Page 9 | AIBU - mini eggs and mum

Housemovehopeful2024 · 2026-03-31T20:30:37+00:00

My daughter is almost 7. I am not a fan of her having mini eggs due to the risk of choking (not precious about other chocolate or sweets - it’s just the risk of choking I’m worried about). I have told my mum this but despite that and reminding her, she seems to repeatedly give them to her. One week it’ll be a chocolate yogurt with mini eggs, the next week mini egg cakes (only one egg per cake so perhaps less of an issue?) or a small egg with mini eggs in. This week, they made Easter cakes with the smarties equivalent of mini eggs (still the same size and shape). AIBU to be irked by this or am I being too precious? YABU - stop being so pernickety YANBU - mini eggs are a hazard and in any event she should listen to your wishes

Probablyshouldntsay · 01/04/2026 10:34

yanbu- my mum did this so often with uncut grapes that I stopped dd going for tea anymore

GlomOfNit · 01/04/2026 11:37

BertieBotts · 01/04/2026 10:25

I am not actually being lighthearted about OCD. I am not a clinician and don't know what the tipping point is for a diagnosis, so would never suggest that somebody has it, but I do absolutely think there is a danger with internet forums and social media algorithms, especially around parenting, to tap into a thinking pattern which seems similar to what is described in OCD or reassurance-seeking anxiety, where there is almost a sort of one-upmanship around safety and making sure that you are aware of every possible danger and going to greater and greater lengths to eliminate them. The problem with these thinking patterns is that once you start it is hard to stop, it is hard to gauge what is "normal" and if you accidentally enter an arena where other people are operating in the same way then it both reinforces that your fear is logical and valid, and additionally people can end up egging each other on suggesting more and more ways to avoid or reduce risk. Or what I tend to notice with my own algorithms is that whatever thing I accidentally linger too long on (for me it tends to be house fires, car crashes and rare childhood illnesses) I will get served more and more of until I end up an anxious mess and I have to try and either re-train the algorithm to show me other things or step away from the internet altogether for a while.

Before anyone jumps on me, I do think it's helpful to have awareness of potential safety issues and absolutely to take steps to minimise risk especially where young children are concerned. But there has to be a balance between risk avoidance and risk acceptance. It is not possible to eliminate all and every risk at all times, so learning to be comfortable with this is important too.

I'm guessing it's prevalent in parenting spaces because there is probably some kind of hormonal shift which makes us hyper-aware of risk when we have recently given birth, which makes sense because babies and toddlers are vulnerable and have very little risk awareness of their own. But if you think about the context which this evolved in, we wouldn't have had access to so much terrifying and paralysing information, nor groups of people where we can hyperfocus on that one specific issue and worry about it. Without the internet you'd be exposed to more of a range of perspectives like in this thread - many people saying nah don't worry, it's fine, a smaller number saying oh yes that's valid, I worry about that too.

I don't know a huge amount about OCD but I do know that it can show up in different ways and not all of them are the more obvious or well known ones, but they all involve fear of harm coming to either yourself or (more commonly) a loved one, and that it is easier to spot when the connection is illogical (e.g. my family will die if I don't count my steps exactly) but it may also be involved with connections which seem logical (my child is at high risk of choking if they eat XYZ food). I know that I personally am prone to falling into OCD-like worry patterns with the reassurance seeking, this has been told to me by a doctor, although I am not actually diagnosed. Looking for ways to avoid or reduce risk is a form of reassurance seeking, which is difficult because obviously some degree of this is sensible and healthy. One podcast I listened to about it (Ologies with Allie Ward) the doctor being interviewed said that in his opinion, if you're spending more than an hour a day thinking/worrying about things like this, that is probably the point at which you should consider whether it's taking over and needs medical advice.

brilliant and thoughtful post, Bertie.

I would also like to see less cavalier use of the actual term 'choking' on here and anywhere else. Loads of posters talking about their children 'choking' on something and then go on to describe what sounds much more like gagging. Some kids (and adults, my husband's one) have very strong gag reflexes, but in any case, gagging is not choking. Choking, true choking, is when something completely blocks the windpipe. Gagging on something because it was a bit of a mouthful, or they were gobbling and it went too fast, isn't remotely the same thing. It might look dramatic but it's not the same life-or-death situation.

I think perhaps all parents should do a compulsory resuscitation course. Not because children are falling like ninepins through the unwise consumption of uncutted-up pear berries and tomatoes, but so parents feel more prepared and able to deal with what is an extremely rare event.

Original poster

Housemovehopeful2024 · 01/04/2026 12:12

Mrscharlieeeee · 01/04/2026 10:06

I think you’re being ridiculous, sorry. She’s 7! Completely understandable with a toddler or young child but 7? She’s your first isn’t she?

Yes, how did you tell‽ 😬

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Original poster

Housemovehopeful2024 · 01/04/2026 12:20

I’m sorry you’re missing out on your grandchildren because of this. Is it to prove a point that they can’t manage without you? I agree that parents shouldn’t be too prescriptive and part of the “fun” of being a grandparent is that you don’t need to deal with the consequences of never saying no, showering with gifts or the sugar highs, but equally, it is the parents who should call the shots. The rules really must be quite strict to go no-contact with your grandkids. Sorry this was for @Altefrau

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littleorangefox · 01/04/2026 12:22

Happytaytos · 01/04/2026 10:14

If your 6yo can't be trusted to bite popcorn you have a problem. Educate your children rather than wrapping them in cotton wool. Risks are tiny, and even smaller if the children are taught (when appropriate) how to chew properly.

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Lol no worries. Last year my 6 year olds were 5. But even still with a bit of research you will find that popcorn is highly discouraged at this age due to aspiration and choking risk, even "tiny", not because children cannot bite. I don't need to educate my children and I won't be changing how I do things based on the opinions of strangers on the Internet who clearly cannot read my comment properly anyway.

Original poster

Housemovehopeful2024 · 01/04/2026 12:24

napody · 01/04/2026 07:13

Is your mum looking after her for you? That's massively relevant to how much you should micromanage.

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Yes albeit entirely on her terms - she asks to do it and prompts me if she hasn’t had her to stay for a while. I have childcare options other than her, so I don’t lean on her heavily.

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napody · 01/04/2026 12:46

Housemovehopeful2024 · 01/04/2026 12:24

Yes albeit entirely on her terms - she asks to do it and prompts me if she hasn’t had her to stay for a while. I have childcare options other than her, so I don’t lean on her heavily.

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You can bring the mini eggs up with her, of course. And as pps have suggested it's time to work past it yourself- she's old enough to remember to bite her food! But do keep in mind that you are very very lucky, both for childcare and having a loving grandma for your daughter.

Original poster

Housemovehopeful2024 · 01/04/2026 13:09

napody · 01/04/2026 12:46

You can bring the mini eggs up with her, of course. And as pps have suggested it's time to work past it yourself- she's old enough to remember to bite her food! But do keep in mind that you are very very lucky, both for childcare and having a loving grandma for your daughter.

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Yes indeed and I certainly don’t take that for granted.

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Brightonkebab · 01/04/2026 14:00

Gall10 · 31/03/2026 22:06

People can choke at any age….should all solid food be banned and everyone exist on a liquid diet?

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Going by some of the comments, I'm surprised people don't chew food for their kids...

OneBadKitty · 01/04/2026 16:19

People actually teach children to chew?
🤔

BeanQuisine · 01/04/2026 16:36

Posters are saying the OP might be a bit batshit but frankly, I'd be more concerned about her mother. It does seem to be a rare case of mini egg mania.

It's as if an inner voice is telling her:

"My granddaughter must have mini eggs."
"My granddaughter must have mini eggs."
"My granddaughter must have mini eggs."
"My granddaughter must have mini eggs."

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 01/04/2026 17:52

OneBadKitty · 01/04/2026 16:19

People actually teach children to chew?
🤔

I'm not teaching him to chew, more making it fun and memorable to take "biiiiiiiig bites" and to sit down for snack time, one at a time etc (at 2.5).

He obviously understands the process of moving his jaws. It just makes more sense for him to be reminded/socialised than not. Same with the billion and one other things we make silly and fun to help children learn.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/04/2026 18:01

Housemovehopeful2024 · 31/03/2026 21:45

Ah this is helpful. It looks as though I am being unreasonable. It seems most people think it’s because mini eggs should be allowed by age 7 and therefore it’s reasonable for my mum to disregard what I’ve asked?

Two separate issues here, @Housemovehopeful2024. Firstly, yes, mini eggs should be safe for a 7 year old. But no, your mum shouldn’t just ignore what you are saying, so you aren’t entirely unreasonable.

If your mum thinks mini eggs are safe, she could have talked to you about it - or she could have shown you the guidance on the packet (that they aren’t for under 4s) - and either you would have accepted that the mini eggs wouldn't pose a danger to your child, or you would have said you still didn’t want her to have them. Either way, she should probably have respected your wishes.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/04/2026 18:07

Housemovehopeful2024 · 01/04/2026 12:12

Yes, how did you tell‽ 😬

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I remember when ds1 was about 18 months old, and was having sandwiches for his lunch - I used to religiously cut them up into squares less than a centimetre in size, just to be on the safe side. One day, we were in an Italian restaurant, for a meal, and I tore up some garlic bread into tiny bits for him, and he looked at them, reached over the high chair tray, grabbed a whole slice of garlic bread and chowed down.

I realised I’d been a bit precious, and stopped cutting his sandwiches into teeny tiny bits.

I think that, especially as first time mothers, we are programmed to be very cautious and risk-averse, and a lot of the time, that can be a good thing, but it does tip over into daftness sometimes.

Whatinthedoopla · 01/04/2026 18:59

I would tell her in person that you disagree with your child having them as they are a choking hazard.

Then send her a text message to say that anything shaped like a little egg or ball the size of ... Can kill your child, I have asked you many times to stop.

Then proceed to tell your mum that you have sent that message, to ensure that if anything ever happens to your child due to a an egg or round small choking hazard, the police will investigate, see the message, and she will be done for murder. And you have the evidence to prove it

Glitchymn1 · 01/04/2026 19:03

Lmnop22 · 31/03/2026 21:38

People with teeth can choke, hope this helps

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It’s unlikely though, isn’t it. Mini eggs are ok for over 4’s. Unless there’s an issue with choking in general, I personally wouldn’t mind.

However your DM should respect your wishes whatever they are.

2boyzNosleep · 01/04/2026 19:11

Heynow87 · 01/04/2026 08:32

A bizarre take! My DD 7 is very prone to choking to the point of vomiting and is not fussy at all, will eat dishes from all around the world and will eat spice, all fruit and veg. Also eats every meal at the table 🤔

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It is not normal for anyone of any age to be "prone to choking". Choking or gagging?

They are 2 very different things, if she is actually choking then she needs medical attention every time it happens.

If she is gagging this much as a 7 yr old, it still sounds like she needs a SALT assessment. She MIGHT have a unsafe swallow. Or an oversensitive gag reflex which means that you may need to introduce foods in their normal form (not cut small) for her to get used to them- similar to babies that were weaned on purees for too long and gag on a mushy lump.

TheGoldenOwl · 01/04/2026 19:18

Does she not chew her food?

You're being OTT. She could choke on a piece of baguette, a crisp, a jelly baby, an olive, a piece of apple, a grape, a nut, a bit of pasta, a piece of cucumber, a cube of cheese....

Twinmum0822 · 01/04/2026 19:22

I would like to think at 7 she should be able to responsibly eat mini eggs. So with that I think you could relax a little. But regardless, your mum has ignored your requests, which is not ok.

PC7102 · 01/04/2026 19:34

I have a 5 year old so slightly younger but I don’t like him to have mini eggs, smarties, lollipops or anything like that and I can’t see myself being ok with it when he’s 7 either. I would be fuming if my mum gave them to him when I’ve said not to

ChoosingMyOwnRandomUsername · 01/04/2026 19:45

AlteFrau · 01/04/2026 08:22

I have currently opted not to see my grandchildren because of the incredibly prescriptive set of rules that was being put in operation.

Things like car seats, supervision around proximity to traffic, avoiding any foods that might avoid allergic reactions are all absolutely fine. But there just needs to be a little a bit of flexibility, for grandparents who are freely giving their time to provide regular care and support.

If parents want their minute rules to be followed every minute of the day, then they should employ a nanny/find a nursery or childminder that is willing to follow their set of protocols.

Talk about an own goal.

By the time you get over your tantrum you'll have ensured your dc NEVER leaves the gc with you again, even if you deign to see them. And you'll have turned your own grandkids into polite strangers.

It probably won't feel worth it in 20 years. The only person who's likely to lose in this is you.

Emeraldforest · 01/04/2026 20:28

You get to decide if she can't have them.I never gave it a thought for my children or grandchildren and have never been requested not to give them.None of them have liked the Cadburys ones but have had other little eggs, which are not so hard so less likely to cause choking?

beautifuldaytosavelives · 01/04/2026 20:45

She’s probably ignoring you with you being a bit ridiculous

Original poster

Housemovehopeful2024 · 01/04/2026 20:49

Whatinthedoopla · 01/04/2026 18:59

I would tell her in person that you disagree with your child having them as they are a choking hazard.

Then send her a text message to say that anything shaped like a little egg or ball the size of ... Can kill your child, I have asked you many times to stop.

Then proceed to tell your mum that you have sent that message, to ensure that if anything ever happens to your child due to a an egg or round small choking hazard, the police will investigate, see the message, and she will be done for murder. And you have the evidence to prove it

Gosh, this is certainly the nuclear option! I can’t see it would be murder though as it would be difficult to show the mens rea.

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Lmnop22 · 01/04/2026 21:07

Glitchymn1 · 01/04/2026 19:03

It’s unlikely though, isn’t it. Mini eggs are ok for over 4’s. Unless there’s an issue with choking in general, I personally wouldn’t mind.

However your DM should respect your wishes whatever they are.

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She’s only 6, I would say it’s fine to remain cautious when they still quite little even if 4 is technically the cut off point!