What fresh hell is this

[eggsandsourdough]

High school!!

DD started last year and jesus fucking christ what a rollercoaster.

The transition has been absolutly brutal, not so much for my DD in the sense she made a huge group of friends but the sheer drama, behaviour,shocking stories.

My lovely, kind empathetic grl has turned into a monster.

I was not ready!! What a humbling experience.

I sympathise - but need to say, there are Christians on here so would appreciate holding back on the swearing using holy names.

Why not? They’re just words.

Has anyone else had a delightful, easy DS all the way through secondary school but then it’s gone to shit in sixth form? Mine was pretty great all the way up to doing his GCSEs last summer and since then we’ve had all the angst, mental health issues, lack of motivation, back chat, grumpiness, generally just descending into the typical teenage stuff that I was warned about but didn’t materialise when I expected it to. It’s knocked me for six because he was always so cheerful and easy going. (And yes, I’ve got him in therapy for the mental health stuff and am being supportive before anyone asks).

Its incredibly offensive to anyone that's Christian.

It does get better! I’ve had a son go through high school with no dramas, a daughter there currently- 2nd & 3rd wtf was that 🤯 she’s finally settled & on track to do really well in her exams this year! Nat 5 in all her subjects & is staying on to do 5th & 6th year- honestly the way she was going I would never have guessed this would happen. Youngest son starts this August so waiting to see what that brings! 😂

My daughter is year 8 and it has been absolute he'll. SEN child but managed primary really well even received good SATS grades and attendance was always high.
Currently battling emotionally based school avoidance, absolute sobbing meltdowns, featal position of a morning wearing just school shirt and a pair of pants as putting the shirt on alone is that triggering...... I did not foresee the transition from primary to secondary being this hard.
Did have EHC needs assessment mediation with Local Authority yesterday who have agreed to assess 🎉, so praying a full plan is given and i can find another provision for her.
So any parents of SEN children in primary, even if they are doing well now..... prepare yourself if your child is going to s mainstream secondary

I had god awful toddler years with dd, so her teen years have been a piece of piss.

Both dc lost friends starting secondary, largely because they behave and don't want to get involved in shit.

Ds had a pretty tough time fitting in in ks3 and he's never found his tribe. Hoping 6th form will work for him. Dd would like to be cool, but cool=naughty in their school, so she's too scared.

We're fairly easy going parents, but even then, I've been amazed at the lack of attitude from them both. Although we were strict when they were little, and they know I'd wipe the floor with them off they tried to be twats. I can be quite unpredictable in my responses, which keeps them slightly wary.

Sorry that I'm so late in replying to this.

"Suddenly i have become "weird" and "embarrasing""

Then just lean in to it.

Here is a youtube short of parents (in America) picking up their children from school and being "embarrasing"

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/FPrA_Iwdg0o

When you gave birth didn’t that little red book come attached
explaining the hell you are going to face when they become teens 😱,and the option to return your precious gift. 😂

Both my girls have been fairly spitefully dumped by primary school friends in year 7 - they haven’t learned the art of the quiet fade yet so they have to split up with a bang. They establish a pecking order in a new place and it can give their sense of self a real battering. My oldest has been up and down difficult since, younger daughter still in the thick of it but has a much bigger personality and more friends so seems to be holding her own….it is really hard!

First child Y8 - Y10 were pretty horrible 😭.

Second child (boy) absolutely fine and lovely throughout. 😇

Third child (girl) has basically been dragged up. She’s ok overall, buf can be lazy. Some drama in Y9, but ok after that!

First child is also a girl.

If it’s any consolation, it’s not always bad! I wasn’t a bad teen, but I did go off the rails in my 20s…hard! I just never wanted to let my Mum down - if I did anything disappointing she would run a bath, sit in it for hours and cry. Also no boys fancied me as a teenager which I am so thankful for as it kept my out of trouble (until I hit my 20s).

My youngest starts Year 7 in September. Having experienced it with his brother, I know by December my loving, bubbly, polite and cute as a button little guy will have it all drained out of him and he will be someone I don’t know or recognise. The shift is huge. They literally knock their childhood out of them. Year 9 is hormonal hell!!!

Sorry this made me laugh

I do not mean to get off the point of this thread in any way, but I do feel that this comment needs addressing.

Yes, of course, they are just words. Personally, I feel that all religions should be talked about freely. I appreciate that some people are offended by casual use of swear words that are used with regard to their religion.

But it is interesting that offensive terms involving one religion (Christianity) are generally accepted, but offensive terms involving other religions are not.

If I were to use a similar phrase relating to another religion then I am sure that this post would be removed immediately. People talk about 'two-tier policing' and a removal of my post for using a similar phrase would be an example of that.

In fact, I am so concerned that MNHQ would remove my post that I will not post the phrase in full. But if I were to say something equivalent like:

Oh M * * * * * * the f * * * * n * * * *

then I'm sure that the post would get deleted immediately. There really is a two tier system when it comes to religions.

Yes, absolutely if I was condoning the use of offensive words with regards to Christianity but objecting to the use of offensive words with regards to other religions then yes, the would be massively hypocritical. Luckily I believe in equal opportunities in terms of being offensive!
You’re probably right in a general sense though.

God I have had it easy, I was dreading the teenage years but my 2 boys seem to be sailing through, I was very toughlove mum from the early years, not sure if that helped or just been lucky, they are no angels but not they are respectful at home and at school/college. Lets hope I havent spoke to soon, my approach is lots of love and affection and being open to any chats or conversations they want. But tough when I have needed to be, always parented like that wasnt always easy though. Also I think it depends on who they befriend and how easily influenced they are. I just think I have had it lucky.

I went to an all girls boarding school in the 90s and don’t remember too many silly dramas and constant ups and downs. Maybe because we were all stuck in one place we had to get on? Of course people did fall out but I don’t remember what you describe (or perhaps I have blanked it out!) …I suppose my mum was lucky she lived on the other side of the world and didn’t have to hear about any shenanigans

I work in education and I concur.

My daughter started S1 this year. All was going ok ish. Then it started. A few weeks ago she skipped school for the first time. Just first period. Told the school she forgot her bag and had to go home. School bought it. Then a few days later she skipped 4th period. School though she was in the toilet. She had actually left school. Then this week... Fkn vaping

High School is brutal. DD1 is an oh so sophisticated year 9 and the friendship drama in her peer group and year group is insane!

I cannot keep up with it. One minute it's " love you or love you baby" the next it's X had fallen out with Y and Y is "totes hateful " .

DD, since starting year 9 has a lot more attitude. She is currently up in her bedroom at the moment sulking because I have taken her mobile off her, as she had a load of attitude this morning about being late for the school bus ( we live rurally) because he school bag didn't sit or look right on her shoulder and because her Nike crew socks " are actually my life" and she had to wear plain white crew socks " which have absolutely ruined my life" because madam would not bring her dirty laundry downstairs when asked yesterday!

in her world I am " the worst mum ever" because I refused to get up at the crack of dawn and wash her socks and dry them ready for her 07:45,AM departure! Because as you know any decent parent is up at 05:00 washing their DD's preferred socks, so she doesn't " look tradge" ( uncool) in school.

I am having different experiences with each of my boys.

DS1 was pretty great up until Year 10. Hardworking, good company. Then turned grumpy & embarrassed to know us! Now 17 & is good about 50% of the time. Still hardworking but sometimes forgets parents are human!

DS2 (ADHD/autism) had an amazing Year 7. Won awards, made friends, charmed all the staff. Couldn't have been better. Then he developed epilepsy 😬 Since then academics have been increasingly harder for him, he has lost all his friends & started to get stroppy & rude sometimes. Now Year 10. Still 80% lovely but the times he's not are tough.

DS3 is 12, Year 7. So far, so good, 99% of the time. Working hard, still happy to be seen with me, no friendship dramas. I'm well aware this may change so I am relishing every hug he gives me, long chat he has with me etc 🥰

DD is year 10 now and so glad Yr 9 is done. My teacher friends told me it was the worst and they were right. A year of mean girls, everyone falling out then being best friends and tears constantly. It is getting better although still hard going. DS is yr 8 so far so good. He is a laid back kid and very easy going. Just dreading next year in case it is the same as his sister!

Yes, what a delight that has been!