AIBU to use main bathroom on holiday despite en suite?

[AliceNotInChains]

Last Easter I went away with DH, Sister and BIL. We stayed in an castle apartment.
As I have IBS and other gut issues I insisted on having a bedroom with an en suit for my benefit and everyone else’s. This was fine, DH and I got the room with the little en-suite. On the first night we were watching a film in the living room and I got up to pop to toilet, I went into the main bathroom and they all started shouting that I should use my own bathroom. I laughed and said I’m only going for a wee and this was met with more shouting of “you have your own toilet”, DH then said “she does this at home too, claims ownership on one toilet then uses everyone else’s”

Anyway it went on and on, the whole 3 nights were spent with them trying to stop me using the main bathroom. I think it started as a joke but they were 100% being serious by the end of it.

Anyway we’re due to go back tomorrow, same place and already sister is dropping hints about whoever gets the en suite uses that exclusively.

Am I the one in the wrong here?? I’m only using main bathroom for peeing btw

The issue here isn’t the bathrooms as such, it’s that OP needs to be able to access a bathroom quickly at night, and also keep one bathroom for stinky stuff so that other people don’t have to put up with that.
The question is unanswered as to whether the en-suite is available for everyone to use at their own risk or whether it is restricted for the OP’s sole use.
As others have said, two couples, two bathrooms each couple uses their own. OP YABU

And hee husband who says she does the same at home.

Yes YABU. We go away with DH'S family twice a year. Usually a big rental house, different bathrooms on each floor, not everyone gets an en suite every time. It's a given that whoever doesn't have an ensuite takes one of the family bathrooms and no one else uses that. It's only fair if you have your own that they have their own too.

DH uses the main bathroom, it’s just me that “isn’t allowed”

We had similar last holiday i went woth my sibling, there were 2 loos one was an ensuite and they had that room. Their child likes to spend ages on the loo and was insisting on using the main loo which is fine they are a kid but my daughter nipped to the ensuite to pee (she was 6 at the time) while her cousin was in the loo taking a 25 minute pee and my sibling shouted at her for using their ensuite. It was said at time of booking that the kids might need to use the ensuite if their dc was doing his marathon toilet sessions and agreed this was fine. This and a few other behaviours have put me off holidaying with them again tbh and if the corridor freaks you out why are you going back ?

I think they have a bee in their bonnet about you requesting the en suite room (even though I completely understand why) and they are just trying to make a point about it. Maybe they feel that you made a big deal about the en suite (not sure if you did or not) so they are just getting the point across in a very clumsy way.

This backs up my opinion then. DS and BIL have been having a moan about you getting the en suite because of your needs so they are making a point about it by stopping you using the main bathroom.

That's even worse. They seem to have a problem with you specifically.

You are on holiday in a property with one bedroom and one bathroom per couple. The lounge and kitchen are for use of both couples presumably and then each bedrooms and bathroom are private spaces.
Surely you can see that OP. You aren’t the only person needing bathroom privacy.

The spooky corridor story is nonsense, - you are a grown up.

I wouldn’t dream of using their bathroom.
It’s very bad manners to assume the right to do that. Especially rude to continue to do it after having been given the heads up that they don’t appreciate it.

if you were staying in adjacent hotel rooms, would you assume the right to wander into their bathroom ?

It's often just about privacy. I'm sure she won't defecate on their toiletries, although visitors might like the look of something and give it a spray or squeeze out a dollop to try; but even the thought of somebody potentially looking through your personal stuff is unnerving.

And who says it's only shower gel, shampoo and the like? What if they've left Canesten, Viagra, condoms or other 'personal' items in what they understood was their own private bathroom?

Is your DH allowed to use the en suite?

I’m just wondering whether you’ve commandeered the en suite for your own sole use.

i don’t think you’re in the wrong for using the nearest toilet for a quick wee.

I agree too. I can’t imagine someone having the time and mental capacity to get upset over what bathroom someone does a wee in

Does he have free use of the en-suite as well? As in full agency on an equal first-come-first-served basis without you trying to dissuade him from using it, so as to leave it free for you?

I'm guessing that the same nervousness you have about walking down a corridor might also present with you banning/dissuading him from occupying the en-suite at all... I may well be wrong there, though?

Personally I don't help myself to people's toiletries unless I've asked or they've offered, even close friends and family. I'm not convinced that the OP was interested in availing herself of someone's moisturiser either.
I am not particularly unnerved at the idea of someone possibly looking through my toiletries either
I also wouldn't spend long enough in there when having a quick wee, or pay enough attention, to clock Canesten or whatever, although I wouldn't think anything of it if I did happen to clock something like that.
And whatever they've 'understood', I don't think it is 'their own private bathroom' in any meaningful way. I read the situation as everyone has a bathroom, and then the OP gets an ensuite because she may need it because of her health issues.

And do you think it should be up to OP to announce that she's definitely only going to have a wee (and fight any urge if her bowels suddenly suggest different intentions); or are they allowed to freely ask her when they see her heading there and get her to promise it won't be anything more than a wee? Bearing in mind that they're all adults?

Two couples, two bathrooms, each couple sticks to their own.

That's you, though; not everybody will avoid snooping around and not everybody will be blase about their own toiletries and any other personal items being visible.

I don't know about this case in particular, but in similar circumstances, the couple could be TTC and DSis could be tracking her cycle and/or have pregnancy tests in there.

Even if it's 'just somebody having a wee', it can be very unwelcome and feel like them encroaching on your privacy, when they have their own designated personal toilet but still expect to use yours instead.

Is it their turn to get the en-suite this time?

This is not about any practicality or logic. They are annoyed that you have taken the ensuite and they are resentful and childishly making a point.

I find that odd. A toilet is a toilet. I don't see why anyone would care if you are just having a quick wee. I presume if someone was in the main bathroom and someone else needed the loo you'd let them use your ensuite. This sort of pettiness would make me less keen to go on holiday with them.

I think if you have your own bathroom in a shared property you use that one bathroom unless your partner is already in there.

Especially if you’ve demanded that you need your own private toilet.

I think they are fair enough. You claimed the room with the en suite room, so use it. Unless there is a communal bathroom as well as your bathroom and theirs, then you each stick to your own bathroom. They could have had dirty underpants on the floor and sex toys in the sink of theirs, and not be expecting anyone else to go in there because it was THEIR bathroom and you had yours!

YABU. It’s fair enough that you should have the en-suite given your medical issues, but the main bathroom then becomes the other couple’s bathroom.

You can’t stake a claim on all the toilets at once.