To refuse Hs attempt at sex at 6.30 on a week day morning when High School DC about to wake in their nearby rooms

[NobodysGirl]

I get up at 6.30 and get breakfast and stuff for DC to leave at 7.30 (High school), their alarm goes at 6.30 too and rarely they do saunter in if the door were unlocked- but even otherwise the rooms are all close by and they would be up and about and this is more embarrassing now that they are grown and would easily have guessed.

Found it disgusting and a turn off and annoyed with H

Especially as he knew I would have been willing after they had left for a lie in as we both wfh and have the whole place to ourselves and full privacy till late evening when they are back.

Is this a fetish that emerges in couples in 40s and 50s to pounce and try it on at inappropriate times? Does it keep men from getting bored to be risque than safe.

Not having it.

My husband is always trying it on but before anyone wakes up. My problem is that if I'm woken up for sex I can't get in the mood as I feel rage at being woken up.

Why didn’t you just tell him to save it till they had left? It sounds like it’s really put off him for no good reason tbh.

I dunno....maybe the risque part of it could be a turn on? I guess we all have different perspectives....

Absolutely this.
(Being horny and fancy-ing a quickie is not disgusting op)

Correct

Yes but it's not a fetish
He was just horny

Absolutely this

Yes, I see what this thread is now. I find it really upsetting that there are posters who want to use AIBU as a form of self-harm, and even more so that there is never a shortage of posters who will pile on to give her the kicking that she feels she deserves.

Please talk to a professional for some RL support, OP.

Yup. And here I am, the Single Person. I agree, nice to have the option tbh (unlike me, who has no choice!). I would't gave wanted for my kids to find me having sex with their father though, as he is total git, It sounds as they early mornings are a hive of activity, so maybe not the best time. 9.03am might be on the cards though.

For heaven's sake, you have nothing to beat yourself up for. And I'm not surprised that you're exhausted.
Go with the flow. If his demands are ridiculous, as they simply are right now, contest them. You certainly sound strong enough not to take any shit.

Thoughts are with you.

Assuming he knew the time and that you were just about to start your morning routine with the DC I’m with you OP.

Dont you have a lock on your door?

A fetish is a focus on something special like leather or dirty feet but not on sex in the morning. When people can’t get sex at a pretty normal time they often find alternative sources.

This has nothing to do with right or wrong butwith the fact that sexual desire is incredibly potent and those who don’t get it satisfied will go elsewhere.

Sex has to be consensual. If you don’t both want it, it isn’t.

Ah "morning glory". A natural instinct that's aroused him before his brain is engaged. It's a shame you can't laugh it off. It's natural, not dirty but if it's unwelcome, try not to be too harsh and perhaps a kiss and cuddle would help to bridge the time till you're both alone.

I agree with you OP. I think it’s massively unreasonable of him to expect you to be into that knowing there’s a risk your kids could walk in/hear you - WTF was he thinking? And the fact he got grumpy and sulky afterwards is concerning, this is manipulative behaviour- he’s trying to make you feel bad for saying no. He’s allowed to be disappointed but he should never put that burden on you, he’s not entitled to sex.

It becomes disgusting when you are expected to service his needs and everything else in the marriage is wrong and shit.

I can't believe I'm reading this

I'd find it disgusting too, he knows there are kids waking up in the house yet trying it on knowing they would hear. Needs to control himself and be a parent!

@NobodysGirl Setting aside the sex thing don’t you see you have a much bigger issue? Just why do you cook breakfast for your teenagers? How exactly are you equipping them for the near future? They are not 13/14 for heaven’s sake.

I'm team you, definitely not DH!

It's a control thing by the sound of it. I'm going to have sex in front of our kid you see?

I don’t find it normal and I don’t like having sex whilst the kids are awake in the house.

She should have sex knowing kids would hear. When she doesn't want to