I’ve been called a golddigger, haven’t I?

[LouLee63]

I’ve been with my husband for 25 years, married for 20. Really happy together, have a good relationship. We have a really “equal” marriage. We both work full time, contribute everything into one pot, financially comfortable with investments, pensions- all that good stuff.

He lost his last remaining parent a little while ago and, subsequently received a generous inheritance (high six-figures after taxes). As an only child, he was the sole beneficiary.

I met an old friend for dinner last night and she asked after my husband. I said he was well, coming to terms with his bereavement. She asked if probate was sorted and I said yes, without going into detail.

She then said I had “made a very shrewd move”. I asked what she meant and she said I was very smart to “make sure (I) married an only child who’d inherit well”. I pointed out that my husband and I met when we were in our teens and it wasn’t a conscious choice. I married him because I love him. She sneered and said “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that”.

I cut the evening short after that.

AIBU to be annoyed that she basically call me a golddigger, and reconsider our friendship?

Well, sounds like she has shown her true colours and her comments say a lot about how her mind works!

Oh, that's a nasty thing to say. I know you've been friends a long time but I'm not sure I'd want to be around her again.

Rotter she is.. you are well rid ♥️

That’s a pretty weird thing, and mean, of your ‘friend’ to say to you.
I’d be re-evaluating the friendship for sure.

Definitely the green eyed monster rearing its ugly head,cut ties with her you dont need that in your life.

Green eyed monster rearing its ugly head here i think. Id distance myself from her if i was you if she was any kind of friend she would be happy for you not making snide digs you are not a gold digger at all she is however a jealous bitch and not worth anymore of your time!

Dump the supposed friend

It sounds like she may have meant it as a joke, not realising that you were close to your in-laws, but it was in very bad taste at the very least.

Christ. This is a non issue. Just roll around in your money and don’t worry it.

Greetings Sincere Soul
Most surely you're not being unreasonable to be hurt by this friend ~ Of course you've every right to feel offended /upset that she's implied so little of you, especially when friends should know you more
I'd say something along the lines of "We mustn't judge or compare others by our own standards!"
Letting her know that just because, being a gold digger is something, she herself might be guilty of, it doesn't mean you are this way inclined too
💚
God Bless You
What a cheek she's got...
Wishing You&Yours all the utmost best

The comments say a great about your so called friend's lack of empathy and social nouse. Time to wave goodbye.

Dear XXXX
I was deeply upset by your comments last evening implying I am a gold-digger. As well as being with my DH for 25 years, I was also close to his parents and upset by their death. I am surprised and disappointed to learn that you think so little of me. I think it best that we take a good long break from each other. Your words have really hurt and I don't want to see you again.

Wow…someone was jealous. Ignore and cut her from your life.

@LouLee63 that's no friend, that's a nasty jealous bitch. Block her, you don't need that kind of attitude.

I have had similar comments but from my own family.

I met my husband when I was a single parent, my husband had no children. We had a child and got married.

My husband has always worked and I go a job too.
My in-laws were well off (millionaires) but I did not know this for several years. We have been together for almost 30 years now and my family still make comments.

What nonsense. Anyone would be upset to think a friend of 40 years actually thought their whole marriage had been purely for financial gain!

I wouldn’t give up a 40 year friendship over this but I would let her know that I was upset by her comments as presumably you were fond of your in laws too plus you are supporting your dh through a life changing loss. She’s blatantly jealous.

Does she honestly think that when you met him, in your teens, and married him in your early 20s, that you were playing a long game and thinking about the potential inheritance?? Seriously???

Wow, she’s ridiculous. Ditch this friendship.

My SIL is like this. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

She is jealous.. I'd of said how dare you imply that as if tjat was on your mind 25 years ago... silly bitch I'd end the friendship .

"She then said I had “made a very shrewd move”. I asked what she meant and she said I was very smart to “make sure (I) married an only child who’d inherit well”. I pointed out that my husband and I met when we were in our teens and it wasn’t a conscious choice. I married him because I love him. She sneered and said “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that”."

I came across a phrase recently - 'Every accusation is an admission.' In plain English, she thinks you would behave like that, because she would. It's a little insight into how she views the world.

You and she go all the way back to nursery, so you've effectively known her all your lives. Has something happened to her, perhaps in the last 5 - 10 years, say, that could be at the bottom of her comments?

Good grief, jealous much?

Ignore people who are this bitter. Their words tell you more about them than anything else.

@LouLee63 she is being rediculous. To think at 18, that was even on yiur mind. Inheritance is not guaranteed. Parents can loose all their money, they may need to sell up and spend it all on care costs. A relation of mine sold up when they retired moved to a different place rented and lived their retiremrnt with the money from their house, no house to leave to their children. Your husband may have been a wife beater and you got divorced. He may have died before his parents so no inheritance. There are so msny variables in this situation. What a horrible thing to say to a friend.

Jealousy is an ugly trait. So is she saying as a man who stands to inherite no one can possibly just love him for who he is. Ignore her

I have to applaud your patience as a gold digger, OP, that was some long game you played! Seriously, your friend is a very unpleasant person and it gives an insight into the way her mind works. To say something like that, even if she genuinely meant it as a joke, while a family is grieving, is appalling.