AIBU - mini eggs and mum

[Housemovehopeful2024]

My daughter is almost 7. I am not a fan of her having mini eggs due to the risk of choking (not precious about other chocolate or sweets - it’s just the risk of choking I’m worried about). I have told my mum this but despite that and reminding her, she seems to repeatedly give them to her. One week it’ll be a chocolate yogurt with mini eggs, the next week mini egg cakes (only one egg per cake so perhaps less of an issue?) or a small egg with mini eggs in. This week, they made Easter cakes with the smarties equivalent of mini eggs (still the same size and shape). AIBU to be irked by this or am I being too precious?

YABU - stop being so pernickety
YANBU - mini eggs are a hazard and in any event she should listen to your wishes

This!!

They are the one sweet that I thought I had an irrational dislike of - I now know it’s not irrational. Yes, I can see how dangerous they could be.

YABU about mini eggs
YANBU about your mum respecting your wishes.
I’d be more concerned about the amount of sweet treats being given in general.

I mean, essentially any and all food is a choking hazard. Except soup, maybe.

Yes. Incidences of choking are just as high with 7 year olds, who by that age often eat more, with less monitoring or cutting.

Im wondering if she’s doing it on purpose. My kids eat all kinds of treats throughout the year and haven’t had mini eggs for a year. I’m wondering how it’s come about your mum has given them to her so frequently especially as you’ve specifically said not to.

Putting anything round in yoghurt is ridiculous. It’s what you’d do if you wanted someone to choke.

But you’re right OP, it’s not just about the small circular foods, it’s about not listening to your safety rules. She sounds extremely entitled. There are a million other options out there she could give to your child, she’s clearly making a point and I wouldn’t have it.

I've got a 7 year old and I'm fine with her eating mini eggs. She knows to crunch them and eats when sitting down and concentrating.

But if you told your mum no to a certain food then she should abide by it.

But surely you can see that the overall risk of choking on any of these food items is really, really low?

I do worry a lot about the ability of people nowadays to assess relative risks rationally. We obviously focus on the horror stories and social media means these circulate like wildfire (not all of them true, either) along with 'helpful' graphics showing all the foods you must never, ever give your child. (this is just an example - I'm not sure there's an aspect of child-raising or being pregnant that isn't now over-thought and catastrophised about).

Look - life is unpredictable. You can make it a bit more predictable by curtailing perfectly normal freedoms and activities - no trampoline, no cycling, no going out alone with friends, no mini eggs - but where will you draw the line? You need to address the underlying reason for curtailing these normal things, and it isn't the fact that all of these things are out to kill your children. It's the massively risk-adverse mindset.

I don't think your necessarily being unreasonable. All mothers have different things they worry about. When do you think your daughter will be able to manage them though? 7 should be fine, but maybe rather than banning them give your daughter some good guidelines for eating them. As pp has mentioned she may get them from someone else.

I have currently opted not to see my grandchildren because of the incredibly prescriptive set of rules that was being put in operation.

Things like car seats, supervision around proximity to traffic, avoiding any foods that might avoid allergic reactions are all absolutely fine. But there just needs to be a little a bit of flexibility, for grandparents who are freely giving their time to provide regular care and support.

If parents want their minute rules to be followed every minute of the day, then they should employ a nanny/find a nursery or childminder that is willing to follow their set of protocols.

YABU about mini eggs for a 7-year old and your mother is BU for ignoring your wishes, given all the other types of sweet and chocolate you apparently don’t have a problem with that she could offer your dd instead, which are a safer shape. I’m sure your mother will manage to find an inappropriate alternative, though! 🤣 Imvho, sweets designed to be sucked are more dangerous than mini eggs for both choking and dental health, so count yourself lucky your mother doesn’t keep giving her Werther’s Originals.

I don’t think it’s a hill to die on if your Mum loves and cares for your daughter and is otherwise respecting you.

Easters almost over! You’re safe for another year.

Never heard of a 7 year old choking on chocolate mini eggs.

Can you evidence that?

Yes, you have a point there. I think a liquid diet delivered by IV is probably the only way to go really.

(Although overall, to be so risk averse that you count the risk of a 7-year old choking to death on a mini eggs as significant enough to deprive your 7-year old of them is, imvho, massively OTT and unlikely to teach your DD how to assess life’s multiple risks sensibly).

Mini eggs are actually terribly designed in terms of choking risk. There are lots of posters who are blasé about this but it’s one of the things I’m still conscious of with older primary children. If they eat them, I want them sitting down and concentrating not walking around or playing. I’m the same with things like sweet lollies. I wouldn’t ban them at 7 personally but I think they do need a bit of care and your mum is unreasonable to ignore you.

A bizarre take! My DD 7 is very prone to choking to the point of vomiting and is not fussy at all, will eat dishes from all around the world and will eat spice, all fruit and veg. Also eats every meal at the table 🤔

So, provided grandma doesn’t let her eat her mini eggs yoghurt while simultaneously skipping or singing, all’s fine. 🤣

Yanbu to ask your mum to follow your preferences.

However, 7 should be fine to eat mini eggs unless they’re stuffing them in without chewing. It’s really until 4 or 5 there’s a higher risk.

You would cut contact with your grandchildren because your children have a few rules in place? That's awful.

Yes. Mini eggs should actually be designed to be shaped as ... not sure. Long thin strands maybe? Small gravel-sized irregular nuggets run through with tiny holes that afford ingress of oxygen?

Wouldn't you rather just ban them, the wicked things they are, shaped just like little eggs?

Depends on the rules probably.

But by constantly reducing or removing risks you aren't teaching your child how to navigate them?

Beyond about age 3, the focus should be on teaching children the importance of chewing food - provided the child is developmentally normal.

Otherwise you end up with 10 year olds at risk of choking because mummy always cuts up their food so they just assume everything is easy to eat, and other adults quite rightly assume 10 year olds are capable of chewing properly and don't need monitoring. You put your child more at risk by not teaching them how to navigate these hazards.

It raises a question about those kids (and people) who eat quite a highly processed diet, where things are designed to be easy to get down without much mastication, have led to more choking in adults and children, given people arent used to chewing

I dont know if that is born out by stats though or how that would be measured.

The people most at risk of choking are the elderly and no, to answer a poster above, a 7 year old is not 'just as at risk' as younger children. Younger children are more at risk than 7 year olds.

At what age are humans able to safely eat round foods?

I only think of very young children as being at risk- age 3 and under...?