Is MN feeding unhealthy attitudes towards men?

[Grtscott]

Some threads I've read this morning have helped me to realise that my thinking about men has changed since joining MN. And not in a good way.

There's an undertone that men need to do things the woman's way, or it's wrong. That men should be grateful for any sex that women are willing to give in a long term relationship, even if that peters out to no sex at all.

Men are seen to be babies who can't do anything for themselves, and need to have someone pre plan and organise their lives, but god forbid they fall into the pattern of behaviour of expecting their female partner to do these things for them, as that's what they've always done.

This thinking is observable to a greater or lesser extent across the boards.

I've also recognised where this thinking has affected the way I think about my wonderful man, and sometimes in things I've said to him or actions towards him. I need to watch this in future.

I'm concerned that the general thinking about men on this website can't be good for society if this is the way women think, and are encouraged to think by others.

If women treat men this way collectively and have low expectations around them, no wonder the bar is getting lower.

As someone who did all of those things and married a bad one… I didn’t know in the beginning. I was very very young and wised up quickly. It was a shame I had to do that: if I’d had Mumsnet or the knowledge I wouldn’t have but I didn’t and I can’t change the past.

I have explained. If you don't understand i can't help you any further. I won't be answering any more of your posts.

If you play in faeces, you'll eventually stink of shit.

Why not visit male dominated sites then and access a much larger sample size? Perhaps that will serve as a balance and reassure you that what you read on MN is not reflective. Maybe.

I'm happy with what I'm doing thank you.

Hah! I haven't heard that before. It makes me think of, "Never wrestle with a pig in the mud, you’ll both get dirty and the pig likes it" 😆

Probably wise. Sonetimes ignorance is the best way to peace of mind.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is what I love about some women. They bitch like hell about men's bad behaviour and completely ignore the damage women cause so skilfully with caustic words and subtle actions. Not, of course, suggesting that this is you.

If you can't handle a very mildly acerbic exchange between women in the course of a discussion, then I'm not sure you'd be able to handle reading the sorts of things that men say about women - so probably ignorance is best.

I know I personally take the 'ignorance is bliss' route with some things. There's no shame in limiting the amount of negativity you consume.

I'm not sure what you're getting at? Speak plainly. I assume you're being sarcastic and you do mean me, so what damage have I possibly caused to you or anyone else by commenting that if you're worried about having your view of men negatively impacted by chat forums, you may indeed be wise to stay away from male dominated ones?

I knew eventually this discussion would end in: ooh some women are so bitchy.

We should alert the Met Police. Maybe they can turn their VAWG task force into an anti-bitchiness unit.

Yes. "Men are really lovely and nasty women tell lies and exaggerate about them." Gets warm affirmation from men and push back from women. Serves as confirmation of original statement.

I don’t hate men at all. I love them as much as I love all humans and I don’t think we should expect them to behave the same as women. They’re not the same as us.
The trouble is. Because I don’t have to live with one any more I choose not to. My young adult daughters appear to have decided not to take one on at all.
I am slowly coming around to thinking that the reasons we built all our patriarchal (and religious) societies is because it’s the only way that really works for men. And they’re bigger than us. When we have the choice we too often just don’t put up with them. I’m so thankful to be living here and now and relatively safe living without one.

Women talking about men behaving badly makes men look bad, so obviously the problem is the women talking about it, not men’s actual bad behaviour. And men don’t do “that”, and if they are I don’t want to see it.

This should sum it up.

Agree on this.

Yes, loads of subreddits to do with red pill theory are allowed to stay up although the main one was banned. Other incel forums are allowed on the web too.

I'm a sadsack who sometimes checks if a poster has posted before so I can see the likelihood of someone posting in good faith on April Fool's Day.

I got sucked in thinking you might be. So more fool me.

Pretty sure if she was she’d be defending men to the ends of the earth and NAMALTing until the cows come home, like lots of posters here 😂

one of today’s I saw was a man convicted of training his dog to do sex acts on him,

Goodness!!

LOL!

Have you watched the news lately OP ?

After over a decade and multiple username changes on Mumsnet, it’s apparent that the community includes countless women, mothers, and others who seem to hold negative feelings toward men, including their partners, husbands, sons, and other male relatives or friends.

To make matters worse, there’s a strong and influential anti–stay-at-home mothers movement on the site that shares its views widely.

Another observation is the noticeable ageism toward women over 50.

In short, there are certain groups of people that are clearly disliked.

After giving it more thought, in simple terms, it feels like women here are at odds with each other-one group against another-fueling constant online hostility with no end in sight. Women who work outside the home strongly dislike mothers who work from home, while working moms look down on women who don’t work at all. Women under 40 clash with those over 50, and the same cycle plays out over other issues. In online spaces, women don’t seem to treat each other any better than they treat men when making comparisons.

Going back to the topic of mothers here having negative feelings toward men, I can’t help but wonder about their sons, if they have any. Are these boys treated well? Are their mothers encouraging them to be more like girls? Are they raising and educating them in a way that lets them grow into the people their mothers truly want them to be?

What’s raising them into being more like girls?

Those are very, very simple terms. I'd even call them simplistic.

You forgot to mention fathers in your little diatribe about bringing up sons.