I’ve been called a golddigger, haven’t I?

[LouLee63]

I’ve been with my husband for 25 years, married for 20. Really happy together, have a good relationship. We have a really “equal” marriage. We both work full time, contribute everything into one pot, financially comfortable with investments, pensions- all that good stuff.

He lost his last remaining parent a little while ago and, subsequently received a generous inheritance (high six-figures after taxes). As an only child, he was the sole beneficiary.

I met an old friend for dinner last night and she asked after my husband. I said he was well, coming to terms with his bereavement. She asked if probate was sorted and I said yes, without going into detail.

She then said I had “made a very shrewd move”. I asked what she meant and she said I was very smart to “make sure (I) married an only child who’d inherit well”. I pointed out that my husband and I met when we were in our teens and it wasn’t a conscious choice. I married him because I love him. She sneered and said “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that”.

I cut the evening short after that.

AIBU to be annoyed that she basically call me a golddigger, and reconsider our friendship?

going against the grain here but if she’s been a friend that long without much history of offending you then I think it’s more likely that it was a joke that landed badly. Seems pretty unlikely that she actually thinks you did this deliberately.

Did you snap your pearls when you typed that 🤣

It was clearly a joke!

Exactly. It's so weird to me. Never seen it happen on real life.

People on here never think that it could be a joke when the opportunity to call a woman they have never met a bitch or a cunt comes up. Sort of the like the two minute hate in 1984

Because a) the friend is either joking and the o.p is not good enough friends to realise it or has suddenly turned into an evil person over night

B) the o.p describes her friend like a Disney villan and has been holding onto bitterness over a remark 20 years ago

It's hardly Thelma and Louise from this telling

That’s a bizarre comment. Some people are really strange over money though. A friend recently lost both parents in quick succession and inherited a lot of money and a mutual friend of ours described him as ‘ a lucky bastard’ - yeah, both beloved parents gone. So lucky!

She’s not your friend. Definitely end that!

Yes but by asking on here she can get the joy of seeing countless women call her friend of 40 years a bitch....

Several of my friends have lost both their parents and had to pay for their care and then their funerals.

I wouldn’t count anyone grieving for the death of a loved one as lucky, regardless of how much money they did or didn’t have.

I wouldn't either, and my parents are wealthy and I don't ever want them to die /don't plan on an inheritance -i've been lucky enough to have good health and a good education and have built up my own financial cushion

But I can see why there is a sense of relativity about this for many. Many people have to work for every single penny they will ever have. Many people can't imagine ever being able to retire, or relax from worrying about money.

How awful! She’s jealous and spiteful and not your friend!!

The reality is that when you met your husband you were not thinking he is an only child and his parents have some money. You been married to him for 25 years and probably knew him a few years before this. I know several wealthy parents and they watch who there sons and daughters get involved with. They want people who are educated, have jobs and are good to there sons or daughters.

She knows that your husband parent or parents died and he will receive money because of this. Meanwhile she could be stuck in a job she hates but needs the money. Along with this she may have kids at the expensive teenaged or university stage. Her parents may not have much to leave her. She sees your husband and you getting this money and she is jealous of this. Some people can be very bitter over money and hate to to see other people doing well or having money.

I know several couples like you and your husband who have worked hard to build up there careers and wealth. After the death of their parents they were lucky to be left money and this money helped them and their families. They kept quiet about any money they got.

My first reaction was that it was a joke too, so it's not only you!

I kind of assumed that the OP and others must have a reason for thinking it's NOT a joke. Because otherwise that's the obvious thing to assume.

I know it's perhaps slightly bad taste, but a fairly standard thing to joke about with close friends, I would think?

That's why I was interested to know whether OP has heard more from her friend since she stormed out of the meal.

Because if that was me, and my friend had just walked off, I think I would message and say, hang on, I was joking, clearly you must know that....

All very odd.

It’s not typical. That was just silly toxic-positivity nonsense being spouted by a random poster. You’ve every right to feel annoyed and upset, your friend was being bitchy.

She's very clearly a bitch - who the f... are the 3% who think otherwise - her friends?

Jealously the old green eyes monster… that’s not a friend….

I think id speak with her. Unfortunately people can be blinded by money. My mum died when I was 6. My dad put money in a trust find for us and i have been told by various people how lucky I am. Im not sure how losing a parent as a child is lucky but they just see the money and not why I got it

Block and move on. She’s not your friend.

I think id speak with her. Unfortunately people can be blinded by money. My mum died when I was 6. My dad put money in a trust find for us and i have been told by various people how lucky I am. Im not sure how losing a parent as a child is lucky but they just see the money and not why I got it

Firstly I hope you and your husband are ok following the bereavement.

This is a stupid and bitter thing to say. You’ve been together such a long time it clearly hasn’t been a factor and this is pure jealousy.

End the friendship, she will be on asking for a loan soon!

She sounds like she has a issue and maybe regrets on choices she has made xx

What a nasty (jealous) person.

I find that someone who thinks that is being offensive, doubly when it’s your friend.

i know a few people that are only children and some that are not, I’ve never considered their possible inheritance pots. Actually many people with siblings have wealthy parents and only children have not to wealthy, does not always marry up.