AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

[Finchell]

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

You may be average amongst your friends, but you are privileged by any other measure yes.

Also, I don’t think you have a good perspective of what ‘different walks of life’ means. It is not two similarly rich people who just don’t happen to know each other 😂

We fucking save. We work hard.

About 65% of households are owned by the occupiers. Thats a high rate, but that 35% still exist as people.

I genuinely have had-

£0 towards house deposit
£0 gifts yearly
0 houses for my children

Earn a tad above minimum wage.

I consider us very average. You are extremely privileged.

What IS average then????

So I had £0 towards a house deposit and I’ve been gofted £0 by family in my lifetime.

My best friends parents gave her £300k though so it just varies doesn’t it.

House deposit. I think my parents bought me a housewarming present, the value of which almost certainly wasn’t more than £200 tops. No financial contribution and I don’t know anyone who has.

Gifted maybe £100 each for Christmas and Birthdays. I don’t know anyone who gets anything significantly more than that.

DC haven’t moved out yet, but I’m not expecting any king of financial contribution from grandparents. They did buy a couple of Costa gift cards for DC1 whilst at uni. I don’t know anyone’s grandchild who has been given a chunk of money or a house.

Earnings - Band 3 NHS £25k ish a year. It’s definitely not a lot.

So, yes you are very, very privileged. But I think you already know that.

No. I think I’m average - never been given more than normal presents of less than £100 value since graduating and neither has DH. Except our wedding when we got a £2k contribution from our parents. On the other hand both sets of parents are solvent and have savings and should be able to pay their own costs for life. So we’re not hard done by or worried about them but we’re also not getting hand outs. We are adults and support ourselves.

And no, nobody has given my child a house in trust. If I was as privileged as you I would be on cloud 9.

so what is average then? Is average being a home owner? What?

If that's the case , I would imagine that you don't actually know many people full stop.

Half of first time buyers get help from parents with gifts so it's really not that unusual statically. Just depends if you're from a community where ageing parents have been fortunate enough to acquire or keep wealth.

house in trust from a grandparent is unusual amongst the general population.

71k is around double the average salary.

This info all all easily available online so why the post OP? It's not something to seek opinions on, they're just facts you could have gathered easily yourself.

For transparency, I’ve had slightly lower but comparable levels of help. 90% of the people I know are middle class, university educated and earn above average. Not because I vet my friends, but because that’s how the social classes in the UK work. I’m not privileged compared to my peers. But I am privileged set against the country as a whole. And vastly more so set against the world as a whole.

Fucking hell. What's your next problem? Can't find a pair of diamond shoes that fit?

My total sum of help from relatives was £200 from my parents when we got married. Stop being such a scrounger.

Ha ha

Your income is fairly average probably on the lower end considering your upbringing, assuming “good education and opportunities” means private school / low if any uni debt / parents connections got you a graduate job? I didn’t have any of that and I’m just below your salary (mid 20s) you are hugely privileged that you got such a big helping hand towards a house deposit and 2/3k a year on Christmas and birthdays. I might get £100! Either way, you know you’re more fortunate than most so I don’t quite understand your need for validation on the internet.

@Evaka it was a comment made to me this afternoon that I found upsetting

The "bubble" is because you clearly have no idea how the vast majority of people live in this country. You are extremely privileged. I'm sure you probably already know that.

why Don’t you use mr google.

for context I’ve not been gifted anything for house deposit and I earn just under £40K

I have friends living in council houses with no magical £50 fucking deposit

I thought to was lucky to get 10k at 18.
Apart from a loan of 3k towards our hoise deposit... thats been it really.

My DD works as a nurse and has been renting since she qualified. She's now early 30s. She has saved around £30k as a house deposit by putting £300 - £400 aside every month into savings ever since she was working. She will be looking at trying to buy a house around the £120k mark. We live in the North of England.

To us, and the people I know, this is average. This is how people afford a house. I have just paid my own mortgage off after 25 years (I'm 60). I've recently had to retire on ill health grounds and am living on a very small pension that I've paid into all my days. (Around £1k a month). I could not afford to 'gift' my children money for 'ski-ing holidays' or for a house deposit. I have minimal savings.

HTH

I work for the NHS in a job similar to a physiotherapist. We have many families who are in overcrowded housing (sometimes a family of 4 in 1 room), are using food banks, can't afford the bus fare. Honestly there are many, many people living in this way.

Around 25% of kids nationally qualify for Pupil Premium, which is based on (low) income.

Wow. You’re super privileged. I wasn’t given money for a house deposit. Wasn’t given a penny by my parents after I finished university. My dc don’t have houses given to them. I don’t know anyone who has. And I would say I’m financially better off than most people (due to mine and dh’s earnings). Think you live in a bubble.

No deposit for a house. No money each year. No house gifted to any of the children. Earn half what you do. I think I am probably closer to the average than you.

It’s mad that people who have been gifted over £50/60k by family and whose children have houses in turst from grandparents, are walking around thinking everyone has that. Fucking ridiculous.