To feel a bit like I’ve ‘lost’ a year with DD?

[scissorsinthekitchen]

I know it’s a bit silly but DD turns 3 this summer, and she’ll be starting school in September 2027.

I feel a bit bereft at the thought. Four is such a lovely age and I feel it’s going to be swallowed up a bit in reception.

I know deferral is a possibility but it isn’t without consequences further down the line and if I’m honest it’s for my benefit not hers. Unless there are clear reasons not to I guess I think she’s better in her school year, but the children I know her age all seem to be autumn / winter babies and so have that extra 9-12 months before starting school.

I know someone who sent their summer child for half days for the first year and the school didn't mind. You could discuss that with her intended school.

I’m feeling the same about my girl. She’s turning 4 this month, starting reception in Sep 😢 she’s totally ready but bloody hell sending a 4 year old to a full time job - 7h per day, 5 days a week. No wonder British children are amongst unhappiest. My older child although academically very ready, emotionally he wasn’t and he hated being away from me this long.
I could understand starting reception in the year they turn 5, like next April she’ll be 5 so would go to reception that year but no, she’s starting when she nearly 4.5 - crazy!

School isn’t a full time job, it’s not 9-5. In fact lots of children are in nursery far longer than they are in school.

My dd started aged 4 years and 12 days old, and she was fine. She loved the played led learning in Foundation, and was very disgruntled when going into year 1 to do ‘proper work’! They have 2 breaks and a lunch hour and have a lot of fun. I couldn’t believe all the new things she learned some in her first school year, I was v impressed :)

No? Where do you get this idea?
Things have changed. It was the case 40 years ago but now, although preschool extends to the age of 5, the final 2 years are much like reception, albeit a little more structured, not less!
And the hours are longer.

My kids do 8.15-4. Even 9-3 is a long day! So yeah a full time job till they retire 🙄😆 I guess it allows lots of mums to return to work earlier and young adults start paying taxes earlier.

The research is solid - but also, someone has to be the youngest! I think having the option to defer summer-born children is important, but ultimately, you know your child best. I looked into deferring as have late July-born twins (girls, premature) but in the end I felt they would benefit from being in a more grown-up environment socially as well as academically. They are in reception and most recent feedback at parents evening is that you would have no idea they are the youngest. They love school, friends and learning, are absolutely thriving and would not have benefited from another year of nursery. In short, it depends on the child!

@Aceh2 can you point me in the direction of this research please?

Do you have access to research databases via universities or are you just looking for google links - which TBH you could find yourself?

https://ifs.org.uk/sites/default/files/output_url_files/born_matters_summary.pdf

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9328428/

https://www.educationalneuroscience.org.uk/resources/neuromyth-or-neurofact/children-do-better-in-school-if-they-were-born-in-the-autumn/

https://www.kcl.ac.uk/news/younger-children-in-a-school-class-at-greater-risk-of-long-term-negative-outcomes-like-low-educational-achievement-and-substance-misuse

https://www.sciencefocus.com/news/depression-30-per-cent-more-likely-in-school-years-youngest-students

https://www.nuffieldfoundation.org/project/the-impact-of-month-of-birth-on-child-development
Relative to children born in September, children born in August, on average:

• Are 6.4 percentage points less likely to achieve 5 GCSEs or equivalents at grades A*-C (53.7% vs. 60.1%).
• Are 2 percentage points less likely to go to university at age 18 or 19, and 1 percentage point less likely to attend a Russell Group institution.

These links more references original papers - always helps to see what was actaully done and how data was collected - but if you read through they cite data and reference the resarch papers you can then track down.

TBH the results are across entire cohorts - and seen across countries and different educational systems - some of which I think have different time of year starts - and some studies are looking at exam results others SEN/ND diagnosis and others depression levels.

It's impossible to know if or how any potentail disadavantage would affect if at all any individual child.

My end of august born moved to part of UK where they take GCSE exams in Y10 so some of their normal GCSE exams were sat while they were Y10 so 14 not 16 as usually assumed or designed for. Hard to say how that affected results would they have been better if done when they were 16 - how can anyone really know for exams not at top grades.

My DS’s did some of their GCSE’s a year early too so one was just 15 and the other 14, it worked out well for them.
My late August DS graduated when he was still only 20 which did seem very young.

I'm not say it hasn't worked for my late august child - they are where they want to be doing a course they love and doing well - they headed off at just 18 to uni and will graduate at 20 as well.

I can't say though that some grades would not have been higher if they were a year or even two years older that others were when sitting same exams or if they'd have same results with perhaps less effort.

That's my point - for an individual you can't tell - there's so much other stuff that goes into it - but across a population there is a clear effect - youngest in year do face a disadvanatge and do have slightly lower results - why and what causing that's unclear and how much and what it is is hard to pin down.

We can all point to someone apparently unaffected - there are always exceptiosn and outlyers - but across an entire year group/poupulation the effect is there and has been known about for decades and there research and data that supports that. However someone always has to be the youngest - so anything that help reduce any affects it worth researching I'd say.

I suspect it most affects kids already suffering other disadvantages. I tried to do everything in my power to support and mitiagte any disadvatanges my kids faces be that SEN/ND or birth month - suspect OP will be as well so it's why they aren't even considering deferring.

genuine question… but you say you wish she’d been born a few weeks later but if she had been born a few weeks later, and was in the 2028 Intake, you’d be in the same financial position as deferring her, no?

Yes but as I’ve explained above, then I wouldn’t have a choice in the matter. It’s different to actively choosing something that would put the whole family in a worse financial situation. I can’t see DH going for it unless it’s obvious she wasn’t going to be ready.

So in that case, yes you will lose a year with her, compared to naturally autumn born children.

That's sort of how it works

Thanks for your valuable and heartfelt contribution 😅

Well I'm not sure what you're looking for really. You've explained very clearly you don't want to delay her so yeah, you'll lose that year.

Were you just posting to be heard about your feelings on the subject?

@Gravitass i don’t think I was really looking for anything. It was just a bit of a rumination. Quite a lot of posters managed to understand what I was saying and feeling really well.

Good stuff. I understand what you were saying, and I've agreed with you that what you're feeling is true. But you don't seem to like that and have taken offense to it.

No, no offence taken at all

We don't have reception in Scotland

I was actually thinking about this thread this morning. I am a little worried because I know that five children who will be in DDs reception class are all born between September and December 2022. It’s a small school, so there will only probably be around four other children and I really hope they are spring / summer born. Otherwise she will be between eleven and eight months younger than most of the children in her class.

I was actually thinking about this thread this morning. I am a little worried because I know that five children who will be in DDs reception class are all born between September and December 2022. It’s a small school, so there will only probably be around four other children and I really hope they are spring / summer born. Otherwise she will be between eleven and eight months younger than most of the children in her class.

That’s a big difference when there isn’t a spread among ages. Can you talk to the school about what they would recommend in your shoes?

My daughter has three very good and consistent friends since she started school she's in year 1. She is August born and they are a boy that is 1 year and 3 days older than her as he was deferred, a girl born in Nov but 3 months premature and a Dec born!

My daughter is 2nd percentile height and I was worried about the combination of youngest and smallest meaning she will be so much smaller than the others and this being a problem. She was 94 cm when she started school and in 2-3 y clothes!
The boy is tall for his age and my daughter barely comes up to his shoulder and is about the same size as his little sister 2y younger than her. She's the same size as the November born as she's also a little dot

She's in a one form intake class of 30 although there are only 28 in the main classroom due to SEN provisions. There are lots of Sept - Dec birthdays then a lull until May and then there are quite a few summer birthdays. My daughter is early August and there are two others younger than her!
We did opt not to send her to a school that only had 15 per year intake however as they merged classes after reception and we thought that have 2y between her peers given how small she is would be too much.

I ask all the schools we views how they help the youngest and smallest children keep up. 3 of the 4 told me they know children come in all shapes and sizes. The school we chose asked how being small and young affects her. She doesn't always realise that she can't physically do the same things as other children so can get out of her depth or struggle to try and climb like they do and she can struggle emotionally. She said they can buy steps if they need and support her emotionally. She is about 3 months behind her friends emotionally. I think she also struggles mood wise through the winter so November to February has been tricky the last 2 years as she gets out of step with her friends. The school provide her support with keeping up.

She struggled with the last 2 months of preschool when she was out of step with the children left in her room as most of the older children were term time only and finished. She was with the 3-3.5 year olds and she didn't play in the same way as they wanted too. So I think you get this miss match whether you start at 4 or 5, either way children don't develop linearly and uniformly.