Dh sulking after being away

[Overitagain88]

Dh has been away for a couple of days with work. Left sunday lunchtime and back today about 16:00 so just over 48 hours away. And is now sulking that we haven't all made a massive fuss about him being home

For context there is me and 2 kids at home (9 and 5) i WFH on a tuesday and had just got back from school run (agreed I take a later lunch break on WFH days) and was just jumping on a call as DH came back

Kids were up playing in their bedrooms and didn't hear DH walk in

We then had to leave for a sporting activity we do on a Tuesday about 30 minutes after he walked in so it was all a mad rush and he is now in a strop saying we all should have made more of an effort to welcome him home

I've also had to feed the pets, sort the washing, lunches for tomorrow and finish off some work while hes sulking

My thoughts exactly!

My DP works away all week every week… but he’d think I’d lost the plot if I fussed over him like a returning hero!

spoiler - the Ddog goes bloody nuts when she sees him😁

Its just a tiny diversion in a busy week, surely?
Mine likes a lager and a shower, a cuddle and a catch-up… not a massed marching band playing “welcome home” 😳

When DH was away with work he would FaceTime and if I didn’t answer straight away, because you know I was at home working kids and the dog and working he would have such a pissed off look on his face when I answered and I mean it was the first time calling not like multiple attempts from him.
Then he had to stay in the place for longer and i said “oh ok” and he had this weird rant how I wasn’t bothered blah blah.
Stupidly I handled it with empathy and tried to make him feel better but in hindsight I should of just flipped at him. I did get the feeling he had been up to something he should not have been but never found any proof so I let it go.
OP you should be firm with him about his behaviour and he needs to apologise to your child.

Did you make a mistake in your username? Were you actually born 1882, as that's the only reason I can think of why you'd assume he was the "breadwinner" despite OP clearly also working, to the point she sacrifices a lunch break to be able to do the school run.

And as for exhausting trip- again any actual evidence? It could have been an all expenses paid corporate jolly - either way his job would have likely finished after a few hours with a hotel to relax in, whereas OP had a 48hr sole shift with the DC.

If anything he should have come home, said hi to her and then taken the kids to their activity himself if he missed them so much.
Being grumpy about his lack of welcome (after 48hrs ffs! He's hardly been fighting in the trenches for half a decade) is one, embarrassing and pathetic thing, but shouting at his child to the point said child is still upset the next day, is quite another, and I'd be struggling to forgive him if he came to his senses and apologised for being a complete knob, let alone apologise myself!

He then proceeded to shout and scream at our eldest as they didn't come down at all until told to
Sorry, what?
What a cunt.

I think this nails it!

Eh, I'd be a bit sad if nobody really gave a shit if I was home after two days away - but shouting and screaming at your kids after walking through the door? Ridiculous, petulant behaviour. That's a sure fire way to get people excited for your return.

Does he struggle to process his emotions like an adult a lot, OP?

What a Twaunt.

Do you live in "Pleasantville" (1998 film) where you're expected to wait by the door in a frilly apron with a cocktail when he returns home each day and says "Honey, I'm home!"? If so, then his reaction was perfectly normal.

Bloody hell he sounds about 5 🤣

A mantrum. How attractive.

Nothing wrong with acknowledging your husband, you know, even after you have little darlings.
(Sarcasm).

DH travels a lot for work and when he gets home he likes to have a bit of time to decompress, wash hands, have a drink or whatever. He'd hate to have us falling over him as he walked in.

Thanks for all the replies

Today hasn't been much better. Dh was in a foul mood all last night, we argued over something so ridiculous I don't even know what it was and is now making sarcastic comments to everything I say so i'm just talking.

I have read all of the posts on here and althought I can't reply to all i do appreciate them all

For context, DH goes away every couple of weeks. Varies in length. The last time he went away it was for a week and when he came back he was in a bad mood again, but this was because at some point he had tried to call me, I was busy (working) and because I wouldn't have an extended call with him because I was on a work call he started ranting about how lonely he was being away and how no one missed him

He will throw the fact I was on a call back at me as he thinks I priotise work over him (and during working hours unless there has been an accident or something I probably do as he is a grown man)

When i go away, I am lucky if I even get a look up from his phone from him

NPD

@Overitagain88 you hardly get a look up if things are reversed? And he makes a huge fuss when you don't bow to his demands. Honestly, he's a real...

Sounds like he's picking fights to justify his affair

Him going away for work ----oooh such hard real work
You on a work call - Why can't she stop prioritising stupid work calls and talk to Me Me Me.. I am the priority.

Getting annoyed about the call is just an excuse. He was looking for an excuse to kick off.

He's going on about feeling not feeling missed/welcomed - and yet it seems he's overlooked the fact that its becoming a pattern for him to come home and be horrible to all of you.

What does he expect to achieve with this behaviour. I get the impression that what ever the welcome he'd find something to moan about.

I would just carry on. Take the kids out somewhere nice and let him get on with it. But also I'd be thinking about how much of this nonsense I'd be willing to put up with.

He seems to think your job is of a lesser value to his own. How would it be if you interrupted his work day because you were lonely?

My first thought, somethings going on while he’s away, then he gets the hump when he has to come home to his normal life

what would happen if you lost your shit and told him a few home truths?

The he is selfish, needy and childish? That no you dont miss a man who behaves like that, a man that sulks and shouts at his kids, who likes the money and lifestyle that comes from you working but resents that it takes your attention away from him? If you properly yelled that you are sick of his behaviour, that the way he treated your child is abusive and that he can talk to you when he has grown the fuck up?

I’d love to know what kind of relationship he has with his children nowadays, presuming they are now adults?

This would be my first thought too if this is out of character. The behaviour isn’t okay of course but angry outbursts and acting out of character are signs of stress, depression or other mental health crises.
I’d be so shocked by my husband if he did this alarm bells would be ringing for me.

I have read that’s a thing. You’d think the opposite would be true, showering with affection to not give the game away. I suppose though, if they’d rather be somewhere else maybe they do their best to get kicked out as they’re too gutless to walk out on their own accord.

@Overitagain88 could he be cheating?

The final sentence needs to be immortalised in blazing lights.

Sorry Op but does he shout a lot at your children / one of your children?

sulking / silent treatment is emotionally abusive behaviour.

please seek help, this is not normal and you and your kids deserve so much better.