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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect my wife and stepson’s wife to attend my daughter’s baby shower?

305 replies

ThamesmeadHammer · 27/03/2026 12:09

To expect my wife to go to my daughter's baby shower?

Wife and I been together for 31 years, both had a child from previous relationships who happen to be the same age.

We decided to leave the UK and move to Italy, along with my stepson, his wife and their baby.

My daughter has been through the wringer trying to get pregnant for years and there was a fear that she may never have a child.
Her step brother - wife's DS - and his wife fell pregnant and had a beautiful baby and all her friends have had babies.

This really knocked the stuffing out of her and affected her mental health.

Thankfully DD fell pregnant and is expecting a girl in a few months. I was absolutely over the moon and was everyone else.

A baby shower has been arranged for her but my wife isn't going nor is my stepsons wife - despite me and my wife flying back a few weeks before.

Daughter is extremely upset and doesn't want to see them at all, said that I let her down by not standing up to my wife for not going.

I was really disappointed with my wife, after all she has been a step mum to my daughter.

Haven't confronted my wife over this, I feel outnumbered by her, her son and his wife.

BTW - I am struggling to have any kind of relationship with my wife, Stepson and his family - I'm like "do whatever you want, I'm not interested" . There is a lot more to the backstory of all the relationships.

OP posts:
GoBackToBooks · 31/03/2026 11:57

@ThamesmeadHammer are numbers low and your DD could do with the support to fill the room?

Otherwise I can’t see why she’d be that bothered if she’s seeing your wife a few weeks prior.

nOlives · 31/03/2026 17:20

I feel bad for your wife and her family. She's made a very sensible suggestion and instead of having her back you are throwing your emotional weight around.

You've obviously not got the amunition you hoped for from this thread and have slunk off.

mathanxiety · 01/04/2026 03:38

Dartania · 27/03/2026 12:35

Wife is flying back with me a few weeks before to see her father and check on him. I have some business to attend to at the same time.
Wife said it makes sense to celebrate with my daughter a few weeks before rather than fly back for the day as per the baby shower

This is perfectly reasonable, OP. You and your daughter are being ridiculous.

I agree.

I also think you're being very passive aggressive here, with your 'do whatever' comments that you clearly don't mean.

HideousKinky · 06/04/2026 18:51

You say your wife will have celebrated with your daughter a few weeks before the date of the baby shower. This seems quite sufficient

NotThisShitAgain121 · 13/05/2026 15:45

You are overacting and not giving all of the backstory.

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