DD aged 10 needs root canal

[DDtooth]

I’m really upset right now and wondering if anyone can advise? My dentist can’t see us till Thursday next week. DD had pain in her upper back tooth and when I looked at tooth I can see a big hole. Called usual dentist and the receptionist who’s very rude and unhelpful said no appointment till next week Thursday. I contacted NHS 111 who gave us an emergency appointment. They couldn’t do much and have put a temporary filling in tooth which should last till I see usual dentist. She told me DD may have to have root canal.

i feel so guilty because I haven’t been strong enough. My MIL gives DD sweets, fizzy drinks and unhealthy stuff every time we see them (2x a week) for first 5 years of her life she would see DD everyday and ply her with unhealthy stuff, even giving her spoonfuls of sugar! Every time I told MIL not to she would scream in my face and start crying (Mil not dd!) and telling her she did this with her kids and they turned out fine. And questioning why I’m like this

DH never once stood up to MIL. We are of a culture where I’m supposed to “respect” MIL and basically just put up with her shit. I’ve limited DD only seeing her once or twice a week max now. MIL has diabetes so you would imagine she would understand how bad sugar is. DH just tells me to stop it and she doesn’t give her anything which is a complete lie and is evident from DD’s teeth. I limit sweets and chocolates in the house and she never has fizzy drinks in our home.

sorry for rant but I have no one I can be this honest with. Is this as bad as I’m thinking? I’ve told DD if grandma offers her unhealthy stuff just to refuse from now on but I know it will be hard for her. I just don’t understand what benefits MIL thinks giving DD all this sugar is.

At 10 most children have spaces between their teeth, (most of which willl still be deciduous) which are self-cleaning and they can also do more harm (damage to the gingivae) than any possible good. Flossing is better left until the dentition is established and the child has the ability to floss properly.

Child Cleary hasn’t been going for her regular dental visits twice a year - is that MILs fault too?

I’ve had 2 root canals. It didn’t find them too bad at all tbh.

Not for a child. You don't give young children fizzy drinks.

I had a root canal at about 19/20, because it was in my very front tooth, after being hit by a flying hockey ball! It essentially 'killed' the nerve, and we did a lot to try and save it.

I do remember the treatment being a bit uncomfortable - largely the injections in the thin part of my gum at the front. It wasn't awful. I did appreciate being able to keep my tooth for as long as possible.

Unfortunately, it got to the end of it's life when I got an abscess in my bone, which we couldn't clear up, in my mid-30s. I now have a fixed bridge, which might be an option for spacing, if the tooth did need to come out.

However, going forward, I'd limit the time spent with your MIL, for a number of reasons you've outlined.

This.

Op are you sure that your DD doesn't have hypoplastic first adult molars? I'd be really surprised if an adult molar has decayed that quickly if she brushes twice a day. Look online for pictures of hypoplastic molars - my child had this and I had to get the hypoplastic adult teeth removed when they were 10, as they were so weak.

This. OP you really need to start parenting better.

Yes, I had this - fissure sealant I think it's called - as a child. It's definitely been helpful.

My DD has them too - not as severely, but has needed repeated treatment, sealing and now fillings.

still, easier to blame MIL.

She should have them removed! That's why they're crumbling! They will cause her ongoing dental issues at a large cost to her in adulthood. She should just have the whole set taken out, under GA, then the other molars will migrate forward to fill the gap that's been left behind. Definitely push for her to be referred for surgical removal and also an orthodontist to monitor her tooth migration / open communication incase she needs braces as a result of the gap. Definitely push for this, because the teeth will just crumble and decay and cost £££ maintaining them when she's older.

Edited to add - This should all be available on the NHS!

Have you been taking your daughter every 6 months to see the dentist? Surely they would have picked up on a problem with her teeth before now. You don’t mention whether you go regularly.

I feel really sorry for your daughter, a root canal is horrific.

My DM was part of a fluoride trial in pregnancy. My teeth were terrible as a result and I needed preventative fillings because I had really deep fissures.

My girls were all given banana flavoured sealant paste on their back teeth every time they went to the dentist. Top tip: it does not taste like banana, it's fairly disgusting. But there is a mint alternative. The girls asked for it to be put on their records that they wanted mint. They also cheered when they got to 18 and they stopped giving it!

I'm not a dentist so no idea what the cause is of a root canal. But surely you as the parent are the one responsible for her diet, her teeth brushing, oral hygiene and dentist visits.

And even if your MIL was plying her with junk food, it's your responsibility as the parent to be saying no to her. It seems a bit of a stretch that she would "scream in your face and cry" purely because she was told no to giving your daughter a fizzy juice. And if she did display these behaviours, why did you still see her every day then?

This isn't down to your MIL. It's down to your very apparent lack of taking responsibility for your daughters health.

@DDtooth , please don't use your "culture" as an excuse for not standing up to your mother in law and your husband. You are the mother of your child; you are the one who must look after her well being - her teeth, other health matters, her mental well-being. If your mother in law can't see the problem and won't agree to comply with your requests then you are within your rights to tell her (and your husband) that your daughter won't be spending any time with her without you being there too. Stick to it.

You do realise that "twice" and "several" mean different things?

She must have weak enamel. I think you are looking for someone to blame. Grandparents do often give sweets and fizzy drinks. As long as she’s brushing well with an electric toothbrush twice a day that can’t be it.

I had an ex who used to eat sweets all day long. No fillings . I never eat sweets or drink any fizzy drinks, brush teeth well and I have a lot of fillings. My teeth are crap.

I’d have a chat with the dentist about putting some coating in the teeth

If you have antibiotics when pregnant this can impact enamel. My DS has one tooth with no enamel so has it coated.

I wouldn't panic until you've seen your dentist. Did they take any xrays? At 10 years old I would think it highly unusual to need a root canal - the adults molars haven't even had much time in her mouth.

I had root canal at 27 and forty years later, it’s still okay. I believe it depends very much on how the original work is done.

She's your child, your responsibility. It's convenient to blame your MIL but there is more to this as to why she has such a big cavity at 10.

Look after your child better.

Get her to brush her teeth after every visit to GM, and after every meal. Is she brushing her back teeth properly they can be difficult to reach and easy to miss. Do you have soft water, that can be bad for teeth too.

As a Paediatric Dentist, the amount of bad advice, incorrect information and just totally batshit ideas is mind blowing!

I've only read the most recent 15 comments but honestly!

1. 'Do you have soft water, that can be bad for teeth too' - WRONG! Soft water is lower in minerals like calcium and magnesium, but this has nothing to do with enamel remineralisation and caries activity.
2. 'The adults molars haven't even had much time in her mouth' - WRONG! They usually erupt around age 6.
3. 'DM was part of a fluoride trial in pregnancy. My teeth were terrible as a result and I needed preventative fillings because I had really deep fissures' - WRONG! Fluoride is one the most effective and evidence-based oral hygiene measures. The number of randomised clinical trials (the only effective way to prove cause and effect) outweigh almost every other area of medical and dental research, and the evidence can not be disputed.
4. 'Definitely push for her to be referred for surgical removal and also an orthodontist to monitor her tooth migration / open communication incase she needs braces as a result of the gap' - WRONG! She does not need surgical removal for a simple carious first permanent molar. She also DOES NOT need referring to an orthodontist aged 10 for the space. She needs to wait until her primary teeth have exfoliated unless there is an indication for early intervention. An orthodontist is not going to put a fixed appliance on to close a single posterior tooth space, and they do not simply 'monitor' 'tooth migration' - this is up to your regular dentist.
5. 'At 10 most children have spaces between their teeth, (most of which willl still be deciduous) which are self-cleaning and they can also do more harm (damage to the gingivae) than any possible good.' - WRONG! Contacts between between teeth start closing around aged 4-5, hence why chiuldren shout start having bitewing radiographs around aged 5 (although most dont). The contacts between primary teeth are flat - and are quite literally the OPPOSITE of self-cleaning.
6. Cavities are caused by a lack of nutrition.- WRONG! Caries (cavities as you say) is LITERALLY ONLY caused by tooth-adherent cariogenic bacteria metabolising carbohydrate (SUGAR) to produce acid leading to demineralisation (enamel weakness) and caries (decay).

PLEASE EVERYONE just go to a dentist, and when dealing with challenging children's dental issues, find a paediatric dentist (Yes, I know the NHS is a nightmare, and I know there are no NHS dentists, and I know private dentistry is very expensive - and NO, I am not a rich private dentist, I work at an NHS dentist hospital).

I would be furious with MiL but even more furious with DH if he had failed to stop this. His mother, his responsibility to have those difficult conversations.

Surely he now sees the impact and will tell his mother to stop the sugary treats? And intervene strongly if she tries to overrule him during their visits? Surely your MiL will recognise she was in the wrong as her actions have caused and will continue to cause her DGD pain?

My DH is a bit of an apologist when it comes to his family’s behaviour, but would not fail to intervene if our DD’s health was in issue and over the years has stood up to them if he thinks any of his family members are in the wrong. I couldn’t respect and therefore love a man who didn’t.

Yes my dentist told me the same. He said diet ones weren’t any better because it was the acid that was the problem. I don’t touch them now and my kids never had them

Dd had root canal aged 9, but it was on a front tooth as a result of trauma. I'd be livid with MIL, taking her with you is perhaps a good idea as it might stop her giving in future.

It was fairly unpleasant for DD, 1st session was the worst. She had a few treats after each session to help, for her this was a new book each time as she's a real bookworm.

I'm in the middle of a root canal treatment. My last appointment to get it finished off is next week. It hasn't been painful at all (apart from the cost, perhaps) and wasn't worse than any other dental treatment.
If it's an adult tooth, what would be your alternative? Pull it and put in an implant?