To refuse Hs attempt at sex at 6.30 on a week day morning when High School DC about to wake in their nearby rooms

[NobodysGirl]

I get up at 6.30 and get breakfast and stuff for DC to leave at 7.30 (High school), their alarm goes at 6.30 too and rarely they do saunter in if the door were unlocked- but even otherwise the rooms are all close by and they would be up and about and this is more embarrassing now that they are grown and would easily have guessed.

Found it disgusting and a turn off and annoyed with H

Especially as he knew I would have been willing after they had left for a lie in as we both wfh and have the whole place to ourselves and full privacy till late evening when they are back.

Is this a fetish that emerges in couples in 40s and 50s to pounce and try it on at inappropriate times? Does it keep men from getting bored to be risque than safe.

Not having it.

Her DH tried to instigate sex, she said no 🤷‍♀️

She then thinks it’s a fetish?

Really?

Way to minimise..she talks about extracting herself from his being, from memory, an octopus (all hands on her). When she says no...he is then unpleasant. It was nowhere near the neutral equal event you try and minimise it to.

If she knows they are likely to be either seen or heard...? What is that a normal situation? OP is the one that lives in that household and knew what she felt and described it
Edited for typos

Thanks @Anyahyacinth

@BoogieTownTop , He really is the one who insists on the cooked breakfast yada routine for kids in the morning, I would not mind them getting themselves cereal. Do you stop mid way and rush out if the kids are hollering , or what if they get genuinely worried if you aren't up and about because of a stroke?

@Rokabe , haha no of course I am not going to do nothing. I have already moved into the spare room. will wait for DC to go off to uni , will teach them to spot stroke signs. Will also fund my own care in retirement and go into paid care when I am retired as I dont trust H to look past his wood even at 80 to look out for someone else having a heart attack or collapsing. I will love my GC when they come if I am still around, I will stay on mumsnet and read EachandEveryone's threads meanwhile and other threads by Brilliant brave funny MNers. I have a plan. A good one.

On another point, why do 15-17 yr olds need their mum to get up and feed them?

Yes Anya, exactly, it's bizarre how Op's feelings and discomfort are being argued with by so many people. Being accused of being unkind to what sounds like quite an unpleasant man and told not to be surprised if he looks elsewhere, even though Op has said they have a regular sex life. So outdated and misogynistic. It IS weird/fetishistic to want sex with your partner with an unlocked door, knowingly that your kids might walk in at any moment, when you have a full day alone together anyway. Op has a lot to think about clearly, but please don't be swayed by all these people claiming that you should be having sex within earshot of your kids all the time in order to show them a 'healthy relationship '.Wouldn't be surprised if a lot of posters are male.

I lied. I don't have a plan. I don't even have a pla....

just moved to spare room and it's peaceful here.

So weird. He’s fine to want sex, you’re fine to not want it. I find this whole concept of not being able to have sex when when DC are in the house strange. It’s not like every time you have sex you need to screaming your head off.

I also laughed at your excuse being your teenage kids being unable to make their own breakfast 😂

I prefer morning sex and I’m quite prudish

Why would a 17yo be hollering for his fucking breakfast? What kind of children do you have that holler at you at 6.30am.... They sound as ignorant as your husband, and some poor man / woman will have to deal with their neediness in the future.

Also... how was he asking you for sex, and poking you in the back with his wood if you sleep in the spare room? He must have the longest dick on the planet

My 17 year old didn’t holler for breakfast….

Look after yourself Op, it sounds like your health isn't great. Ignore the judgemental replies and do what is best for you. I hope you find happiness X

Yes you were wrong. Is this not AIBU? You’re implying he’s a pervert or something. That is U.

Your first plan should be to get some therapy. Your last couple of posts sound unhinged and you created this thread for a single issue, as per your words, which is exactly what you received opinions upon.

Get therapy and a divorce.

I don’t know why you’re making breakfast for a 17 year old tbh and you lost me from that point… 🤷‍♀️

I'm so confused by this thread. All this talk about fetishes, octopus hands husbands and cucumber penises 😐

Then there were the older teens hollering for toast and eggs and calling OP 'mummy'.

And now the random segue about blood pressure, strokes, going to A&E with a stroke, teaching sons signs of strokes....

This is all so strange and OP generally sounds unwell.

Yep it’s defo a ridiculous time to try it on. And if there are already cracks in the relationship it will make you more annoyed with him. Tell him how you really feel about the relationship as a whole see what happens. What’s the worst that can happen?

As your friend’s experience was entirely different from yours and not remotely comparable, I’m unsure why you’ve brought it up.

Your whole tone is this thread is incredibly passive-aggressive. Really odd.

Why on earth do people not have proper locks on their bedroom doors?
Like why even risk being seen, even if the kids are very young?
I don't want to be seen accidentally changing forget anything else, seeing my parents changing was traumatising enough 😅
Anyway, as long as you're quiet enough, I wouldn't care about what teenagers think tbh
They should learn that they are not always a priority.