What fresh hell is this

[eggsandsourdough]

High school!!

DD started last year and jesus fucking christ what a rollercoaster.

The transition has been absolutly brutal, not so much for my DD in the sense she made a huge group of friends but the sheer drama, behaviour,shocking stories.

My lovely, kind empathetic grl has turned into a monster.

I was not ready!! What a humbling experience.

I have a few colleagues who are in this position at the moment. Very challenging young adult DC with lots of issues, they're supporting them practically, financially and emotionally but can't actually do anything to prevent them from flunking out of uni/refusing mental health support/staying in toxic relationships etc because they're technically adults. It seems like a really stressful life stage where there's so much that can go wrong and parents are really limited in how much they can intervene but still end up picking up the pieces.

Something to look forward to 🙄

Teacher of over 30 years. It used to be Year 9 that were feral. Currently, it's Year 8. Utter bonkers. Also one group of Year 10 but not my other. It's funny, my mum, also a teacher, always says that Year 9 were the bane of her life. My current Year 9s are an absolute delight. Dunno how you parents cope with some of the children I encounter. I often have parents asking me how to deal!

THIS

its like an alien takes over their body and then they start returning to a reasonable, happy and pleasant person again.

grit your teeth and just get through it without anything really terrible happening.

it’s worse with girls, boys tend to be more withdrawn, less dramatic! Our experience anyway with 2 girls/1 boy!

My lovely, sweet, kind, emotionally intelligent step son did the same. He was awful for a couple of years but emerged unscathed at the other side, and he’s a joy again now.

I think this is much more of a girl thing than you get with boys (going from my experience of two boys). My eldest is 14 and in year 10, youngest is 12 and in year 7 (started last September). So far it’s all been pretty easy going, a few minor hiccups with the younger one and a boy in his class being a bit unpleasant, but nothing that wasn’t quickly resolved (and the kid was unpleasant to everyone so it wasn’t targeted or bullying or anything). They go to a very small school though (~40 children in each year group) which I think helps as more or less everyone knows everyone. Plus my boys are sporty, which means they have lots of friends and teammates rather than just their classmates, and they are both quite kind, easy going, low drama sorts, and don’t seem to ruffle peoples feathers too much.

Theres a lot more drama at my nieces school - she’s 12 and at a big comprehensive. She changes friends on a daily basis and is often in tears about friendship issues. Once heard year 9 is the worst with girls!

Two of my DC are secondary school teachers in Scotland and would wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment.

Dd 13 is year 8, although her big friends group from primary school has mostly split sh/e still gets pulled into drama. Shes never at the forefront but other people drag her in. The teenage girls of today are something else. She tried to stay neutral especially when it’s within the friend group. Luckily she’s made herself another little group of friends where the drama seems non existent. I mean dd attitude has defo raised a few notches and her sass is through the roof but she’s not one for the drama.

DD started to become hideous in yr 7 with the crescendo in yr 8.

DS was a delight in yrs 7 and 8 still so I thought I had gotten away with it. But no, no, that was foolish. Yr 9 he turned into Kevin from Kevin and Perry.

They say that teenager have to become monsters so that we’re willing to let them fly the nest off to uni. If they stayed as adorable as when they were toddlers, we’d never let them go!

Personally, I’m counting down the days till they go to uni! They are getting better now but fuck me, I’m so tired!

sounds botty, tbh.

My daughter was absolutely VILE from y8 - just about last term (y13)

Grim.

My children went to same sex schools. Daughter very tricky from yr8 to yr 10 ,she then grew up.She is an amazing adult now!
The boys were easy throughout their school days. They had solid friends who all wanted to succeed ,so luckily no peer pressure to piss around.

Sorry, I don't know if you're critising me or agreeing with me, it's very unclear.

I've not read the full thread, but from what I can see there's no criticism of Scottish schools in particular, just behaviour of pupils of secondary school age.

I'm in an inner-city school in a major city in an area of huge need - SIMD 1 & 2 mainly- & it is challenging, yet joyous: I wouldn't be there if I didn't like it or the children in it. It's not destabilising education, or means you're a poor teacher to say a particular year group are tricky- particularly last thing in the day when they're writing an essay!

Girls mature faster so tend to ho through this stage earlier. Boys do tend to be more stable with less mood fluctuations anyway. Still can have problems though.

Don’t have a boy but from what I see with boy mums the more common issue with them is less falling out with friends than withdrawal. Going silent so being rude that way not interacting with family retreating to room and over gaming. Not sure what’s worse.

It probably is dramatic because it.feels.so.dramatic.

Im not dramatic, the stories and behaviour is.

Do i pander to it, absolutely not 😂but she IS a monster right now and its great to hear other people have felt/feeling the same and my daughter isnt abnormal.

Im sure (praying) she will come out of it and in 10 years time she will be great 😂

Appreciate the clarification, wouldn’t have managed without it.

😆

Yes, without that correction of course none of us would have had any idea what you were talking about and therefore wouldn’t have been able to even begin to respond to your thread with our own experiences… oh wait.
ignore the pedants OP!

My daughter had the terrible twos until she was about 12. Since then she has turned into a lovely young woman. Wouldn't swap those years for anything. I won't accept attitude from my children.

My daughter is in school in Scotland so she is not in big school until next year, Instead of this year. So she starts school when she is 12 she as ADHD and ASD so her behaviour is getting a bit worse I'm not looking forward to her starting big school

Sorry but that's your problem to deal with......non Christians aren't offended as they don't even believe in Jesus so they are allowed to say it.....

My children went to XYZ High School, so luckily I knew what OP meant. Otherwise I’d have been completely lost…

How is this thread bashing Scottish schools? All I’ve seen is people discussing the differences between Scottish and English year groups / ages they start / ages they finish? I don’t think a single post has implied Scottish kids or schools are worse?

It’s not that hard to figure out.

@TheWineoftheChicken sorry, that was meant to be a sarcastic response to the poster who ‘helpfully’ corrected the OP re ‘secondary school’.