Dh sulking after being away

[Overitagain88]

Dh has been away for a couple of days with work. Left sunday lunchtime and back today about 16:00 so just over 48 hours away. And is now sulking that we haven't all made a massive fuss about him being home

For context there is me and 2 kids at home (9 and 5) i WFH on a tuesday and had just got back from school run (agreed I take a later lunch break on WFH days) and was just jumping on a call as DH came back

Kids were up playing in their bedrooms and didn't hear DH walk in

We then had to leave for a sporting activity we do on a Tuesday about 30 minutes after he walked in so it was all a mad rush and he is now in a strop saying we all should have made more of an effort to welcome him home

I've also had to feed the pets, sort the washing, lunches for tomorrow and finish off some work while hes sulking

That doesn't excuse the shouting at one of the kids and sulking. He's an adult.

Only immature men are. Lots of men are capable of communicating with their wives.

Like i said, no it doesn't.

Just about any time someone flies off at the deep end for seemingly no good reason, there's something else behind it. I'm just saying, i'd find out what that thing is. Not bc it's a woman's job to fix men, but so that he can confront what's really eating his arse and deal with it whilst aknowledging his way of reacting was 100% unacceptable. I just find this a better way of dealing with a situation like this instead of having a go back, or getting the hump myself.

There is truth to this. We can all pile on and call this guy a turd, and admittedly it is certainly satisfying and therapeutic, but that doesn't necessarily help the OP. When we've all redirected our own past grievances at this turd, and for it out of our systems, and the thread lies dying in its embers, OP has to actually live with this guy. There has to actually be a way forward for her, which unfortunately requires someone to initiate reconciliation. @Muffsies is just offering one such route.

What a childish prick. Why are you wth this needy child?

He expects respect without actually earning it. You've got a frustrated dictator in your house.

Even your dc know he's not worth the effort. He was only away two days! And you work. Noted he wasn't rushing home to help with the dc activity.

Do you all normally make a giant fuss when he walks through the door? I'm afraid I'd likely to tell him to fuck back off again, seeing as he just brings misery and bad temper. He doesn't even like the fact his dc are happy playing.

Any normal father would have gone upstairs and given their kids a big hug. He sounds like a terrible human.

And some bullying pricks are just that.

He came home and immediately started to abuse his children and wife?

What an absolute fucking disgrace he is.

Find your anger op and dish it up to him cold.

I suggested a similar, measured approach earlier in the thread. It was not well received 😄

Beesandhoney123 · Today 08:42
"He expects respect without actually earning it. You've got a frustrated dictator in your house."

Totally this

What the?! I really hope this is a joke.

This!! Mine would have been straight up there hugging them and joining the game.

He sounds like an abusive loser.

This!! Mine would have been straight up there hugging them and joining the game.

He sounds like an abusive loser.

Tell him next trip not to bother coming home.

Umm so you think the fact he was waiting downstairs giving his children an impossible test is not extremely worrying?

Why could he not have gone upstairs and given them a hug? Even without “drip feed”.Sulking is also abusive because he’s giving the silent treatment to her and kids for no reason other than he thinks he is the king.

@Overitagain88 how often is he like this with your kids? Especially the 9 year old?

If it’s more than just this once it would be ultimatum time. Either he sorts his shit out with therapy. Or he goes. You log everything from now on of times he is verbally abusive to the kids as this will be relevant for custody etc.

If it was genuinely a one off, he was hangry/something happened before he got home etc. AND he is genuinely sorry for it. Well you explain that you are not the bloody Von Trapps. He had the time off while you were doing everything else so he should have been the one making effort with you!!

Heres how it could have gone if he wasn’t an idiot:

• brings you up a cup of tea
• goes to the kids room and plays/gets a hug
• help get ready for activiry
• all have a nice time

Ffs he went away for 2 days and expects a huge fuss?

Geez its not like hes been at war for 6 months with hardly any communication 🙄

Does he expect to be fawned all over every time hes been out the house? Should you be hugging him and thanking the universe for his safe arrival home after he takes the bins out too?

What a pig

was he expecting banners on the door saying welcome home,

Good grief! How utterly pathetic.

OP, show your 'd'H this thread so he can be embarrassed by his ridiculous (abusive) behaviour. Shouting at a 9 year old because they didn't come downstairs to say hello?!

And get some bunting and a banner next time 'oh great one' returns from his jolly...

He screamed at your eldest son because he didn't rush downstairs to give him a hero's welcome? He's been away for a couple of days for work. He hasn't just come back from months away fighting a war FFS.

He could have gone upstairs to see his kids and to tell them how much he'd missed them.

He sounds like a self-absorbed narcissistic arsehole. He was totally in the wrong for shouting at his son and upsetting him for the rest of the evening/night.

First thing that occurred to me too.

Breadwinner? OP works so she is as much a breadwinner as her twat of a husband.

You have no idea how exhausting the trip was. I presume that he was in a hotel and eating in restaurants with no child care responsibilities. Why on earth does he deserve any respect?