AIBU to use main bathroom on holiday despite en suite?

[AliceNotInChains]

Last Easter I went away with DH, Sister and BIL. We stayed in an castle apartment.
As I have IBS and other gut issues I insisted on having a bedroom with an en suit for my benefit and everyone else’s. This was fine, DH and I got the room with the little en-suite. On the first night we were watching a film in the living room and I got up to pop to toilet, I went into the main bathroom and they all started shouting that I should use my own bathroom. I laughed and said I’m only going for a wee and this was met with more shouting of “you have your own toilet”, DH then said “she does this at home too, claims ownership on one toilet then uses everyone else’s”

Anyway it went on and on, the whole 3 nights were spent with them trying to stop me using the main bathroom. I think it started as a joke but they were 100% being serious by the end of it.

Anyway we’re due to go back tomorrow, same place and already sister is dropping hints about whoever gets the en suite uses that exclusively.

Am I the one in the wrong here?? I’m only using main bathroom for peeing btw

Phew. That's a weight off my mind.

And your OH was a knob to say that comment about how you do the same at home 🙄. In a house you presumably also pay for?

Maybe it wasn't intended to humiliate her, but rather borne of his frustration over however long in a house that he also pays for - where there are some things that are exclusively hers and everything else is shared?

You sound a bit precious. The first time everyone else mentioned it, I’d just stick to the en-suite. They’ve let you have an en-suite but the ‘jokes’ were a sign it was a bit of an annoyance for them so you should have just stuck to it to respect the fact they have made allowances for you. Spooky corridor is a crap excuse, up the lighting levels and be an adult.

Why not just use the toilet you asked for? It seems bizarre of you and as thought you’re trying to cause arguments?

Usually the room with an ensuite is the nicest, biggest bedroom, so by wanting the en suite you have effectively nabbed the best bedroom, probably paying the same as everyone else. Therefore I can see the annoyance.

Yes of course you are wrong. It’s beyond entitled. You’ve requested an en-suite for a valid reason, so use it. There’s no need for you to use the other toilet.

I don't understand why you kick up a fuss about having the ensuite then use the other bathroom

You and your husband have one bathroom and your sister and bil the other

You sound a bit odd

This has to be a wind up surely

Her poor husband doesn't really have a bathroom of his own at all - he either has to borrow the other couple's or use the one attached to his own bedroom whilst knowing that his wife is annoyed and resenting him for doing so throughout.

I remember once as a child, when my DM gave my DSis and I a lovely big cake to share. Even at that young age, I realised that it was just easier for it to be a one-person cake, so I ate it all myself - but my selfish, immature, stupid DSis was so unreasonable and simply could not grasp this obvious plain fact at all...

Why would you prefer your own DH not to use your en-suite?

I think it more as you insisted to have the en-suite, so the other family have the main bathroom as theirs, you then use the main bathroom also.

it probably wouldn’t bother me in the shared family hygiene aspect or if your en-suite was on a higher floor, but the entitlement yes it would especially if on the same floor so hardly any extra effort.

She thinks her IBS entitles her to complete privacy and sole occupation and anyone else should shut the fuck up and know their place.

Over simplified perhaps but that seems to be the gist of it.

You’re taking the piss.

yabu. It’s fine to want the en-suite given the circumstances. It’s not fine to be using the main bathroom when you have the en suite toilet. The spooky corridor excuse is pathetic.
you are sending mixed messages to those who don’t have IBS and don’t understand your condition. You just look selfish and entitled. It’s a good idea to not have that kind of accommodation again as you have identified yourself.
they have made their point so there’s no need for them ti keep going on about it though. Ignore them and hopefully they’ll stop banging on about it.

Yes it seems you’re being quite entitled. By claiming the en suite you have said that the other bathroom is theirs. If you want to use that one then give them the ensuite this time and they will only use that one so your gut issues won’t be a problem to them anyway.

So you get the en suite for your personal use and you prefer the other three to use the other toilet?

Yes, YABU to use the main bathroom.

I’m sure it is easier for you! 😂

OMG, how bitter are your family. Whether there is some background to that I don’t know, however, I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to use a shared toilet if it’s more convenient, and no one else is using it. As long as it’s quick. I also think it’s perfectly reasonable for someone else to use your en-suite if you’re not. Goes both ways.

My wider family regularly go away and rent a big house. There may be ten or more of us, varying ages. Some of us have en-suites, depends on the need of the person at the time, who is paying more etc, some don’t. We would all use any bathroom, as long as it’s convenient, if it was free and the main one wasn’t etc. No arguing, no passive aggressive comments. Your family are dicks. If you truly need an en suite that is. I think that’s the issue, they don’t believe you do, or begrudge it. Maybe next time pay a little more and that might stop them being miserable gets!

I agree with the majority of people on here and also think it’s silly if you to demand the suite but then also want to use the main bathroom. The stuff about the spooky corridor to your bedroom is also very silly.

I do think the others were being a bit OTT continuously harping on about it though, seems an overreaction from them. However the bit that got me…

Anyway it went on and on, the whole 3 nights were spent with them trying to stop me using the main bathroom.

At any point during the “whole 3 nights” did you not think “ah maybe I should just…stop…using this bathroom?” They made it clear they weren’t happy with it (which is fair play seeing as you demanded the en suite) so why did you not just…stop? It’s like you were winding them up on purpose by continuing to use their bathroom. Sounds like a really crap holiday if this took over, when you could’ve just gone to your own damn toilet.

It depends… Did you make a massive fuss about having your own loo? Did you tell everyone about your IBS to gain sympathy and the en-suite, if so then yes you are the A-hole. Sorry OP!

but that's the whole point - it DOESN'T go both ways.
If she allowed them to use her ensuite when she wasn't in it, they'd probably be fine with her using the main bathroom - but she made clear (her post at 14:15 yesterday) she doesn't even want her DH using "her" bathroom.

Given she would prefer the poor sod to leave his bedroom, go down the "spooky corridor" and use the main loo even if he needed a quick pee in the middle of the night, I can't blame him being pissed off.

It's a completely different scenario to your family. If anything OP is being the dick so the rest of them are just reacting in kind.

So you requested an accommodation on medical grounds, and they bullied you because you wanted to have a wee in the main bathroom? I don’t see the issue personally. I couldn’t berate someone over this unless they were constantly in the main bathroom hogging it. Just tell someone else they can have the en-suite and let them feel the full wrath of your IBS…they deserve it!

Go to the bathroom you claimed. If you claim one then that one is yours to use. If you don't like the corridor, change bedrooms. You are "it's all about me, me."

I understand that you’re embarrassed about your husband also using the toilet after you, if you’ve left it smelly, but you seem to be forgetting that people without IBS also have poos, and that they can also on occasion be smelly. The other couple probably don’t want you (or husband but they understand that he’s been effectively banished by you from yours) to use their toilet as they will be embarrassed too. You announcing that you’re only having a wee doesn’t help, you wouldn’t want them ‘only having a wee’ in your toilet, because it’s not about what they do in there, it’s about following you in after what you did.