To feel a bit like I’ve ‘lost’ a year with DD?

[scissorsinthekitchen]

I know it’s a bit silly but DD turns 3 this summer, and she’ll be starting school in September 2027.

I feel a bit bereft at the thought. Four is such a lovely age and I feel it’s going to be swallowed up a bit in reception.

I know deferral is a possibility but it isn’t without consequences further down the line and if I’m honest it’s for my benefit not hers. Unless there are clear reasons not to I guess I think she’s better in her school year, but the children I know her age all seem to be autumn / winter babies and so have that extra 9-12 months before starting school.

As it should be, most of Europe only starts primary after the age of 6 .
kids have so much time to be tied up to school and then work etc .

You'll be eligible for the same as she gets when she gets the funded hours, whether that be the 15 or 30.

You'll be eligible for the same as she gets when she gets the funded hours, whether that be the 15 or 30.

I know you don't want to defer, and obvious that's your call whether your send her to school early or late, but I didn't want there to be confusion about the funding entitlements. They run til the term after she turns 5.

I have an August born and she started school at 4 and 3 weeks.
That last summer of nursery was hard work! If I could have sent her to school at 3 and a half I would have!

She does need a bit of support socially and emotionally but this could also relate to the circumstances of her first 2 -2.5 years.

From a spending time with her perspective I think it's been so much better since she has started school. My time with her now is about teaching her the art of socialising. We do regular activities with her friends and it's lovely to see this joint community we are building. I used to have one day a week with her as I worked 4 days. I don't currently work at the moment and I think we do more together 3.30-5 4 days a week than we did on that full day.

I have been unwell so the balance has gone but when i first lost my job I tried to get as much of the house chores done during the week when she is as school leaving very little for the weekend so we get that quality family time together.

Lots of people seem to think kids in Europe are starting later. In Spain and France, they start at 3.

@Babyboomtastic i know, but the point is with fifteen hours I either have to a) continue to work less hours to care for her myself or b) send her to nursery / preschool more, which we’d have to pay for. Either way, that’s expensive.

The main thing is to make the most of the time we do have together. And to take a thousand photos so I don’t forget it

That I totally get!
Take all the photos.

I really miss my Fridays with my little one. We'd do ballet and go for cake and it was just lovely.

Personally as a shy child starting school early and being by far the youngest by almost a year (headmaster made his own rules and told dad to start me early) was probably the thing that shaped my life the most.

I think without the extra time in infants I would have struggled. Instead I was able to adapt and learn over a longer period and discovered i was bright...living in an area where education wasn't considered important or necessary, there has always been full employment if you wanted a job. It was brilliant for me and over 50 years later I am so grateful for it

But it’s played based until 6, no formal learning. Completely different from the England/Wales education system.

I planned to home-educate until mine was five. It might sadden you but as we went closer to three, it was so obvious we were getting on each others nerves and they needed some other form of stimulus. I put them in nursery three mornings a week once they turned three and it was the best thing I ever did for them and myself. We still had days together but the time apart made them more enjoyable. Once we hit three and a half it was clear they wanted to be at nursery with their friends rather than with Mummy. So actually mine was at school far earlier than aged four.

I suspect your child may also show similar signs of development even with a summer birthday.

Our twins were born August 11, are 8 now and we didn't defer. Hasn't seemed to have made a difference academically. Someone posted about the boys tending to be affected by not deferring more but in our case, our son has picked up the academic side a lot better than our daughter although to be fair, she's far more interested in art than maths and English.

I myself am a August baby who’s best friend was September born- I never felt disadvantaged to her and in high school we were in identical sets. I also have a August baby but plot twist she will have her October born brother in the same school year and class as her…They will be taught the same and be learning the same I see it as she gets a extra year in school learning and being taught by a trained professional

You're not silly at all. Mine turned 4 in January and supposed to start school this September 2026. I'm not ready at all. I believe this is much too young, we are taking their childhood away. When I started school back home, we went at age of 7 and now they're going at 6, but not at 4 or nearly 5.
He's going to childminder twice a week and he is fine there, but every time is a battle taking him there in the first place. I'm considering home schooling, my neighbour is doing this with her kid who is just turning 5 in a month. I don't want to lose these precious few more years but as well so many parents feel same, that's why home schooling is so popular. Breathe momma, I know it's hard, but we will get through this! 🤗

I am a July baby and have five children, two born in June, one in May, one in February and one in December. Their birth month had no reflection in academic ability. I didn't do well at school but that had nothing to do with my abilities, more to do with the social side. I was happy for all of mine to start at 4 as it reduced the financial pressure.

@bingbong8691 my Spanish sister in law in was buying maths and language books for her 3 year old starting school - as was required by the school.

In Scotland, deferring is also becoming a huge trend AND primary one and two are now based on play based education. Lots of kids are starting school at 5.5-6 and then entering into two years of play based learning. I think as other posters have said, people somehow think they are getting an advantage by deferring their kids. I don't think there is anything wrong with kids learning - that is what their brains are wired for. The argument seem to be that there are no downsides to deferring. I disagree with that completely.

This is so interesting. I work with younger children and have heard about the disadvantages of deferral as the child gets older. It’s good for me to have real examples.

@Mayana1

”I'm not ready at all”

what about him?

I did well academically throughout school and A levels. The car crash was uni and a lack of maturity. By midway through my second year I had got there but it was already too late. Hindsight is wonderful and I'd have been so much better for deferring uni for a year. I don't think deferring earlier than that would actually have helped me much because I'd already had to deal with swot comments and just get my head down to survive being one of the eldest would only have made that worse. DH is in a similar boat to this too as he's also a summer baby.

We made an active decision that we absolutely did not want a summer baby in the first place and planned accordingly. Thankfully DS obliged.

As it stands DS has his own challenges and being one of the eldest has it's own drawbacks. Id argue that December to March is probably optimal!

Hi haven’t RTFT but jumped on to say, if you don’t have to, don’t rob your child of an extra year of development before starting school. I was pushed through a year early (late autumn baby) and it had massive repercussions on my physically and psychologically. Even if your child keeps up academically, they will always be smaller in sports, less developed through puberty, having milestone birthdays and driving a year later than their peers. Listen to your gut on this one.

In contrast, my older son being born in September was the best thing that could have happened for him. I would still err on the side of an autumn baby if I had the choice! My summer born is very young for his age (but didn’t defer). We’ll see how that pans out.

Agree with PP on uni being a car crash because of lack of maturity as well as all the unsafe relationships I sought for affirmation and acceptance.

You can’t put a child into school a year too early! Not now, anyway.

@scissorsinthekitchen I agree with curious.

1:1 time will benefit her far more with you than being lost in a large class.

If you can research the basic skills she needs ,fine and gross motor skills, read to her pointing at the words ..get flash cards for the 100 high frequency words and do basic maths with her.

She will be in a good place to start if you delay

@Zippidydoodah Well you could, in 1985. Secondary in 1993 when I was 10. Uni in 2000 when I was 17. Graduated uni at 20 years old.

You definitely can’t now, and I can see why! I’m not surprised that affected you so much. 10 is so young to start secondary!