DD aged 10 needs root canal

[DDtooth]

I’m really upset right now and wondering if anyone can advise? My dentist can’t see us till Thursday next week. DD had pain in her upper back tooth and when I looked at tooth I can see a big hole. Called usual dentist and the receptionist who’s very rude and unhelpful said no appointment till next week Thursday. I contacted NHS 111 who gave us an emergency appointment. They couldn’t do much and have put a temporary filling in tooth which should last till I see usual dentist. She told me DD may have to have root canal.

i feel so guilty because I haven’t been strong enough. My MIL gives DD sweets, fizzy drinks and unhealthy stuff every time we see them (2x a week) for first 5 years of her life she would see DD everyday and ply her with unhealthy stuff, even giving her spoonfuls of sugar! Every time I told MIL not to she would scream in my face and start crying (Mil not dd!) and telling her she did this with her kids and they turned out fine. And questioning why I’m like this

DH never once stood up to MIL. We are of a culture where I’m supposed to “respect” MIL and basically just put up with her shit. I’ve limited DD only seeing her once or twice a week max now. MIL has diabetes so you would imagine she would understand how bad sugar is. DH just tells me to stop it and she doesn’t give her anything which is a complete lie and is evident from DD’s teeth. I limit sweets and chocolates in the house and she never has fizzy drinks in our home.

sorry for rant but I have no one I can be this honest with. Is this as bad as I’m thinking? I’ve told DD if grandma offers her unhealthy stuff just to refuse from now on but I know it will be hard for her. I just don’t understand what benefits MIL thinks giving DD all this sugar is.

💯 agree.
Some appalling ‘advice’ given on this thread, the level of ignorance amongst the general public is astounding.
Actually, one of the most astounding aspects is the ‘advice’ being given in such a confident and strident manner ! The advice from the apparent ‘dental nurse’ being a case in point. I’m mortified for the dental nurse’ , assuming they are actually an RDN that is …unlikely, but if so, time to learn to shut up if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

You’re wasting way too much energy blaming your mother in law. You are the child’s mother. I am not saying you are to blame but projecting your feelings of guilt onto your husbands mother isn’t going to do anything other than cause more ill feeling. See what your dentist says about the treatment, get it sorted and then maybe have a look at what the real issues with your mother in law are and make a plan to address them.

Mosaic123 · Yesterday 17:30
Could you make MIL come to the dentist with you when DD has her extraction/dental work done?
You could make sure the dentist scares her into being sensible in the future.
Tell the dentist this is what you want. Advice for this not happening again.
You could ask MIL to come with you for support ... .

This 100%
And as one who has been there - extraction. Root canal fillings don’t last more than15 years - if she’s lucky.

This. The issue is rarely the sugar it's the lack of brushing afterwards or poor brushing technique. Tbh a child this age shouldn't be brushing their teeth unsupervised as they'll likely just chew on the brush a bit and hardly any of the teeth will be properly brushed, all around the mouth. Tooth brushing is SO important and so many foolish people think as long as a child has I effectively shoved a bit of toothpaste round their mouth for a few seconds, that's enough. Yuck

My 13yr DS recently needed a root canal. We were told that they would do the root canal before even considering extraction. It was a front tooth though

I had a root canal on a molar at 15. I’m 42 and it’s just failed, however my edontic consultant advised as it’s a stable chronic infection we will monitor for 6mo and then attempt to clean and reinstate.

It is a lot of dental work but I remember being in agony with the cavity more than I do the surgery.

I was just sharing my lived experience.

Op said her daughter has hypoplastic molars, which is what I was referring to - not a carious molar... Check OPs updates - she said the molar is hypoplastic.

And therefore my response was about hypoplastic molar management... Assuming all of her first set of adult molars have the same.

My child is being monitored by an orthodontist annually, to check that their second set of adult molars are migrating forward nicely into the space that the 4 X first adult molars were removed from... My child had 4 extremely hypoplastic molars, 1 chipped off and was filled before all 4 were removed. Their second molars are now coming in and appear to be moving forward to close the gap. I've been pleased with the service in our area. Our regular dentist does the checkups and the orthodontist does additional annual checks to make sure they're happy with things on their side.

My child had an extraction at 18, just recently.

They had a cavity identified early during COVID aged 13 which dentists would not treat, except with antibiotics. By the time treatment was made available the cavity was enormous. A temporary filling lasted 5+ years but by the time we were looking at a root canal an X ray revealed a cyst under it. So extraction it was. I am 55 and have never had an extraction...

So our dentist had words with my youngest DD who has a chewy sweet addiction amongst other things. She needed 3 fillings in a short space of time. However the dentist told me that even though she was 11 at the time I think, I should be supervising and even doing the brushing and no relying on her to do it. Electronic ones definitely better. Flossing and mouthwash.

However it’s not just sweets. Fruit can have the same effect if brushing isn’t good enough. I recall seeing a tv doc on poor mouth hygiene in kids and a miter was gobsmacked that her child had to have quite a lot of teeth extracted due to decay because she didn’t let them have sweets. But they did eat a lot of fruit and grazed through the day.

Dentist said if they want sweets given at a meal time rather than as a separate snack between meals. Milk or water to drink.

Yes and on a front tooth that’s absolutely correct. 6s totally different

And you’ve let this go on for 10 years?!?! It’s abuse … leave!!

It’s a bit more than a few sweets … who gives a child spoonfuls of sugar?!?!? The women is a psycho!

No the OP never said the molars were hypo plastic

This happened to my son at 11. I felt like the worst parent so please let’s stop jumping on the OP as she will be beating herself up more than anyone else. he has hypoplastic molars.
Due to covid he had not seen a dentist. He didn’t eat crazy amounts of sugary things/ fizzy drinks and cleaned his teeth well.

We had advice from a root canal specialist and orthodentist . The advice was that a RC would last at most 10 years and be difficult for a child to tolerate.
He had a small jaw and a wisdom
tooth sitting ready on the xray to descend into the gap that would otherwise have crowded the jaw.
So we went for extraction. He now has no gap at all and won’t need a wisdom tooth extraction in the future .
BUT
extraction under LA was awful even by a very skilled and kind dentist. It took 3 local top ups and multiple pulls. I would see if you can find somewhere that does sedation if you choose this option.

Anyone who screamed in my face and didn’t follow basic requests wouldn’t be seeing my kids again. And if my DH didn’t support me, he wouldn’t be living with us either.

My suggestion would be that your DH absolutely has to come to the dentist with you and listen to what the dentist says. Maybe even try to have a chat with the dentist beforehand too, explain what’s happening and tell him to go in hard with your DH and DD. I’ve heard dentists in a hospital setting be quite brutal with parents.

I also think you need to lay the law down with your DD and tell her that if she eats and drinks all this sugar she’ll have no teeth by the time she’s 20 and she’ll be in a lot of pain for the next few years. She’s old enough now to take some responsibility. If she does see your MIL make her practise saying “No gran, I am cutting down on sugar because I’ve lost a tooth already.” And tell her to be firm. If your MIL doesn’t listen then she needs to stop seeing her for a time. Trust your instincts, you knew this was wrong but now because of your MIL (most likely) your DD has lost a tooth she’s never getting back.

Adult teeth come through at 6 years old. Therefore it won’t be the MIL feeding sugar daily for first five years that’s the issue. Also seeing once a week with sweets/fizzy drinks again wouldn’t be enough to cause such bad decay in a tooth to result in maybe needing a root canal. I do think you need to look at what you feed her and what she has in school. Genuinely be honest - does she have fruit juices/squash/sugary drinks/regular snacking of sweet stuff? Does she use an adult toothpaste and brush twice a day? Do you get her regular dental check ups? A large cavity like this should have been picked up a bit earlier.

I agree though probably better to extract and allow the other permanent molar to fill in the gap. Discuss with your dentist.

Not sure your MIL can be blamed for this. I almost exclusively drank fizzy drinks as a child but brushed my teeth - only filings I’ve got were ones i earnt as an adult when my mother wasn’t standing over me. (And handing out disclosing tablets once a month)

You were 15. The OP daughter is 10. You’d missed your window of opportunity at 15. An extraction of a 6 at 15 is going to leave spacing. An extraction of a 6 in a 10 year old is totally different scenario and can lead to quite a good closed space result. A 15 year old versus a 10year old having molar endo; no comparison in cooperation levels. No comparison at all.
Let me tell you those 10year olds who can tolerate molar endo with a rubber dam posteriorly clamped onto their tooth are FEW and FAR-between.

Mind, there are some very naive inexperienced general dentists who try to refer kids for this, asking for molar endo under Inhalation sedation 😱🤦‍♀️. Maddening. How they think this can be done with a rubber dam on, working posteriorly and with a nasal sedation mask on , bending yourself into a pipe cleaner shape to see, and then actually managing the anxious kid underneath it all, god only knows. Safe to say, it will nearly always be getting extracted in paediatric specialist services with / without GA or Inhalation Sedation & local anaesthetic.

I have had several root canals. The bit about it being no worse than a filling and being a longer more boring process is true.

I totally understand how you feel about your MIL I’m afraid you are going to have to stand up to her. Her behaviour is toxic, she has ignored your request not to feed your child so much sugar, that alone is a red flag. It’s incredibly unhealthy for a child to consume that much sugar and is setting them up for a lifetime of unhealthy eating habits and food cravings. What I think she gets from it is power and control. It’s unreasonable to put the responsibility of standing up to her onto your child. You are the parent, you must do it. If you are too afraid of the repercussions then you should seek help from your GP and social services.

My 13yr old had an adult molar removed last year under general anaesthetic because of a massive hole. Go for the root canal if you can.

My DD is 13 and has just had to have root canal in her adult molar. She didn’t find it painful at all just a bit uncomfy. She now has it filled but will need a crown eventually. Extraction was never on the table.
For reference the dental practice we are with are quite hitech and all for the most up to date treatments so I’m confident in what they are doing.

Your going to have to have a serious talk with your husband and tell him his mother is destroying his daughters teeth he either protects his daughter or you will and it won't be pretty .

Ok I was just trying to reassure OP that this needn’t mean it will fail.

I have a small jaw and had 4 teeth out from my lower jaw as orthodontic surgery and still have a hugely crowded mouth; it wasn’t like a crocodile opening up…

I would also say it happened to me due to a period of chaotic upbringing and homelessness for our family, I have had no fillings in adulthood as it’s really brought home the importance of oral hygiene.

I would definitely make sure your mother in law goes to the dentist appointment with you and your daughter. She needs to see what her granddaughter is going to have to go through because of her plying her with crap. And then supervised contact afterwards.