A genuine or accidentally-on-purpose email sent by mistake?

[roses19837]

Yesterday I saw that DH received a what appears to be obviously an accidental email from a former, younger female employee. The email was addressed to a group, staring 'hi all,' and from what I could see, was all about writing content for a website. Nothing to do with what DH does. DH just left the email, didn't reply, and went back to his inbox. He never mentioned it to me, but why would he? A silly accidental email is no piece of news really...

This employee left the company after an internship with my DH's business last summer.

As a bit of background, most of DH's work was from home, so he didn't see this woman in person all that often.

I used to suspect that DH was a bit too chatty and familiar with this young woman, although he never contacted her inappropriately outside of work. I met her several times when I went with DH to the office, and he always seemed smily and enthralled with her and what she was saying, which I did have words with him about, and he did later tone this down.

I wonder whether this girl 'accidentally on purpose' sent this email, in an attempt to strike up a conversation with DH? If so, would it be worth me telling DH to block her? I did used to wonder whether she liked the attention he gave her before I had words with him (she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc). I could of course just be overthinking this

@roses19837 mumsnet has gone weirder than weird with comments going completely one way or the other with nothing in between , you've explained why your anxious and don't blame her but still the negative comments are coming, another day answers would be the complete opposite 🧐🤦‍♀️

You sound nice.

Christ is there some massive drip feed that it turns out your DH is a serial cheater? If not you need help OP.

Why do you think an email addressed to a group is to get your husband's attention? If that was the case im sure she would have solely emailed him.

It sounds like you don't. If you trust him, 100 women could send him naked pics and it shouldn't bother you!!

I agree.

@roses19837 just give a rest and move on. Nothing to see here.

So what's prompting you to check his emails and WhatsApp messages?

In that case, you have zero right to police his 'gawping' and 'stupid chit chat'. Do you also choose his clothes for fear that left to his own preferences he might wear outfits that you consider gormless?

She might or might not have fancied him and enjoyed the attention and flirty back and forth. We can't know. She was an intern at work, dressed smartly at work and responded with seeming interest to the much older far more powerful boss and owner when he engaged her in lengthy conversations. For all we know she was internally screaming "if i weren't entirely dependent on you for this job I would tell you 'shut the fuck up you old creep and stop eying me over with that pervy look on your face. Your poor wife saw you, she knows you're pathetic, just grow up and let me get on with my work.' God I wish I worked somewhere where the boss wasn't also the owner and a middle aged letch."

We don't know do we. Meanwhile it certainly sounds as though he fancied her, or did a very good impression of fancying her. That is his fault not hers. If the only thing stopping him returning to being a middle aged letch - which is what you are worried about - is never having anything do with her again, then that is not her fault now is it.

Maybe he saw some (work) potential in her and felt like a mentor/responsible manager as business owner or even father figure and wanted to support her career?

Why do you imagine there was inappropriate attraction from him?

Why do you imagine she was interested in him other than a boss/employer?

And she has left.the business. Get over it

Sorry for butting in.. but imo, she's got trust and perhaps jealousy issues because of the personal comments towards this poor lady.. but mainly she doesn't trust him.

Bloody hell. No wonder years ago wives of bosses were against women being hired in offices in case they tempted the men 🙄 I thought that we were past this and women could talk to men professionally? You are hindering women professionally with this attitude.

-Accidental repost-

'I think she might be looking for attention, do you think it might be worth blocking her?'

I'm cringing for you OP.

You think telling him he's not allowed to receive marketing emails from a former colleague is appropriate behavior? You're as mad as the OP!

You sound a bit mad.

I’m sorry but this does sound bonkers for someone that has been married this long. There’s no way I can read my husband’s emails from just walking past. I think you are massively over thinking this and the female colleague is in no way to blame here.

he did used to eye her up, grin like a Chesire cat, and act ....he gave her more attention and stared at her a few times in my presence

I would love to know the ratio of young interns who relish the attentions of a man 20 years older and would be keen to have an affair with their middle aged married boss
Compared to how many are sick to death of pretending to be interested in the prolonged conversation of the boss who keeps staring at at perving over them, even when his wife is there. I'm willing to bet there are far far more women in he second category.

Agree! Think most of the young women I know would be squirming to get away from an older gent perving at them.

Wow you are overthinking this!

This is crazy. No way did you just glimpse his email. I have never read any of my DHs emails even though we both work from home. If you were a man saying this about his wife people would be mentioning coercive control. Your behaviour is unhinged.

You can blether about trusting your DH but you don’t OP. Because you’re clearly feeling insecure about this, and it’s bothered you. If you trusted him, this wouldn’t have even registered.

So first you just wanted to control & coerce him & now you want to gas light him into blocking an ex colleague cos you are insecure?!

I suggest you spend your time talking to a therapist instead of poking through your husbands emails & thats without considering the gdpr considerations of you being in his work emails

he ignored the email, thats the end of it

she seems like the kind of young woman who would like attention, always dressed immaculately and hair styled etc

This comment has really pissed me off. So a professional woman dressed professionally must only be dressing for attention and the male gaze? Grow up!