AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

[Finchell]

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

I don’t live in a particularly affluent area. I mix with a range of people from different backgrounds.

Are you talking different backgrounds culturally? If everyone you know has been gifted sizeable financial help from family, then ‘different backgrounds’ probably doesn’t mean mixing with poor people.

I’d be interested to know what your definition of ‘privileged’ is.

It's very privileged. You are lucky.

@BendingSpoons do you mean renting in a studio? I honestly thought that sort of thing only happened abroad. I’m quite shocked by that

Yes, that's my suspicion.

I think it is privileged
Your friends are also privileged
Its average within your social circle which is not necessarily representative of the population as a whole.

@HornyHornersPinkyWinky a trust fund? Mortgage paid off? They would be the two key ones

You really do live in a bubble OP.

Now I know you’re taking the piss because no one is this stupid.

OP, I live in a disadvantaged ex-mining town in Barnsley. Me & my husband were given a deposit for our house, and my parents paid off our mortgage around 4 years ago when I was 38. They chose to give us our ‘inheritance’ early so they could see us enjoy it.

Everything else in our lives we work for and pay, but due to the above this has meant we have a far easier life than others.

We are MASSIVELY privileged.

I do not know a single other person that has been as lucky as we have been. In fact, many of the older generations of our community are still riddled with some of the after effects of the colliery’s closing despite it being 40 years ago. They have nothing to ‘gift’ their children.

You are incredibly privileged and the worst thing is you can’t even see it.

have you heard of the cost of living crisis?

You really can't be that obtuse...

They do without stuff so they can save up and they try and find a house within their price range which will probably be small and in an inexpensive, so probably not that nice, area.

I honestly don’t know what world you are living in.

We saved and worked hard, made cuts and forfeited holidays to gather the deposit for our house. Out of my friends only one had help with a house deposit and it came in the form of inheritance when her DMum passed away too young. She would much rather still have her mum than have the deposit money she got from her inheritance.

most people I know (including us) have cars on finance and don’t get 2-3k gifted to them each year

our kids don’t have houses in trust for them

I think you live an extremely privileged life

I think RazzleDazz1e hit the nail on the head. Depends on your circle.

my background very working class. Parents pushed us all hard academically (state school). They did well later in life. I went to uni and now work in he city. I can imagine if I’d reached my job via private school/uni etc that I’d not see how privileged I am both in terms of how parents have helped me and my salary because of the people I work with - I’m aware I’m in a bubble.

@BengalBangle seriously is there a need to be so aggressive?! Given there’s Council
housing why would I think four people would be in a studio?!

And while the statistic about 50% of ftb get help from their parents, maybe that’s true. But I suspect not 50k of help.

a friend recently was a ftb and found a house but was 1k short for the deposit. Her parents gave her that. Which I’d guess is more normal than 50k.

Yes, you are privileged, financially speaking. You've led a very sheltered life if you think what you've been given is average.
Most people have to save their own house deposit - if they can, and think themselves lucky if they are able to do so.

I don't intend to be nasty, but those experiences are not normal in terms of the people I know. I think you are privileged and your friends are too. It's a reality that some people are more comfortably off than others.

This ⬆️.
They don't have holidays, pets, beauty treatments, meals out etc etc.

OP are you actually genuine?

I find it shocking and appalling that anyone could be so willfully naive as to the levels of poverty that exist in this country. Do you watch the news, read a newspaper? I’m asking that genuinely. You REALLY need to start, preferably before the next time you participate in voting for any level of politician.

Magically have a house deposit? We saved for our own. We had no family help to buy a house and we certainly don’t get gifted £2k a year. You are very privileged and it’s not the norm.

Why do you think they are in a studio at all? 4 people in one room are probably 8n temporary accommodation - a room in a run down B&B because otherwise they would be homeless.

An annual household income of about 55k and no help at all to buy a house.

OP, it's not your fault that you live in a bubble, but widening your social circle, or getting involved in community life, would open your eyes.

Are you bored and trying to get attention?

Do you think council housing is readily available or do you think maybe there’s a waiting list of many many years?

@TellMeWhatToWear but what about council housing? I thought the whole point of that is you get a bigger council house the bigger your family? So why are some people forced into a studio?