AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

[Finchell]

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

You are hugely privileged and quite surprisingly naive.

Although the UK does appear to have a high rate of home ownership, with about 67% of households owning their own home, this has dropped from 73% twenty years ago and includes a huge number of older people who bought their homes decades ago when it was significantly more affordable to do so. In today’s economy the majority of renters struggle to save a 5% deposit, and the average home is worth 7 or 8 times the average annual salary.

And no, most people aren’t getting £50k from their parents to find their deposit. Most parents who help out their kids give between £1000 and £5000 (https://www.dwh.co.uk/advice-and-inspiration/the-bank-of-mum-and-dad---what-to-consider-before-cashing-out-to-the-kids/) so you’re at least 10x more privileged than the average recipient of a parental gift - not to mention those who get no help at all.

This report will show you how very unusual and privileged it is for you to receive £2-3k per year in gifts: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/personalandhouseholdfinances/incomeandwealth/articles/intergenerationaltransfersthedistributionofinheritancesgiftsandloans/2018-10-30) You’ll see that you receive more than the average for even the wealthiest group considered in these statistics.

And no, obviously most people are not in receipt of a house (even a small one) from their grandparents as your daughter is.

Your salary puts you in the top 10% of earners, but is quite low for someone who has had the advantages you have had, unless perhaps you live in a very low cost of living area. But still, you make a lot more money than most people.

I strongly recommend you stop considering yourself under privileged because you’re not given a ski holiday each year and start considering yourself unbelievably privileged compared to those reliant on foodbanks or who have to choose between cooking hot food and turning the radiators on. 21% of the UK population lives in relative poverty. That’s 14 million people. Time to cop on, OP.

Neither have I (that's life in the arts for you). Nevertheless, it's the average. My least favourite thing about mumsnet is all the people describing themselves as "mid earners" on 60k and suchlike drivel.

I think people are being ridiculous. She never said she was in poverty or on the breadline. She’s not comparing to people in poverty. She just said she was average not privileged. She only makes 70 k plus 2 k a year gifts and a small contribution to house deposit. (The only thing that is privileged is the DD house.) Tbh the rest is not life changing she still has a life time of work to do . She’s not exactly part of the 1%.

But she's not average as she claimed to be. She is privileged.

Don't be obtuse.

Her earnings put her just outside the top 10% (2025 figures from the Office of National Statistics). Even before the massive amount of money she received as a deposit for her own house, and then the property for her child.

Those are all facts, not opinions.

The OP asked if she was average or privileged. So people are answering that.
It's not difficult to look up what the 'average' salary is if you don't believe what so many posters have written on this thread (as indeed could the OP have don't, save embarrassing herself.

No but your post is completely tone deaf. If it’s serious.

This is a good way of looking at things.

My DD came home from uni with a badly swollen and painful knee. We've had an ultrasound done, booked physio and an MRI.

All before the GP appointment, still a week away.

Really brought home how privileged I am to be able to pay for these things.

The world isn't divided into the 1% and people who are average. OP is well above average in every single measure she has shared. She's in the top 10% of UK earners, she was given more than 10x the average contribution to a house deposit (and that's only considering people who received any help at all, not those who didn't get a parental contribution), and she's given several times more than the average financial gift a year. Saying that this is average is like saying the sky is green; verifiably factually untrue.

I agree.

I'd like to add I don't do most of the things on @MicDoyle's list and never have but I have a paid off mortgage and a teacher's pension so I regard myself as privileged in comparison to many people but not as privileged as the OP. Im my career as a teacher and in my volunteering at a Foodbank I met/meet people who are much worse off than me with no prospect of buying a house however hard they work. It's not even on their agenda.

You are very privileged. I would be so grateful if my parents gave me any help but they were not in a position but I am very grateful I am mortgage free at a relatively young age from working hard and saving hard.