring hers up.
I didn’t want children and enjoyed taking my niece and nephew out and spending time with them but was faced with this attitude from lots of people that I owed my sister childcare on tap because she was struggling with choices she made.
My sister would cry and lay on guilt trips when we said no and would say she couldn’t cope. My mum and dad had her kids whilst she was at work and on weekends so she “could have a break”.
I worked 55 hours a week but was constantly told that I didn’t know what real tiredness felt like and it was implied that my life was so easy because I didn’t have kids.
I ended up resenting the expectations and my sister was having nights out on weekends when I was working and my parents had her children.
I didn’t enjoy having my niece and nephew because I wasn’t a fun auntie but expected to be another parent and that was something that I had no desire to be.
When both my parents died they both told me separately that they wish they had done more with their lives as they got older and they felt like they had spent their whole lives raising children.
Also both my parents were fit and active and in great health - until they weren’t.
Both died before they reached 60 and my mum was still providing childcare when she was slowly dying from cancer.
Having children is a choice and it’s great if people offer help but it shouldn’t be depended on and you can’t resent it when other people don’t want to sacrifice their lives for a decision they weren’t involved in making.