AIBU to resent friend on UC living better than us?

[Sunshineandrainbows123]

I know I am being unreasonable but just need to rant and I’m aware that perception is different to reality. I’ve worked hard all my life, since I was 14, paid my way through uni to get a decent qualification and job at the end of it all. I bought a house with my partner but as with so many of us I feel like I can’t rub 2 pennies together. Meanwhile a close friend claims universal benefits, has minimum 4 holidays a year, 2-3 abroad, gets regular beauty treatments, a new car and is able to regularly take her children to the cinema, days out and buy them new clothes, trainers and toys. I feel like I took the wrong path sometimes - she doesn’t have to pay rent for the home they live in, or school lunches for her kids, there are so many discounts and opportunities afforded to those on UC that working families don’t get. I don’t know if it’s better to distance myself. I know I need to probably give my head a wobble.

you do know you’re talking crap, don’t you?

I'm on universal credit and I don't have anywhere near those things you describe. Is she telling you the truth, exaggerating or bending the truth somewhere?

Of course you’re not, but this never happens remember!

You're talking crap and you know it

Thank you

Jealousy is so cringe

I’m guessing there must be more to it, more help or borrowing than she lets on. She’s never said it’s all covered by her UC which is why I said i think the perception is probably different to the reality

Completely agree

I don't understand how there are so many who are apparently living the high life on benefits when everyone I know on UC. Thinking of about 10 separate people/coupes who vary in life (single mums, couples, disabled children, disabled adults) are counting every penny and in most cases robbing Peter to pay Paul.

I’ve never experienced such luxury on UC lol so no i don’t think it is all possible from that.

The numbers simply don't add up. Come on. We're on 70k plus, no mortgage and can't afford 4 holidays a year. No benefit on earth gives you that much.

Come on. She’s got a new car, goes abroad three times a year and is living the dream in her rent free home not paying for school dinners? She should write a book because the people I know on UC can’t afford to feed themselves adequately.

I've had a brief stint on UC when I had to leave a job on ill health grounds and couldn't work. It's absolutely fucking basic - it would not cover our bills or food, so the idea of 4 holidays a year, beauty treatments and a new car is utter, utter bollocks.

We massively struggled. I've googled it for you, OP. She lives on £693 a month for herself and two children - that's to pay her bills and food. Not sure that she's living the high life on that, but hey.

Sounds like she’s on it fraudulently to be honest. Benefits really don’t afford this wonderful lifestyle the tabloids like to make out. I would presume she’s getting income from elsewhere - family members pay for the kids clothes or days out, give regular cash ‘gifts’, maybe she does some cash in hand work.

My SIL is on it fraudulently as she does a job which pays cash in hand. She also gets a motability car and blue badge. These aren’t fraudulent exactly (she has a diagnosed MH disorder) but she almost certainly lied/exaggerated on the forms. She does not need them.

Whilst I agree it’s frustrating I’d also say remember UC can be taken away at any time. When my MIL died, my (other) SIL had to do financial gymnastics to ensure that her inheritance wouldn’t end her UC. So essentially the message is “hey youve just had a shit family death and now we’re not even going to allow you to enjoy a nice holiday/some renovations with the inheritance.” I didnt lose my wages when I got inheritance, why should someone lose UC? It also incentivises hiding/spending money rather than saving responsibly and gradually building up a better lifestyle.

Basically I’d be glad to be you and not her. Youre living an honest life of your own making,

The only ways this is plausible is if she receives enormous child maintenence payments as this isn't taken into account.

You are master of your own ship @Sunshineandrainbows123 people on benefits are at the mercy of whatever a government decides each budget.

So whilst you may feel you have less you don’t not really.

I was talking to my DH yesterday about our nieces. Both work and have husbands who work full time.
One claims universal credit and gets 80% of her nursery fees reimbursed, help towards her rent and other benefits. She works part time and has a lovely car, holidays abroad.
The other works full time in a role she studied hard for, gets no help by way of benefits. But she also has a nice car and holidays abroad and a mortgage.
I suppose in the long term the one who works full time will have a good pension in place and will own her home (with her DH) mortgage free eventually.
They are both enjoying their lives and their children are a lovely lot.

Yeah it must be help coming from somewhere else. By holidays I mean a week away somewhere in europe, a UK staycation and then maybe 1-2 long weekends/trips away.

If you really believe that, then why not give up your job and claim UC yourself?

That’s a really lovely way to look at it. It is tough sometimes looking through tunnel vision but zooming out and to see the bigger picture is really helpful

She isn’t achieving this solely on UC. If she’s single and isn’t working then she’s doing something else on the side- Only Fans, escorting, making a business selling things on Vinted. Some sort of side hustle because nobody who only claims UC can afford 4 holidays a year. Also, this thread is perfect daily fail fodder.

Yep. We are living in benefits Britain OP. Hard workers lose out im afraid. Haters gonna hate though so be prepared for a bashing on this thread!! YANBU

So true! Thank you

Wow, did we hop in a time capsule back to 2026? I haven’t heard that term for literal decades, since I was a child.

Even that. Honestly look it up. Posters uptrend have given figures. That and new car and beauty treatments? Can't be done. Period.
Suspect heavy heavy subsidies.
When DS2, who is autistic was out of work we paid any large essential bills. And no way did he live in luxury in spite of that. Fed, phone, clothed and public transport. That was it.