My daughter is exceptional and she is the best

[fluffycushion9]

How do you deal with a friend who always behaves in this way and never stops talking about her DD and never about herself?

I distanced from her for a year as it was driving me insane. Saw her briefly the other day and she hadn’t changed one bit. I made it clear that I’d rather hear about herself (implied not so much her 18 yo prodigy child, who isn’t really that exceptional but she’s always been her obsession. Guess unresolved childhood and all). She wasn’t impressed and I haven’t heard from her since, which is fine.

Those that have a friend like this - how do you steer away from the same, repetitive topic? I’ve tried doing this but she brings it back again saying “oh I just want to finish off what I wanted to say” and starts another burst of monologue…

I distanced myself from a ‘friend’ like this. I came to realise that actually I didn’t enjoy spending time in her company and it was really tedious to hear about her perfect son (who actually isn’t) all the time. I don’t miss her at all.

I feel bad for her daughter. Probably a lot of pressure.

Voted YABU as the friendship is over so it’s unreasonable to continue dwelling on it. Maybe she has friends who don’t mind being bored off their tits - luckily for you, you’re not one of them!

I would just drop her, she won’t change. I dated someone who was similar and I brought it up and got accused of all sorts of things, I ditched him and I no longer have to hear about his amazing child. I do think it’s some kind of obsession or maybe the fact they have nothing better to talk about?

I have 2 dc but I don’t feel the need to talk about them constantly, when I am out with friends I barely mention them at all.

We have had to deal with this. One family members child is the "golden child". The brags are unreal and come across obsessive.

Its really not healthy at all for anyone least of all the child themselves. I thought it was me just me noticing until other people started commenting on it ( including non family members).

You cant deal with it. When people are obsessed like that they cannot see how unhealthy or abnormal there behaviour is. Just distance yourself as much as possible, step back, dont engage, if you run into them change the subject when they go off on one about how perfect x is. Make your excuses and go. Nobody wants to hang around someone who constantly brags about there average child as if they were the next messiah.

Ug! I used to work with a woman like this, everything she owned or did was the worlds best car, I’ve made the worlds best skirt, my child, the best feeding baby in the world, I’m going to see the worlds best mummy this weekend … gos she was a bore! I left that job and deleted her from SM

Most people do but I am guessing none of your friends are obsessed with there kids and never stop bragging about them.

Whilst no parent should be so thick as to keep badgering on about their DD or DS.
Whats wrong with being proud of your child?

I have to admit, i have been this parent, father died when she v young (thats my excuse) and i do now realise i went on a bit about her sporting success as a school child (sorry to mention it but she was a British Champion)

Shoot me!

I know someone like this, she's in her 60's now and her daughter's are 3 very unexceptional adults in their mid 30's-mid 40's and she's still at it. When my eldest got a good parents evening report she jumped in to tell about the time a teacher had (allegedly, I can't picture it) said she 'couldn't wait to meet the parents who produced such an incredible child', her daughter was 42 at this point but she was still trying to pit her against a bloody 8 year old.

Nothing wrong. This isnt about them.
We are talking about people who can't talk about anything other than their children. 5 or 10 min talking about your child: fine. Two hours: rude and narcissistic.

Nothing wrong with being proud. Who said that? It’s disingenuous to think that’s what this thread is about.

Going on about your child’s successes, not talking about anything else, not showing interest in other people’s children or even your own other children, is just tedious to be around, and quite rude.

I have a friend whose child is genuinely successful. In more than one area of life. But both the adult child and his mum are humble and never talk about it. So we all ask and celebrate him because there is success without bragging there. And the friend in turn is so interested in everyone else’s kids and celebrates them too.

It’s fine to be proud of your kids, it’s fine to mention their achievements but it’s not fine to talk about nothing else and to go on and on about how amazing they are. I wouldn’t want my parents talking to their friends non stop about me and how amazing I am (even if I am amazing 😜). It’s fine to have a life other than being a parent, it’s fine to have hobbies, dreams and friends to talk about instead?

We are all proud of our kids.

If she is literally writing 3000 word essays about her daughter, that is really strange behaviour (and would be odd regardless of topic). Does she have a blog, or does she send you these essays as pdfs? Or print them out and give them to you as pre-reading for your next catch up?

If that is accurate, it sounds like this might go a bit beyond “proud mum” and veer into “not well” territory. Has she always been like this?

I used to know someone like this. She referred to her daughters as 'my brilliant girls'. They both went to Oxford and then did further degrees as 'my daughters have to have Masters degrees'.

She was furious with the world when her daughters couldn't get jobs they wanted, or as she thought, deserved. One wanted to work in a musuem, can't remember what the other one wanted to do.

This woman was a pain about other things too, when asked where she was going on holiday she said 'we're just nipping over to LA for 3 weeks'.

Very tedious.

She doesn’t have a job but she has lots of time in her hands

I think there's your answer OP: she doesn't have a life to speak of, and lives through her golden child instead. It's hard to be friends with someone who has ceased to exist!

So then you talk about what you think about things and what’s happening in the world and about where you have been or you might like to go.There’s plenty of topics of conversation that aren’t drama about a lazy husband.

I remember when I went to university one of my flatmates saying that she hadn’t realised that people had conversations about things that weren’t just about what has happening to them.

I have met far too many people like this over the years and it seems to rarely end well.

When my brother was at school, his best friend was the cleverest in the class. Now this was true: he was incredibly naturally bright and got into a super selective grammar school with no tutoring. But OMG the mum just never shut up and constantly compared him to my bro. It drove my poor exhausted single mum insane. The boy in question is now a constant weed smoker and for a while lived under the A30 with Swampy (actually I think this is quite impressive) but he’s not found the cure for cancer like his mum kept saying he would.

Another parent in my DC’s primary school used to post pictures of his school reports on fb. Again, bright boy, really sweet but COME ON! This really is mad behaviour.

That said, I have a very very dear friend who apart from her husband and son, has no family. She also had a fairly challenging upbringing. She’s done really well for herself and they’ve managed to send their son to private schools, music lessons, sports coaching etc etc. Again, he’s adorable but OMG she goes on and on about him. I kind of let her because she doesn’t really have anyone else but it has pissed off some of my friends when they’ve met her as they don’t know the context and she’s FULL ON. I’m v lucky, my DC have 5 grand parents and loads of fond aunties so I can tell them all about their achievements but she doesn’t have that so I feel a bit sorry for her.

I've known two mums just like this-both have boys

One had the best ballroom dancer,best at school and the bestest kid on the planet

He was super intelligent,the best behaved,super funny,his teachers adored him and he was the most talented child they'd ever seen

He really wasnt-he was just a normal kid who didnt even want ballroom dancing lessons-he hated going and gave it up as soon as he could

I lost touch deliberately as I was sick of her bragging and hes now an adult who's very low contact with her

The other

She was worse

Her parenting was perfect,her child was perfect(and never to blame for anything),he was going to rule the world,marry royalty (or someone 'high up' in life-a 'pleb' wouldnt be allowed),he was going to have a top career and her future grandchildren would take after their father

His teachers had never met anyone as super talented/funny/special and our average kids would never come close to his talents

He was someone from the moment he was born and she was going to make sure it happened

His mother dumped me as a friend as I refused to go along with this-all kids are special and telling mine 'you won't get as far in life as ds,hes far better than you' will end up with me having words

Very sadly,he killed himself 4 weeks ago due to ongoing mental health issues (he'd been suffering all the way through his teenage years)

I heart goes out to his family-nobody deserves to lose a child

Edited for typo-i wrote and instead of an

Actually I would be very interested in hearing about living under the A30 with Swampy! 😀

Read what i wrote perhaps? not doing so is really disingenuous.

I said i was like this, constantly banging on about my child, i learnt not to do so.

Your dd has achieved a phenomenal level of success so your entitled to share it.

Congratulations to your dd and to you. Sport champions are often supported by dedicated parents who give up many evenings and weekends to help them achieve this dream. My friends dd is a very accomplished and beautiful young dancer. She wins many competitions all over the country but I have seen how exhausting it is for her parents. They do it because she loves it.

I remember 4 year old DS telling me how a certain girl told him she was the brightest in his class. Turned out the mother had told her that.
when I met the mother, she was pushy and arrogant herself and I felt sorry for the daughter.

Saying ‘what’s wrong with being proud of your child’ is disingenuous. Nobody said there was anything wrong with that.

I’ve got a relation like this. It was from
the minute our children were born, more or less until the age of 7/8. When it became clear their child struggled and could be quite rude, she changed it to comparing how my child is nicer than her child 🤔