AIBU to use main bathroom on holiday despite en suite?

[AliceNotInChains]

Last Easter I went away with DH, Sister and BIL. We stayed in an castle apartment.
As I have IBS and other gut issues I insisted on having a bedroom with an en suit for my benefit and everyone else’s. This was fine, DH and I got the room with the little en-suite. On the first night we were watching a film in the living room and I got up to pop to toilet, I went into the main bathroom and they all started shouting that I should use my own bathroom. I laughed and said I’m only going for a wee and this was met with more shouting of “you have your own toilet”, DH then said “she does this at home too, claims ownership on one toilet then uses everyone else’s”

Anyway it went on and on, the whole 3 nights were spent with them trying to stop me using the main bathroom. I think it started as a joke but they were 100% being serious by the end of it.

Anyway we’re due to go back tomorrow, same place and already sister is dropping hints about whoever gets the en suite uses that exclusively.

Am I the one in the wrong here?? I’m only using main bathroom for peeing btw

What a weird take, they can live with the consequences, wtaf,

I actually agree with both the first and second replies, even though they seems to be a bit opposing.

YABU to make a fuss about insisting you have the en-suite but then not using it, but equally, if I were with someone I knew well enough to go away on holiday with, I really can't see myself getting worked up about which bathroom anyone in the party used.

As for booking a holiday let you are afraid to walk to another room in..... words fail me.

Get a grip OP. This is a ridiculous excuse. If the accommodation "freaks you out" why are you returning?

I say this as someone who mostly lives alone, in the middle of nowhere, in a hundreds of years old cottage, with some paranormal activity!

I don't think you using the bathroom is unreasonable in itself. Where I think you are unreasonable is continuing to use it when they have asked you not to.

Not that it makes it much better, but could OP's DH not use the en-suite (and only the other two be without a toilet) - or I wonder if OP has claimed it as exclusively hers, because of her medical issues, and he's already expected to go and use DSis & BIL's bathroom every time he needs to go?

Apparently she’s scared of rhe corridor, so assume she needs an en-suite as she’d be too scared to do it at night, and needs the other bathroom as she’s too scared to do it during the day,

however her husband says she does the same at home. So maybe she’s scared at home too.

Two couples, two bathrooms. Each couple uses one bathroom. If you want the ensuite, you use the ensuite.

How would you have felt about them using the ensuite?

If you want to shit in peace and have the privacy of not having anyone share your bathroom and potentially smelling what you’ve done (and I have IBS so I know what it’s like), why would you not allow the other couple the same privacy and let them have their own bathroom? Your sister might want to relax and have a nice poo without having to worry about you waltzing in afterwards for a quick wee.

Each couple should have the same amount of private space. You are wanting your own private space and a share of the other space too.

Yabu. Now the word wee is stuck in my head.

you claim a bathroom due to illness so use it. Sharing a bathroom would be upsetting to you so your family has agreed you have the en-suite. It’s important to you.

your SIL has claimed the other bathroom so you agree to use only the ensuite. Its important to her

the hallway is irrelevant. It may be scary but its irrelevant

YABU you have demanded your own bathroom but using the one you insisted the other couple have. You are coming across as someone who enjoys winding other people up, if they have asked you to stick to your own bathroom why would you insist on using theirs. Would you be happy for them to use the en suite? Also if the place has such a spooky corridor which freaks everyone out why are you going back and why would anyone insist on that room?

So long as you’re fine with them coming in your en suite for a shit I think it’s fine OP @AliceNotInChains

no one owns a bog

If there was a separate loo, that would be fine but 2 bathrooms and 2 couples I would expect exclusive use of the main bathroom. We do this with DS we use the ensuite he gets the bathroom to himself, at home and on holiday.

It would annoy me too. I'd then make a point of using YOUR bathroom. (I'm petty).

If you don't want to only use yours, then swap with someone who will.

That's a point I hadn't actually thought about: if OP starts declaring that she 'only needs a wee' before swanning in to the 'main' bathroom, that kind of leads to a 'culture' whereby everybody may feel the expectation to announce and justify what they're going to do before using that bathroom - even though DSis and BIL don't actually have anywhere else to poo (or wee, for that matter).

It doesn't really matter what mumsnet thinks. The fact is it bothers the people you are with. Do you really want an argument every time you go to the toilet? The fact that they said it to you multiple times and you continued to do it is crazy to me. You know you're annoying people.

Well then this year are you going to give them the bedroom with the en suite, and you exclusively use the main bathroom?

would that suit you?

You can insist on everyone bowing to your needs and then doing what you want on top of it. As for the corridor, grow up.

Two bathrooms. Two families.
One each.

Pick the convenience of the ensuite you need to also use the spooky corridor. How old are you BTW?

We go away with family and friends a lot. Everyone sticks to their assigned bathrooms ensuite or main. If there is communal loo, then all use that or their own as they choose. On that basis YABU.

Yeah, I think its a bit odd to use the main one if you’ve got your own, and particularly if you asked to have the en-suite.
We live in a big-ish house. I walk past 3 bathrooms to get to our en-suite, which I do every single time!

plus they've probably put all their toiletries in there.
What do you think the OP is going to do to their toiletries? Use them? Steal them? Shit on them?
I think they're being weird and territorial for no good reason. Of course it's fine to use the nearest/least spooky loo for a quick wee. Having your own en suite doesn't mean you're disallowed from using another loo.

Sounds like you are being selfish and I would be peeved too ... What's yours is mine and what's mine is my own. Had I been granted the security of the ensuite I would certainly listen to any requests for me to limit myself to it. It's about respect. They are respecting your privacy and all they ask is you respect their request. Gently, I would also think about how you behave at home as your DH seems to have an issue there too.

Then don't have the ensuite this time. Let your sister and BIL have the ensuite room. I take it your IBS means you sometimes need to go NOW, well if someone was in the main bathroom, you would be justified in using the other toilet.

I bet your sister’s dreading the entitlement already. I can’t believe you kept using it for 3 days. You ‘insist’ on the en-suite, you ‘insist’ on using the main bathroom, your sister must be a saint.

A dark, spooky corridor? Are you a child?