AIBU to resent friend on UC living better than us?

[Sunshineandrainbows123]

I know I am being unreasonable but just need to rant and I’m aware that perception is different to reality. I’ve worked hard all my life, since I was 14, paid my way through uni to get a decent qualification and job at the end of it all. I bought a house with my partner but as with so many of us I feel like I can’t rub 2 pennies together. Meanwhile a close friend claims universal benefits, has minimum 4 holidays a year, 2-3 abroad, gets regular beauty treatments, a new car and is able to regularly take her children to the cinema, days out and buy them new clothes, trainers and toys. I feel like I took the wrong path sometimes - she doesn’t have to pay rent for the home they live in, or school lunches for her kids, there are so many discounts and opportunities afforded to those on UC that working families don’t get. I don’t know if it’s better to distance myself. I know I need to probably give my head a wobble.

It's just a statement of fact. I'm not attaching any judgement or morality to it. But it is true and it's incorrect to pretend anything else.

I really have had enough. I'm not thick. Please leave me alone. Go away with your insults

People can misread something. It doesn't make them thick - which is a nasty insult in itself.

Social workers can't remove children only judges can it would of had to go through court

Interesting that you feel the need to hammer it home.

YANBU. If she’s not entitled to it or you think she’s on the fiddle then report her to DWP. Otherwise, not much you can do. The system is a joke nowadays.

Pin this comment at the top of every ignorant, bitter, benefits bashing, innumerate thread EVER.
Probably won't shut up the Daily Fail types but hey. At least they'll be shown up for the paucity of both their arguments and their mentality.

Does she claim any disability for her or her children if so that could be the extra

Well I'm on UC,and I certainly can't afford 4 holidays a year. The last time I went on holiday was in 2021,a week in Eastbourne! I can't afford to run a car let alone buy one,and as for beauty treatments,the last time I had anything like that,I had my nails and eyebrows done for a friend's wedding,4 years ago. My DD cuts my hair for me every 4 months. Don't get me wrong,I'm not complaining,I am grateful for what I get,and compared to some people around the world,I am relatively well off,in that I have a roof over my and decent clothes to wear. I can afford to heat my home in cold weather and don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from. But believe me,I am certainly not living a life of luxury,as some people seem to think is achievable on UC.

It was nothing he actually done it was just a case of waiting and phoning every few weeks asking for an update!

This. With rent being paid, other subsidies, premiums for different circumstances, and maybe a leased Motability car (if anyone is disabled) then it can whack up the amounts received.

But, governments change, policies change, and it’s an insecure way to live.

The OP hasn't said whether her friend is working or not

@ForWittyTealOP

Ive slept on this before my reply. I lost my temper as you are deliberately mis representing what myself and people are actually saying. I apologise for my outburst

You have very carefully been extremely unpleasant to me and quite a few on this thread. I literally said the vast minority yet you chose to again attack me for your wrong perception that I’m am accusing people on benefits of fraud. I’ll repeat, if you think ALL people on benefits are honest, that is delusional. I repeat the small minority ruin it for the majority. Benefit fraud is real, the fact that the press (not me) chose to attack the most vulnerable in our society is awful but the fraudsters open the doors for that

do I believe Mabel, single Mum to 2 kids, struggling to heat their house, shouldn’t earn a bit of cash on the side to buy her kid a birthday present, actually no, I have no issue with this, it’s a Mum desperately trying to do her very best for her child. I’ve donated toys to our food bank for them to hand out for parents in this awful position. I’ve donated clothes. We buy extra food at the supermarket. We buy extra pet food when we buy our dogs food. I buy rescue dogs toys (our Pets at Home runs a scheme)

i shouldn’t have to explain myself but as you seem intent on your view that I’m an awful person (accusing me of being a person who supports the reduction in the mobility scheme) I will

You probably won’t bother to read this as it doesn’t fit your narrative but I’ll type it out anyway

I believe the current way rent is paid is abhorrent. To cap it at local authority housing rent is a disgrace. This ridiculous way of doing it is pushing people into severe hardship as private rents are way higher. There is no where near enough local authority (housing ass) property for need

Ive taken homeless people to shelters and paid for their bed for the night. I’ve volunteered on soup kitchens and given benefit advice for free as a volunteer.

I’ve helped friends that have been turned down for pip reapply and taken them through to tribunal

I took early retirement to become an unpaid full time carer for my disabled elderly parents, choosing long term reduction in my income tonkerp them together in their home

We donate 10% of our income to charity. We aren’t religious, we do it because we believe it’s the right thing to do. Consequently we can’t afford hotel holidays either in the UK or abroad, we have a week camping, self catering, once a year. We are more than happy with this. We had a big holiday last year as we didn’t pay for it, it was gifted to us as part of an inheritance (we did not get a penny in cash)

We volunteer in youth organisations as we both believe in young people being by our future and want to invest in them

I do rda, as a volunteer and fund raiser

I understand how mobility works, I said my friend deserves a car but the luxury cars come with massive down payments (that is dead money). I don’t know how people can afford those - doesn’t mean I’m against it! The payments can run to thousands. I know they are not given out for free. I know pip (or in some cases dla) pays the monthly lease, it’s not free. Do I agree with the changes no. Do I think disabled people should be able to go abroad with their cars, yes! As I understand how mobility works I understand why it’s higher spec cars. I have no issue with mobility

I did not vote for the previous gvt because they openly said they would target disability benefits. I will never vote Labour due to what they have done and are threatening to do to disabled people. I literally said I believe in benefits - I think we should and must support those that need help

To put up with your repeated misrepresentation is hurtful. You are attacking the wrong people. The press drives the narrative, not me. I’m not voting in a party that wants to make an already dehumanising process with exceptionally low amounts of fraud (ie Pip) more difficult.

Just because I’m aware that benefit fraud exists and do not agree with it does not make me a horrid person - attack the fraudsters, attack the press. Do not attack those that are trying to support our vulnerable. And supporting them means rooting out fraud so there is the money to continue support. If we allow fraud to go unchecked then the pit of money to go round is reduced. Like it or not, the pot can only be so big so it’s imperative it’s protected for those that need it

So please wind your neck in and stop being so unpleasant. I am not the enemy and do not appreciate your vitriol

Benefit fraud runs at around 2.2 per cent of all benefits spending. Uc figures as a stand alone are higher but that's because of covid and checks weren't able to be done which is why claimants are having their bank accounts checked now.

I've just skim read your very long post. I'm sorry you don't like my opinion although that doesn't mean I'm not entitled to express it. I don't feel I've been rude.

I think if you're getting this upset and angry at an internet stranger, it's your responsibility to step back and not heap your feelings on others. As such I won't be responding to any more of your haranguement. Hopefully today is a better day.

I think what you have written is fair and I think everyone will agree that there is a small percentage of people who commit benefit fraud. There are wronguns in every walk of life. I think the reason people get so defensive is because of how the media portrays these things makes people who have no dealings or knowledge of the system thinking its a bigger more widespread issue then it is. Then everytime a thread is posted on here or any platform usually daily all of sudden everyone knows their neighbours full medical and financial situation. People seem to forget we all pay into a system that anyone of us may need one day people think they won't suddenly become severely disabled or lose their job its a safety net for us all. People on benefits for whatever reason whether its disability or a top up for their wages shouldn't have to repeatedly justify it. Because unknown user3172 friends sisters uncle neighbour claims benefits and theres nothing wrong with him. People can look on line to see how much people get in benefits and see how low that amount is but they choose not to and instead like to make out people getting benefits are having 3/4 holidays a year and are driving around in brand new cars to go get their nails and brows done. People need to realise that 99.9% of people are claiming benefits legitimately and are barely scraping by so to stop attacking some of the most vulnerable people in society based on things they have read online.

Cars may be leased? Might change the picture a little. Still hundreds a month but the full cost of a new car.

I personally don't know why if people think that other people are committing benefits fraud - then why don't they report people they think are committing it. It's impossible to have it both ways - either fraud is a big deal - or it's not.

Agreed x

Interesting you are expressing a ‘different opinion’ without actually reading what I wrote. You admit you’ve not read properly yet draw conclusion's. I think we can both agree to walk away but I actually think, unless you agree fraud is ok, that we probably agree on most points so why the arguing is a bit strange!

Rubbish. You’re a shitty friend, to be honest. Get your head in your own business and stay away from anyone else’s. Do you read the mail or express and believe ‘benefit scrounger’ headlines.? You’re poisoning yourself with this rubbish instead of focussing on your own healthy family and your own career and positives.

I’m on universal credit disability type and working 15 hours a week and I wish I was well enough to actually use these discounts and go to these places 😂 in the last 6 years I’ve gone to two places a year apart and used my ‘disability discount’ 😂 all the rest of the time I’m either at work, bed or at the drs/hospital 😂

However UC will increase by approximately
6.2% from April 6, 2026. This above-inflation rise includes a 3.8% inflation-linked hike plus an additional 2.3% boost. For example, single claimants over 25 will see their monthly standard allowance rise from £400.14 to £424.90, while couples over 25 will receive £666.97, up from £628.10.

The rise is far more than those in work are getting and don’t forget this is just the basic UC component! Then the 2 child benefit cap is being lifted From April 6, 2026, a family with four children could be better off by approximately £607.88 per month (£7,294.56 per year) because of the removal of the two-child limit.

Then there is the LHA which is payable to those on low incomes not working. Obviously this varies depending on where a family live for example Ashford in Kent it’s capped at £1,100 per month.

So a family of 4 with neither parent working have an income of £35592 free of tax and national insurance! Meanwhile someone working full time on the same amount is subject to tax and national insurance!

By your reaction OP has clearly touched a nerve

There probably is more to it! However, don’t forget you are paying tax and NI on what you earn which someone in UC doesn’t yet will still be entitled to a full state pension!

Im on uc and pay tax and ni on my wages. What are you talking about