DD aged 10 needs root canal

[DDtooth]

I’m really upset right now and wondering if anyone can advise? My dentist can’t see us till Thursday next week. DD had pain in her upper back tooth and when I looked at tooth I can see a big hole. Called usual dentist and the receptionist who’s very rude and unhelpful said no appointment till next week Thursday. I contacted NHS 111 who gave us an emergency appointment. They couldn’t do much and have put a temporary filling in tooth which should last till I see usual dentist. She told me DD may have to have root canal.

i feel so guilty because I haven’t been strong enough. My MIL gives DD sweets, fizzy drinks and unhealthy stuff every time we see them (2x a week) for first 5 years of her life she would see DD everyday and ply her with unhealthy stuff, even giving her spoonfuls of sugar! Every time I told MIL not to she would scream in my face and start crying (Mil not dd!) and telling her she did this with her kids and they turned out fine. And questioning why I’m like this

DH never once stood up to MIL. We are of a culture where I’m supposed to “respect” MIL and basically just put up with her shit. I’ve limited DD only seeing her once or twice a week max now. MIL has diabetes so you would imagine she would understand how bad sugar is. DH just tells me to stop it and she doesn’t give her anything which is a complete lie and is evident from DD’s teeth. I limit sweets and chocolates in the house and she never has fizzy drinks in our home.

sorry for rant but I have no one I can be this honest with. Is this as bad as I’m thinking? I’ve told DD if grandma offers her unhealthy stuff just to refuse from now on but I know it will be hard for her. I just don’t understand what benefits MIL thinks giving DD all this sugar is.

Ignore this, it's a very outdated and incorrect response.

Am I really the only one to find it unsettling that op, having ascribed blame to mil, additionally would like to "punch her in the face"?

Your MIL isn’t the cause of this. Of course this much sugar is completely inadvisable, but it hasn’t directly caused the issue.

I’m in the same position OP with my 14yo, also requiring a root canal. Second to back tooth, upper. She was very much of the opinion to pull it, but as she is due to see the orthodontist next Friday for braces, I want them to see her first for a second opinion. Luckily she’s also scheduled for some dental X-rays in advance on Wednesday. Did the dentist prescribe any antibiotics? Only asking as although my daughter isn’t in pain as such, he did say things “weren’t good” in her mouth and prescribed her a 7 day course which will take us to Sunday.
Whilst it’s clear my daughter’s daily can of full fat Coke won’t have helped her position, we also have a family history of bad gums/teeth. Her diet also isn’t particularly good, lots of beige food and only eating veg if it’s with a Sunday lunch. So whilst one can of coke a day won’t have helped, there are also other factors to bare in mind before completly laying the blame on MIL.

Honestly, at 10 this is probably 10% sugar and 90% oral hygiene.

Have you tried doing the blue tablets with her. We have to do random spot checks in our house because my kids lie about brushing.

Teeth just seem to be luck. As a child I ate sweets chocolates, fizzy drinks, juice and sugar cubes! I wasn't the best at brushing my teeth either as it made me gag. Had my first filling at 40 and thst was for a cracked tooth due to clenching my teeth, not a cavity.

Your mil not listening to your wishes and shouting at you is very unpleasant though.

Take Mil to the extraction and make her watch.

Does she have any other health issues that might be worth investigating? Things like coeliac can cause issues with teeth.

I've had about 5 root canals. My dentist told me that I have faulty enamel which means a tiny hole in the enamel means a gaping cavity inside

You need to stand up to your MiL, if she cant follow the rules take away he babysitting rights, or is she childcare?

I think most people brush their teeth twice a day but I don't know anyone who flosses twice a day.

I floss about once a week max and have never had a filling in spite of not going to the dentist for about 8 years as an adult - been recently and my teeth were fine.

Even the dentist doesn't suggest flossing once a day.

Are you sure it’s not something like hypo mineralised molars? Where the enamel hasn’t formed properly?

My dentist does. Floss and interdental brushes every day or as he says - I don’t really care how you do it but clean in between your teeth every evening

Quoting myself because that should have said "Even the dentist doesn't suggest flossing more than once a day."

Yes sorry I was just writing to correct myself b- should have said more than once!

10 year olds shouldn’t babe flossing and yiu can’t brush your way out of a poor diet. Sugar causes decay, brushing or not.

Brushing x2 a day is NOT the same as brushing AND flossing SEVERAL times a day!

They get the 1st adult molar at 6.

I have had a root canal, the dentist froze me up and I had no pain at all.

This is the case with every single tooth since we started using fluoride toothpaste

Of course they can floss at 10, as soon as two teeth touch/contact they should be flossed so you clean in between them

This is complete garbage!
Cavities are caused by sugar.
No sugar = no decay.

Your MIL gives her spoonfuls of sugar?!

For a first permenant molar in a 10yo I would extract providing she has her 7s and 8's. These teeth are likely to migrate forward and close the gap

Ultimately decay can't happen without plaque. Sugar once or twice a week with really good oral hygeine is unlikely to lead to significant decay. This is not just your MILS fault. You need to review both your Dds diet and her brushing, she's 10 10you should have been brushing for her up until this year, and many 10 yos still aren't capable of brushing properly

Fizzy drinks are really bad for teeth - the acid wears away the enamel, apparently.

I found out the hard way when there was a sudden deterioration in my teeth when I was in my 20s. My dentist quizzed me about my diet and informed me that the 'One Cal' fizzy drinks that I was taking were causing the problem - he'd noted a deterioration from one 6 month appointment to the next.

How often does your daughter see the dentist? Were there any previous issues with this tooth? Are there any other issues with the rest of her teeth?