AIBU to discourage uni for daughter, I'm worried about debt without career plan?

[HappyLemonChickenCurry]

My eldest child is starting to think about her next move after 6th form and is talking about university, I went to uni in the 90's when financing was very different. She is academic and wants to go because she loves learning, but won't be studying a degree subject with a specific career goal or profession in mind. I am finding myself discouraging her because of the debt she will come out with and from what I hear about finding work after a degree, but am I wrong? Is the debt worth it for the formative experience? I would be really interested to hear experiences from those whose children have recently graduated, or peoples thoughts in general. It feel so counter-intuitive to be discouraging!

That’s fair although for law and engineering I would b prepared to bet that students with a degree are going to get the better jobs/apprenticeships.

But they are by definition vocational so they work well for a student who is focused on getting into a specific field.

The whole point about university is that it enables learning for its own sake.

I know that a lot of people have come to regard this as decadent these days but you still need some people to study subjects in order to further the field of knowledge as opposed to doing it just to get a job.

She can try to get a part time job to make up any shortfall.

She may not use her degree for a particular career now but it may be of use later. And it will be easier for her to study now than when she is older and a has a million other commitments of adult life.

What about a DD who does NOT enjoy school/learning. Should she be encouraged to go to uni as well? Also not sure what work she wants to go. Plus, few jobs. She'd love to ho to uni for the experience/social development.

I agree with this..

And graduate with a 2.2 or worse?

If she doesn't enjoy it and doesn't want to do it, then she will most likely incur a debt and poor grades to show for it.

Look into other options. Maybe something practical alongside a bit of learning or taking a gap year and working. Just so she can have time to think about what appeals to her.

Formal education isnt the right route for everyone. £30-60k debt is huge just for experience.

I graduated in 2019. My degree wasn’t worth the paper it was written on. I got a job in a call centre to have something on my cv, then admin, then finance admin, now a chartered accountant. I could’ve done that all from leaving school at 18, but why the rush? I had a fab time at uni, lived away in a different city, made friends for life, dossed about, drank too much, had the time of my life! It was a great three years - she had the rest of her life to work! Yes, I have student debt but it just comes out a small portion each month and gets written off after 30 years - I couldn’t tell you how much I “owe” because I never bother to check

What did you study?

I did my degree around 10 years ago now and the uni experience really benefitted me in terms of growing up and living away from home and the general friendship experience (even though I hated it for the first few weeks!).

I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my career but also liked learning so I picked something that I felt could be applied to a variety of careers (business and economics).

I did end up luckily on a grad scheme and have had a pretty good career since.

However - I left uni with 35k of debt which despite payments (which I started paying straight away due to salary being high enough) is now around 55k. I earn approx 70k + bonuses and only started making the balance decline last year with my monthly payments. The payments are about £260 a month now. On bonus months they take over £1200. I realise it’s a privileged position to me in but when I was at uni I definitely didn’t consider that this would be how much I would be paying (or earning tbf).

Looking back I don’t regret it, but I would have wanted myself to also consider apprenticeships as I think I could be in the same position now with no debt or monthly payments. However my husband doesn’t have a degree and this, despite a lot of experience, does sometimes put barriers up for jobs. So it’s a balance but I think being informed about the reality of the repayments is key when deciding what is right for you.

I actively encouraged my DC to go to university. I’m a massive fan of education and it’s value for life.

My DS did a degree on a subject he loved and really enjoyed uni. He now has a job unrelated to his degree but everyone in his department is educated to degree level. His employer has paid for him to do a Masters in the area he now works in. His degree has enabled him to get a good job and to progress.

The skills learned through completing a degree are absolutely transferable. I view the subject as just something to hang everything else onto.

I think YANBU. Plenty of time to study part-time whilst working later on. I wouldn't go to uni now unless it was for a specific profession. The main things that count for the world of work are social skills, work ethic and being able to play the corporate game.

University is not just about a career. Graduates have, on average, more positive outcomes in many areas, for example health, life expectancy. think it is because studying for a degree teaches so many soft skills such as resilience, confidence, critical thinking, ability to learn complex material, problem solving, communication.

She is academic and wants to go because she loves learning,

That's what university is for! And the ability to learn, and hopefully create, new knowledge will be proof against AI.

YABveryU. Very unreasonable.

But what is the point of posting when the whole thread is about the cost of student loans and you admit that you don't know how they work!

Did you mean to be so rude? I'm presuming so.

So let me get this straight? You'll support your YP through university but only on your terms. Only if you seem it to be a worthy degree choice (and I'm guessing) a worthy establishment? If that's not the case it's definitely how your posts are coming across. Maybe you are struggling to articulate yourself.

However, if you are the decision maker/guider/coercive/controlling parent, Gosh, who made you the oracle of all things uni? What are your qualifications to be making such decisions on behalf of your YP? I feel terribly sorry for your adult children to have such a controlling parent. I'll support you but only if I deem your choices suitable. Do you allow any negotiations or is your foot firmly down?

If you don’t want a rude response, don’t try to tell a poster her children will hate her, especially when you haven’t read what I have written properly at all. I literally used the word negotiation, and you’re being so bold to try to personally insult me?

Let me try again because you seem to be struggling. I said I would not blindly support my children. I said I expect them to have a plan. I said that I expect it to be a discussion. Do you really think any of that is unreasonable on something that costs £80,000+ in some of their most formative years?

My children have the benefit of having well educated, financially comfortable, experienced adults for parents. We will utilise those attributes together to ensure a mindful route is taken. I do not expect them to do what I would pick for them to do, but I do expect them to give the whole thing their full consideration, looking at all the options. If uni is the route that is chosen I expect careful consideration is given to the course, the uni, and the long term potential of the degree itself, which is where the discussion comes in. Look at how many graduates today are complaining about “not understanding this” and “not knowing that”. That will not be my children, at least not on the reasonable knowns such as understanding student loans.

Honestly I'm similar to PP. I wouldn't let my child just study whatever at some random uni. DH and I are both masters educated in engineering and have knowledge of how the world works.

I wouldn't let them waste 3 years doing social work at hull. Do an employable degree.

I have an Economist DC from LSE and another engineer from Imperial.

You make a sensible reasonable response

A clinical psychologist post requires a doctorate and a solicitor also requires post graduate work/further exams - a degree isn’t sufficient for either.

psychology is very varied but look into the career path - working as a clinical psychologist requires a lot of extra training and highly likely to involved a masters and some unpaid voluntary work before a doctorate and while there are jumping off points, your income is more limited. If she wants to work in academia, it requires a phd so again lots of unpaid/low paid time. I’m absolutely in favour of higher education when the young person wants it and I would make sacrifices to support my children in doing so - however, thinking through what the end point is would be useful. Wishing her best of luck with her decision.

Statistically, even if she chooses to go to university and never actually use that degree, she will, over the course of her career, earn more money.

This is her decision, it will be her “debt” and nobody should let the current noise about student loans put them off.

I’m in the same position with my dd. All I’ve done is talk her through everything so she understands the consequences of decisions. I refused to tell her what I thought so I didn’t influence her decision.

Apparently there are people here who've had long corporate careers but are out earned by the plumber they hired

Making sure they understand the implications of the funding model for university is totally different from insisting they have a plan for their lives. At this age they may not even have a good grasp of what type of job they want to end up in, but have a love of a particular subject.

My child also has educated and knowledgeable parents. We played no part in my daughter’s decision on her uni course other than accompanying her to open days that she chose. She first wanted to study medicine but not be a doctor. She has changed her mind for personal and sensible reasons. These reasons are the ones that were in my head as to why she shouldn’t study medicine but I never pointed them out to her, she came to her own conclusion. Instead she has chosen to study anatomical sciences. She doesn’t know what she wants to do with it but she knows she wants her career to be involved with it. She may decide to continue and study medicine later, or, she would also love to be a journalist, she doesn’t know. If she goes to university she will have time to figure that out, in an environment where other people who share the same interests will bring a different perspective to her life. She can grow and mature and formulate her plan. If she left school now and went into the world of work with “a plan” she would be far more pigeonholed into what her life will be. I would never insist a teenager has a plan. It’s far too young to be looking so far forward. If it turns out her decision isn’t the best one in the long run, we are confident enough in how we’ve raised her that she will find her way and we will support her in whatever way she needs to do that.

She is aware of the financial implications, and has done a whole load of research in to it. Despite the noise in the press about it, there aren’t millions of students on the breadline because of student loan repayments. Most of the reporting I see is from students who are higher rate taxpayers, and those insisting it just isn’t fair rather than any issue with affordability.

Do they know what the word “statistically” means?