AIBU to use main bathroom on holiday despite en suite?

[AliceNotInChains]

Last Easter I went away with DH, Sister and BIL. We stayed in an castle apartment.
As I have IBS and other gut issues I insisted on having a bedroom with an en suit for my benefit and everyone else’s. This was fine, DH and I got the room with the little en-suite. On the first night we were watching a film in the living room and I got up to pop to toilet, I went into the main bathroom and they all started shouting that I should use my own bathroom. I laughed and said I’m only going for a wee and this was met with more shouting of “you have your own toilet”, DH then said “she does this at home too, claims ownership on one toilet then uses everyone else’s”

Anyway it went on and on, the whole 3 nights were spent with them trying to stop me using the main bathroom. I think it started as a joke but they were 100% being serious by the end of it.

Anyway we’re due to go back tomorrow, same place and already sister is dropping hints about whoever gets the en suite uses that exclusively.

Am I the one in the wrong here?? I’m only using main bathroom for peeing btw

They made it clear on the first night that they didnt want you to use it. Why did you continually ignore their requests over the weekend? Seems like one rule for you, and another rule for everyone else.

@AliceNotInChains You sound like a child. Demanded a bathroom and then don’t use it because it’s “spooky”. My definition of a pita.

I dibsed the en suite room when we treated ILs to a trip because I was very pregnant, had HG and was waking in the night to pee. The en suite room is usually the nicest room so my husband grumbled a bit as he's planned to let his parents have it.

But I didn't use the other bathroom, and also was happy to let people use our shower (the other room only had a bath).

If your condition is unpleasant enough that you're more comfortable with your private space, then it's also nicer for everyone if you keep all your bathroom functions there OP (I sympathise as my mum has similar issues, but she is always resoundingly against making it anyone else's business).

The spooky corridor can't be that long though if it's just an apartment for 2 couples, even if it is in a castle. Everyone here sounds weird about toilets.

So, you get a toilet all to yourself, and you get to use the one that everyone else uses? You really are a piece of work.

100% agree.

Yes, on the face of it they seem a little bit petty. They WBU if you said you were fine with them using your en-suite loo occasionally, e.g. if your sister was in the shower and BiL needed a quick pee or vice versa, as long as it was understood the ensuite was for your primary use and they couldn't use it for any length of time. But it sounds like you begrudge even your DH using "your" loo, in which case YABU, you can't have your cake and eat it.

3 people using 1 loo and 1 person essentially getting one to themselves is unfair, particularly if you're all paying the same amount, so I can see why they think you're taking the piss (sorry!) if you also want to use their loo when it's more convenient for you. Also, I'm sorry, but "spooky corridor" - grow up!

Or perhaps they would find it embarrassing for a non family member to go in the bathroom after they have made a stink just like OP would - hence having the ensuite.

Shitting is not exclusive to IBS sufferers.

Why is it understandable for OP to be private about smells but not her relatives? Yes they may shit once a day instead of many more times but the principle is the same.

Your sibling is a twat. Hope you banned their kid from using the other loo. Them commandeering both toilets at the same time is unaccceptable, especially when kids are involved!!

even my dicksplash brother isn't that mean.

From YOUR OP

Anyway we’re due to go back tomorrow, same place and already sister is dropping hints about whoever gets the en suite uses that exclusively

Which is it??

Just use the en-suite. End of.

Oh come the fuck on!

I actually don't see the big deal in any of you using the nearest bathroom for a quick wee but clearly the others in your party do mind, so you should respect that.

As for the coridor being spooky, you're a grown woman being utterly ridiculous. You're happy to sleep in that bedroom, you're happy to return visit the cottage. Take a torch, extra lamps or nightlights with you if you like, but you cannot be both happy to stay in that cottage in that bedroom again AND too scared to use the corridor to go for a wee.

Normally, people who have a bizarre hang-up about the possibility of other people hearing/smelling them farting or pooing - when they're actually sitting on a toilet that is expressly designed for such tasks - will put themselves to inconvenience and restrict their own options; not stop other people who don't have those issues from using a toilet at all.

At home we all have en suites and we don’t use anyone else’s.

If you’ve got the en-suite room does that mean you’ve got a proper double bed and they’ve got a very uncomfortable zip link bed that’s 2 singles zipped together?

that would annoy me as well

I'm definitely in the group of people who love old castles and ancient buildings, with all of their atmosphere and history... but I can't for the life of me understand why people who don't like them and find them too spooky to reside in would nevertheless choose to stay in one over all of the other accommodation options once, let alone twice.

It's quite ironic really, considering that the original toilet facilities at the castle would most likely have involved sticking your arse out of an open window, giving the public outside a full-length Dagenham smile and watering and fertilising the ground directly below - now it's been modernised and has two present-day plumbed-in flushing toilets, OP still isn't content with one of those.

This is holiday accommodation, not your own home.

You have an en-suite for your personal use, and therefore privacy and a personal space for using the toilet, personal care items etc. Your sister and BIL are on holiday too, and it’s perfectly reasonable they might want their space as well. What’s wrong with that? Just because you have IBS, doesn’t mean you are the only one who wants privacy.

It wouldn’t bother me if I were in their place, but if I were in your place, given I had claimed the en-suite, I would be respecting their feelings on wanting the bathroom for themselves.

How about next time you find accommodation that has 2 en-suites?

What age are you? Three?

This can’t be real.

If you have use of a “one person toilet” then you should also be a “one toilet person”.

Given your lack of answer to the many times it had been asked, I assume you aren’t paying extra for the better room that you insist on having.

Yabu. You requested the ensuite so use it. You assume you're the only one who may have toileting issues, the others may want to use a clean loo but you're causing a queue and stink.

I used to work for a company that was expanding, which moved some departments into a second building across the road. Our boss’s daughter was married to a guy who’d claimed the whole gent’s toilets (2 cubicles etc.) on our floor as “his bathroom”, which nobody else was allowed to use. Initially, there were about 6 of us there - all women, so it was no big deal. (The building was new, there wasn’t any signage on the bathrooms and both were identical - just mirrored lay-outs). Eyebrows were raised when we were told not to use “Mr. so and so’s Bathroom”, but we just used the ladies’ 2 cubicle facility that was opposite “his bathroom”!
Fast forward a few years, there were about 45 mixed sex employees on that floor, sharing a two cubicle ladies’ bathroom, while boss’s SIL still had exclusive access to the Gents’ !

I hope you’ll agree that he was being COMPLETELY UNREASONABLE…

Ring any bells? 😂

If DH can use it why don’t they want you using it? Are you likely to get it dirty or smelly?

I have ibs and in your position I’d use the toilet id requested sole use of.

It’s vaguely annoying that you made a fuss about an en-suite only to continually use the main bathroom.
But I’m not sure I could get as worked up about it as that lot seem to be! It’s a toilet. Who cares? And if you are watching a movie that presumably has to be paused when you go I would prefer it took as little time as possible if I were your family members, so better to use the one that’s the nearest surely? The only real objection I’d have would be if you’d taken ages and prevented someone else from using it when they needed it.
And your OH was a knob to say that comment about how you do the same at home 🙄. In a house you presumably also pay for?

Then what does her DH do if she has one of the two en-suites and DSis & BIL have the other?! Bucket at the bottom of the garden?!