AIBU to use main bathroom on holiday despite en suite?

[AliceNotInChains]

Last Easter I went away with DH, Sister and BIL. We stayed in an castle apartment.
As I have IBS and other gut issues I insisted on having a bedroom with an en suit for my benefit and everyone else’s. This was fine, DH and I got the room with the little en-suite. On the first night we were watching a film in the living room and I got up to pop to toilet, I went into the main bathroom and they all started shouting that I should use my own bathroom. I laughed and said I’m only going for a wee and this was met with more shouting of “you have your own toilet”, DH then said “she does this at home too, claims ownership on one toilet then uses everyone else’s”

Anyway it went on and on, the whole 3 nights were spent with them trying to stop me using the main bathroom. I think it started as a joke but they were 100% being serious by the end of it.

Anyway we’re due to go back tomorrow, same place and already sister is dropping hints about whoever gets the en suite uses that exclusively.

Am I the one in the wrong here?? I’m only using main bathroom for peeing btw

So there are two couples and two bathrooms?

I understand why they would like to think about them as yours and theirs designated bathrooms - store toiletries, enforce your habits like making sure the toilet is closed before flushing.

You have the ensuite so you have it close at night, so you probably can manage the corridor (how far it can be) when awake?

But most adults find it undignified to have to think about, announce to others or guess what others may need when they go to the toilet.

It's different if you're 4 and you might need a bit of help or supervision from your mummy or daddy.

This is a bit of a difficult one.

I mean the first question is, why rebook an apartment that you find spooky? Seems daft to me!

I think the issue with you then using the main bathroom is that could then mean that one of them has to wait to use that loo. Which is annoying for them unless you are happy for them to go into your en suite for a wee? Otherwise you’re tying up both bathrooms at once.

Also, the en suite in these places normally comes with the best bedroom. That means that you’ve bagsied the best bedroom already by “insisting” (your word, which suggests they weren’t mad keen) on the en suite. Not surprised they might have their backs up before you started in these circumstances esp if there’s an older generation involved.

Edit - I can see there’s no older generation- sorry, I read BIL as MIL somehow.

I can understand that they want to think of it as “one bathroom per couple” now, for equal privacy etc

That said, they do sound unkind to all be ganging up and having a laugh at your expense- I’m sure IBS is horrible. They should have discussed any unhappiness before you went.

I've always thought an ensuite is for morning/evening ablutions and night time loo trips. During the day I'd use whichever bathroom is closest, as long as it didn't mean going through someone else's bedroom.

I don't really see how OP is inconveniencing anyone. Presumably they don't have a queuing situation.

I think if you have two couples and two bathrooms, you split them. You insisted on the en suite, so that’s yours. The other couple has the main bathroom.

ETA - If I was in the other couple, I wouldn’t have made a thing of it though.

So you demanded you had the sole use of a bathroom everyone agreed so now you also use whatever one you feel like?

I think if there are 2 couples on a holiday and there is a bathroom and an ensuite - then there is an unwritten rule that they have one each for their sole use, in the same way that they have a bedroom each for their sole use. Would you have gone into their bedroom to use the mirror rather than going into your own?

The only exception would be if there was not a bath in the ensuite and someone wanted a bath.

Yes give sister and BIL the en-suite and you and your husband can have the main bathroom and use it all the time. Your sister and BIL won’t use it at all even for a quick wee during a movie will they? And would you mind if they did? Sounds like you would mind as you want a bathroom for your exclusive use but don’t allow other people the same privilege.

I actually don’t think that is an exception- that person would have to make do with a shower!

Dont be ridiculous, how are you going to go to bed then if you're worried about walking down that corridor

Also having had experience of IBS, you might go for a wee but end up doing more, thats what happens sometimes, unpredictability

Use the ensuite.

Agreed. Especially if the person ‘insisted’ on having the en-suite

2 couples two bathrooms = one each. Nicer that way

If you’re happy for other people to use your en suite for a wee at any time when it suits them, then I don’t see the problem. But if you’re claiming the en suite for your private use then of course you’re being very unreasonable.

Aside from the fact that they have no way of knowing in advance what you might need, the very reason why you've insisted on your own private bathroom is because of IBS and gut issues.

In addition to you expecting to use their bathroom when you have your own in the first place, it's not unreasonable that they might naturally put two and two together and think that you may well leave the only bathroom that they have available honking for ages afterwards.

Is your husband allowed to use the main bathroom?

OP wants privacy for her private bodily functions like someone (not a family member) not using the bathroom after she has made it stinky. Her friends deserve the same considerations for their private bodily functions as it is easily accommodated with one bathroom each.

Why would you keep doing it when they'd already said it annoyed them? I agree btw, you were unreasonable, use your own bathroom that you insisted on having

Don't you think it's quite 'convenient', though, if you end up with 'what's mine is mine and what's yours is shared'?

The far end of a spooky corridor ! Oh of course that makes all the. Difference. If you are 7

but if you have a private bathroom isnt it polite to let the other couple also have a private bathroom

I think they likely assumed that OP wanted the en-suite as hers, rather than the bathroom in the main part of the place, for privacy reasons - as opposed to her wanting an extra private facility as well as sharing theirs.

You're giving yourself the use of two bathrooms, and while you're in there, depriving everyone else of any. Of course you're being unreasonable. I bet you don't contribute to the cleaning of the main bathroom either.

You have already taken the more convenient bathroom. The other one belongs to the other couple.

Is this a reverse?

If you only use it for a wee and don’t leave bad smells then it’s fine, but clearly they think you are doing this, I’ve no idea why they think you do this, but they do. If you do leave bad smells then use the en-suite, you’re a grown up and can navigate a corridor.

I'm also finding it very difficult to come to terms with an adult avoiding using a major part of the home "because it's spooky" and there may be monsters there.