AIBU to resent friend on UC living better than us?

[Sunshineandrainbows123]

I know I am being unreasonable but just need to rant and I’m aware that perception is different to reality. I’ve worked hard all my life, since I was 14, paid my way through uni to get a decent qualification and job at the end of it all. I bought a house with my partner but as with so many of us I feel like I can’t rub 2 pennies together. Meanwhile a close friend claims universal benefits, has minimum 4 holidays a year, 2-3 abroad, gets regular beauty treatments, a new car and is able to regularly take her children to the cinema, days out and buy them new clothes, trainers and toys. I feel like I took the wrong path sometimes - she doesn’t have to pay rent for the home they live in, or school lunches for her kids, there are so many discounts and opportunities afforded to those on UC that working families don’t get. I don’t know if it’s better to distance myself. I know I need to probably give my head a wobble.

@ByBreezyUser excuse me I never said that at all and if I recall you were the one who quite rudely said I was "full of horse shit" if I remember correctly, because you obviously have all the facts and knowledge. I NEVER once said people on UC are like this I said SHE was which would be less than 0.01% of people, but the point I am making is it can happen there are people out there who are very good at playing the system. 99.99% of people on UC will genuinely be struggling to make ends meet which is why it makes me so cross someone can make someone's like so miserable and play the system so well.

And evidence from the school is not sufficient? Presumably they're registered with a GP?
Nope. At best you have hold of the wrong end of the stick here. At best.

@youalright I will be 100% honest I'm not sure I don't think it has I know there are social workers involved so I assume this is who have said that the children need to live with their dad for now? But I'm not 100% on that part.

She's doing a side hustle...? Either serioulsy in debt maxing out credit cards..living la vida loca Or selling gear....

@ForWittyTealOP I wish I did have the wrong end of the stick I really do. There are probably ways and means he could prove it I'm not denying it, but I think there are probably deeper things going on, it's very volatile.

It sounds like a very sad situation.

@KmcK87 can I ask how it got sorted as I'd love to pass it on to him! He's been told he has to prove it and just ringing and saying they are there is not enough.

@ByBreezyUser im really sorry if you took offence. I am not referring to her mental health issues. I have them and totally understand them. I'm referring to her volatile behaviour and threats and being genuinely awful to her ex. To me it is not acceptable to turn up at someones door screaming and shouting, and threatening to slash their car tyres.

I know there are people genuinely on UC and that is the majority of the population, but there are a small few who do abuse the system which is sad.

Also, mobility cars are only accessible if you have the mobility element of PIP, it’s a lease of which the cost gets deducted from your award (which is not a benefit, it’s a real award given to disabled people and not easy to get, also with a 0% fraud rate). Not everyone gets the mobility element. I have mobility issues, evidenced by my Dr’s/hospital staff etc, walk with a stick and I don’t get it 🤣 it’s so hard to qualify for. Say for example you get the basic award of around £290-the adapted lease for the car could cost that, meaning you’d get £0 in your bank. You need the mobility component to get it, so you simply wouldn’t get a mobility car for adhd. So many people replying that have no clue how it works so thought I’d clarify.

@ForWittyTealOP it really is, I worry for the children and their mental health and how it affects them. The only plus side is their dad provides stability for them.

Yes because you didn't give all the information in your first post. I really am done. I honestly can't take anymore. You try being stalked for 15 months to the point where your mum thought you were going to kill yourself and then you come on pages like this to be told youre a chancer

I was told by the dwp that I was fit for work when I was ill with ptsd and for context I was gang stalked by 15 people. And then one of them decided they were going to lie to police to get me arrested. They managed it. Police did nothing for me but I was abused because of the lies he told

It went nowhere. But I was told I was fit for work after my arrest when I was broken. I told three times I was fit for work when I had ptsd. I was told that I was fit to work with a broken shoulder because I only broke one. That's the legislation

I only got disability benefits when I broke my leg and I had to go to tribunal to get them. I can't be bothered being shouted at by people on here. I only got a bit of kindness from the adp assessor - the lcwra assessment is horrible - you're the person that came on here saying how easy it is to get benefits. I suggest you own that and don't go in on me.

I really am done on this thread. How dare people say its easy to game the system. It is not. On any level.

You've just jumped on this post using a horrible situation to say how easy it is to get benefits. It is not

She can't afford that on UC, probably is in a lot of debt

I've not worked in 6 years - and I haven't been on benefits all that time either. My flat had to be sold and I didn't have enough money to buy another so I had to come off benefits.

The reason I don't work just now is because I'm unwell - but the dwp don't see it like that. I was given benefits for my broken leg by the dwp after two appeals and my mental health counts for nothing. So in six weeks time I'm going to have to go back to job searching when I have ptsd and I can hardly function

I hope some people who have said I deserve nothing might reconsider

But whatever. It's all lashes and holidays

Having worked in benefit fraud, I’m anti fraud. It ruins it for the vast majority of genuine claimants. Due to a tiny minority the mobility scheme has been changed. This is not ok

to think ALL benefit claimants are honest is quite frankly delusional

In my experience the only "haters" on threads like these are the ones talking bollocks about people on benefits living the life of Riley.

And saying rubbish like "coming out of OUR taxes" and "it means less money for GENUINE claimants" as if these numpties care three straws for GENUINE claimants. Or acting like they believe that cutting benefits in one direction will funnel more money in another direction either back to them or towards these GENUINE claimants. It won't. We all know it.

Don't jump on a post like this to go me too me too - when you don't have a fucking clue what life is like for some of us. I am fed up of being poor shamed. I am fed up of being disability shamed.

Lashes! I have spent the last 6 years hardly being able to get out of bed because I'm suffering from clinical depression and ptsd but the dwp said I was fit to work. My GP was overruled three times.

Even when I smashed my leg to pieces in an accident and couldn't walk the dwp said I was fit to work - the assessor lied - it was horrible. I broke my tibia. My fibula and my medial. A horrible combination of bones to break. I couldn't walk for 12 weeks but according to the assessor I was jumping around making meals for myself after a week

I am honestly worn out and I can't do this anymore. I can't be on a thread where people are lining up to tell someone like me that I don't deserve benefits

And as for hard working. I worked from the age of 23 to 51

And then when my flat was sold I wasn't on benefits

Local Housing Allowances are never anything close to actual rents. They're capped and are usually about half or even less than half of than the rent you have to pay.
They don't go up with inflation either. So no, her rent will not be covered by that. No one's is.

It's a very tiny percentage of people who aren't. And if you say otherwise you are lying

@ByBreezyUser I never said that it was easy to get, there are people who genuinely know how to play the system who receive all these benefits and they shouldn't. They are the few bad eggs out of other genuine people.

Then there are genuine people who are really struggling who are told they are fit to work or don't get a lot of UC. This is one person I know of, I specifically said it can happen. Not that it always happens or even often.

The system should be fair for all. I wasn't bashing genuine people on UC who genuinely need it. I'm sorry you've had to go through all of that.

Your situation sounds similar to my friends where they believe the abuser so sorry you are going through that. It's not a nice scenario.

But she isn't paying rent, the state is paying it for her. She doesn't work to earn that money.

I doubt anyone is pro fraud. I also doubt that anyone thinks every person is honest. But a tiny minority will only spoil things for everyone else if we can be led to believe that tiny minority is actually sizeable. And it's important to look at who is putting that into mainstream discourse and, of course, why.

I wonder why it is so important for you personally to make that distinction?

No it's not. Thank you

This with bells on!