A genuine or accidentally-on-purpose email sent by mistake?

[roses19837]

Yesterday I saw that DH received a what appears to be obviously an accidental email from a former, younger female employee. The email was addressed to a group, staring 'hi all,' and from what I could see, was all about writing content for a website. Nothing to do with what DH does. DH just left the email, didn't reply, and went back to his inbox. He never mentioned it to me, but why would he? A silly accidental email is no piece of news really...

This employee left the company after an internship with my DH's business last summer.

As a bit of background, most of DH's work was from home, so he didn't see this woman in person all that often.

I used to suspect that DH was a bit too chatty and familiar with this young woman, although he never contacted her inappropriately outside of work. I met her several times when I went with DH to the office, and he always seemed smily and enthralled with her and what she was saying, which I did have words with him about, and he did later tone this down.

I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH? If so, would it be worth me telling DH to block her? I did used to wonder whether she liked the attention he gave her before I had words with him (she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc). I could of course just be overthinking this

I don't walk dogs in the office no? I thought I was being asked what I wear in general!

And OP was just walking by and unbelievably she just happened to see the email from this woman……

I mean what are the chances?

🤔

What’s your office attire?

So he’s not allowed to have friends at work or be friends with former colleagues who might be looking to maintain business contacts?!

Also, the way you speak of her clothing is awful. Dripping with misogyny.

Well I just glimpsed the email - it wasn't very long! I didn't read it word for word! 😅

You misspelt fool, you meant letch?

He was. You chose to forgive him presumably (or are you doing that thing where you stay to punish him - I know someone who did that)

You have no right to poke through his emails (you said you just glanced at them but clearly not) and if that happened with an employee who wfh for some firms, he would be banned from doing it as you don’t have the right to see the information.

Do yourself a favour - set him free to be with someone who doesn’t control everything

I wouldn’t worry about it OP. Contacts and connections are worth a lot. My DH had several contracts where he would contact everyone and anyone he knew just to promote the product or services of the business he worked for. It doesn’t matter if they were interested in the product/service but it was in the hope they will recommended to someone else

Do you all work together? How do you know so much about this woman and all her slight interactions? If a partner of mine behaved the way you are I would be running a mile!

It never ceases to amaze me how many women think much younger, attractive women want their usually mediocre, middle age husband!

You say "basking in his attention".
I say "humouring him out of professional polieteness!"

Unhinging and also he's probably breaching his WHF contract if you can view his emails.

You read enough though, funny how it was only that email and you happened to see the distribution list and the contents…

That’s a data breach

Both then!

But of all the emails, in all the days, you saw that one in enough detail to know what it was all about, also that he didn’t answer it.

This thread is a wind up! Good try!

Then why are you with him?

And the correct action if you see someone’s work laptop open is to carry on past without having a nosey

He owns his own business.

He doesn't usually do that.

And we've been married almost 30 years - I do love him.

No it isn't a wind up. We both work from home, so I will see a lot of what's on his laptop when I'm cooking, cleaning, coming in and out of the kitchen. I didn't care about any of the other emails/any of the other work I saw.

He might have found her attractive. I am happily married but find other blokes attractive. If we only found one person attractive in the course of our entire lives it would be a sad place and the likelihood of you meeting that one person might be negligible.

But I have absolutely no intention of doing anything about the other blokes I find attractive. And most likely your DH had no intention of doing anything other than enjoying a bit of flattering attention.

You can't start telling him to block other women. You will come across as unhinged and you could end up ruining your relationship.

Yes!! I’m sure we all remember being 20-something in the workplace and wanting to jeopardise your job (despite having to prove yourself constantly, over mediocre men), by trying to shag a middle aged man when you have all the fit 20-something men to pick from!

I have my own business. I know how DH behaved on the handful of times I went into his office with him and met this woman, and I know he'd had lengthy chats with her when I wasn't there, because of things they spoke about when I did turn up.

But you don’t trust him so how can you love him? He didn’t have an affair but you are bitter about a woman who has the audacity to look good and be young.

can you not see that your actions and thought processes are so controlling as to be unhealthy

For info, if I was trying to contact someone on the down low, I wouldn’t do it by sending a group email 🤣🤣

I can see exactly what you are saying here

put simply, you know your husband fancied her / had a bit of a crush and now she’s left, she’s perhaps trying to open up a conversation with him in a roundabout way/ not obvious way

seeing if he will reply , if you like. Which then gives her an opportunity to respond back

I’m not sure what’s not clear about that to the other rather obtuse responses you’re getting

HOWEVR … the issue here is with your husband. He openly flirted with her in front of you and you clearly don’t trust him. That’s your issue really . The answer probably isn’t requesting he blocks her - the answer probably lies in you considering how you feel going forward about your husband basically disrespecting you in front of this young woman

Perhaps you could lock him in the cellar in case he sees any loose woman who likes to look good.

Noooooo! Lengthy chats?!! Omg how terrible to talk to colleagues in the workplace.

I have great friends (male and female) of all ages and it enriches my life. I’ve been to weddings, retirement parties, birthdays, etc., with all these friends. We’ve even been on holiday together. We’ve helped each other in a new work environment when others have got new jobs and we can help each other out. Do you not have any work friends?

I'd probably look a bit too enthusiastic if I were kept on such a tight leash that I was monitored whilst working for the majority of the week, my spouse tagged along on a lot of the occasional visits to the office and I actually got some human interaction and conversation beyond what the dog has rolled in this morning when I wasn't being supervised.

My ex would have loved to fuck up my professional life as well as my personal and social one. Which is why he's an ex - it got to the point that he'd complain I was clearly going out on the pull if I brushed my hair and teeth and if I stayed home and used the computer, I was obviously doing it in order to start an internet affair.

Batshit. Totally batshit.