To refuse Hs attempt at sex at 6.30 on a week day morning when High School DC about to wake in their nearby rooms

[NobodysGirl]

I get up at 6.30 and get breakfast and stuff for DC to leave at 7.30 (High school), their alarm goes at 6.30 too and rarely they do saunter in if the door were unlocked- but even otherwise the rooms are all close by and they would be up and about and this is more embarrassing now that they are grown and would easily have guessed.

Found it disgusting and a turn off and annoyed with H

Especially as he knew I would have been willing after they had left for a lie in as we both wfh and have the whole place to ourselves and full privacy till late evening when they are back.

Is this a fetish that emerges in couples in 40s and 50s to pounce and try it on at inappropriate times? Does it keep men from getting bored to be risque than safe.

Not having it.

I think most men and woman wake up horny. Men, IME, tend to wake with a hard on and want to do something with it - if they wait an hour, it's gone and they've moved on. This is just an observation, i'm not saying it's good or bad - just the way it is.

I think your reaction was way too strong, just say no and move on.

I think your teenage kids need to make their own breakfast and get themselves ready for school, you aren't doing them any favours by doing everything for them.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a quickie if they are downstairs getting breakfast and you're upstairs doing whatever.

They are almost adults... they can make their own bloody breakfast.

I mean, god forbid a bloke should ask his wife for sex - what awful behaviour!

People who think like this shouldn’t be surprised when he has an affair / leaves for someone else in five years time…

Yeah ‘cause a woman that says no to sex deserves to be treated like shit eh? 🙄

I just dont understand why you should ask the world if you should have sex or not.

Its YOUR DECISION.

And why others are so obsessed with whether or not you make breakfast.

How could it alter your opinion? If your hubby is openly shagging you with the boys in earshot they will start saying things like : " Mum was busy shagging dad and forgot to give me diner money/ sign my note/ read my journal . "

Does anyone else agree that sex is a private matter and doesnt involve the community consent of mumsnet?

What drew you to thread? Clearly one involving sex in the thread title

You certainly seemed pretty involved earlier today @Dewdust

now “sex is a private matter” you say

Why cant they make their own breakfast?

I read all sorts of things and believe it or not I'm entitled to. I just find it mind blowing the number of insecure women who think she should be at it whenever he has a hard (on or else he will have an affair ).
And so many women think she's wrong to say 'No'.
Its up to her where, and how ,and what time of day....unless you all want to have a go at a little bit of coercive pimping!

Literally no one is saying OP is wrong to say no. They're saying she's wrong to suggest he was wrong to suggest it, or that he has a fetish, or that he was treating his son a sexual rival.

Oh don’t see this, I see people saying it’s wrong to say it’s a “fetish” or act like it’s weird.

It’s not.

One partner wanting sex, but the other doesn’t fancy it, it’s not unusual is it?

This issue is not her not wanting sex, most people have said that's fine. It's her labelling her husband wanting sex with her in the morning as a fetish and actually suggesting that to him, as though he was some kind of deviant getting off having sex near kids.

I don’t think you have actually read any of the responses. Bring up one example of who think she should be at it whenever he has a hard (on or else he will have an affair ).

just one will do

Am I weird for thinking why anyone wants sex lol

Id have given my ex abuse alright. If I was a cat Id have hissed at him.

Thread over.

Why doesn't husband get them breakfast if he thinks it's lazy parenting not to ???
Also surely a 17 year old is capable of frying an egg ?
How will they manage at college or in digs ?
do they Ever get breakfast for you at the weekend ?
Babyfying them is not helping them. Or you.
All the best.
Ps how can you bear to have sex with a man you believe does not love you?

One was about protecting sons from sex noises the other may well be path of least resistance with an unpleasant partner. The situations aren't comparable

Anyway I will continue to post my non saga on my other thread. It isn't about just this morning - just one more drop in an ocean.

He got news 2 days ago that his sister in the US had a mild stroke (only early 50s) , we were worried about that, my heart went out to him when he said yesterday 'life keeps taking things one by one from us.....' and I felt the same sadness too.

That's why I cuddled up this morning, but I don't think I will again unless I get up first to check the door is locked.

His sister back home after a night in hospital, two days. Apparently her husband noticed her face drooping and insisted she be driven immediately to ER there and they were able to give her blood thinners , anti platelets immediately. No limbs needing physiotherapy or speech needing therapy.

Just a warning, and a confirmation from doctors that it was a stroke with MRI , and they thought it was a miracle and she was blessed. So happy for her, and she is indeed blessed. Would my H notice a facial droop ? Or be too busy taking care of his morning wood? I was once admitted in hospital with BP of 235/175 and he was with another woman at a hobby thing.

I still think I had lasting damage from the high blood pressure episodes, I can't do safety pins anymore , I cant jog down stairs anymore - but what's important is to look out for his morning wood and servicing it.

If I had any sense, I would be done.

Very impressed with US doctors, but I think what makes such a difference at A&E/ER is a husband who rushes in looking frantic and saying

My wife is not herself, I can clearly make out a one sided face droop and speech not okay this morning

Versus

A husband looking annoyed about being late for work and hobbies walking in

My wife insisted we come and get her checked, her face looks strange and her speech too, but then again she 's a bit of a nutjob and a hypochondriac, I hope she doesnt waste your time today.

He did that once with my GP and was asked to leave by the GP

So posting this thread and wanting people to only comment on this particular issue, was not what you wanted?

It was what I wanted and thank you.

I was unreasonable ... to still be trying at this point and unreasonable for wasting all your time with this thread.

Hopefully it was helpful to someone reading in a healthy marriage which is loving and caring and respectful except for morning wood minor conflict.

They arent posting on one issue they're going off on ridiculous tangents about this family's morning routines. Things that are beside the point of what happened. Husband wanted sex when they generally get up and care for sons. Wife thought it was creepy.
Surely if the husband wants morning privacy and to have sex HE establishes a new routine(locks door, shouts to kids get your own breakfasts etc...ensures the kids don't overhear sex noises)...oh but I see...everyone's needs weigh on OP....right, right
All problems hers to solve 🤢