What fresh hell is this

[eggsandsourdough]

High school!!

DD started last year and jesus fucking christ what a rollercoaster.

The transition has been absolutly brutal, not so much for my DD in the sense she made a huge group of friends but the sheer drama, behaviour,shocking stories.

My lovely, kind empathetic grl has turned into a monster.

I was not ready!! What a humbling experience.

She will come out of it when she is about 16 from my lived experience and will be fine and do well.

All I can say is, wait for yr 9 to kick in!

good luck, pick your battles and don’t get stressed because it’s not worth it…

I can relate to that—the teenage years were more difficult for me.

I went to an all girls grammar that thought it was "exclusive" and the negative effect it had on my self-esteem has shaped my whole life. Constant criticism, my apparently endless stupidity and lack of any discernible talent were all I ever heard about. When I applied to college and was accepted the interviewers fed back to me that they could not get over the contrast between how I came across and the things the school had said about me. Apparently I had "substandard intelligence" and was "not grammar school" material" So my experience informed the way I approached my child's secondary school experience. I boosted their self esteem, focused on all their talents including the non academic ones such as emotional intelligence, kindness and communication skills. Had a couple of years when they found me an embarrassment but that is part of being a teenager. These was all in the days prior to social media and my heart goes out to parents trying to manage this and the way it seems to permeate all aspects of life. I live ner a couple of secondary schools and the whole area is aware of when the kids come out, they seem to take over the pavements, the local shops and the buses, terrifying! They look like adults but of course they are all still so young. Good luck everyone

Mine have always been quite nice and pretty much all Bar one of my friends kids are nice again post 16.

I used to host Italian girl teens and dreaded 13-14 - 16 plus were soooo much easier. Must be hormonal.

No drama here, thankfully. DS is yr 9. Maybe because it’s an all boys school, or maybe because it’s a selective school. Maybe both! I feel lucky though.

I had no idea England had an extra year at secondary!

My son did his Nat 5s (equivalent to GCSE grades 4-9 I've just found out!) age 15, and now he'll do his highers age 16, and he's one of the oldest in his year!

I went to university as a mature student and I remember some of them talking about having to get fake ID's for freshers week.

@GlasgowGal2014 I didn't read your username and have just explained to a Scottish person how our kids are younger 😂Sorry!

That's ok 😂 I know it's a bit off-topic, but the discussion about how OP's level at school relates to the English system has been a bit of an eye-opener for me! Like your son I was 15 when I did my standard grades, 16 when I did my first set of highers and then I was 17 when I went off to university (with my fake ID in my pocket 😂). Our school also does accelerated Nat5s so some kids will sit them in S3 when most of them will still be only 14. Until I got involved in this thread I couldn't get my head round how my niece who lives in England and turned 15 last year won't sit her GSCEs until May 2027!

OP - hang in there! My kids are younger, but I have heard that S2 is the worst and by the time they're in S5 they've largely reverted to being human again.

I was actually 15 when I started my highers because I was one of the youngest in the year! Exams were after I turned 16 though.

I'm now going to go down a rabbit hole and see what the differences are in terms of achievement. I've always thought that going to school when you've just turned 4 that summer was too young compared to ours needing to be at least 4.5, but I think being older when you sit exams might be more helpful. Interesting.

Feel really lucky. I was dreading the teenage years because I was an utter pig as a teen. Tbf I had my reasons, my childhood was abusive and I was desperate to get away. I was terrified my DD’s would start throwing tantrums again as they did when they were small- that we’d have lots of shouting, slamming doors etc. They’ve been super chill so far. 14 and 15, in year 9 and 10 so I guess there’s time…

Same here re starting highers at 15 and sitting the final exams at 16! And I tend to agree that I'd always thought our system was positive because kids started formal schooling a bit later, but also that it's not great that they're being put through exams at such a young age! As my kids get older I'm realising that educational outcomes aren't great in Scotland. I think curriculum for excellence has a lot to answer for.

If she’s started senior school, then buckle up for a hellish couple of years. It’s all hormones and stroppy behaviour. Most do grow out of it though. 👍

God I'm so sorry - this is awful. It's the worst pain isn't it? For them and for you. I'm so pleased to read your DD is now thriving. Something similar happened to my DD - she now has a solid group of lovely friends who really look out for each other whilst the nasty c ow moves from group to group and cannot seem to form any genuine friendships. So rest assured that your DD should not spend a second wondering what she did wrong. It was nothing to do with her....xx

This happened to my DD too and it was horrible. So called best friend just turned on her for no reason and tried to isolate her from everybody. She felt like she had nobody. Not a nice experience at all. We were devastated. I'm great believer in karma though....and within a few short months things totally did a 360 and everyone got fed up of the ring leader girl and she was left on her own as nobody wanted to deal with her bull shit behaviour anymore.
To this day I dont know why she did it! It was a horrible time.

Karma has done her work here too. Dd is now year 12 and massively popular with legions of lovely friends and a great boyfriend. She is invited to every party going. The other girl ….not so much.

I couldn’t agree more 😆

Secondary school is a whole other ball game. Wait until year 8 and 9 come, it gets worse!!!

This is generally the pattern with girls . They turn into absolute horrors for a few years . The bullying and spitefulness is the worst . Strap yourselves in ...

haha this was me......now in Y10 OMG 😫

I’m sort of the opposite in that my daughter had a hellish time at the end of (a crap) primary school and high school has actually been brilliant for her. Just a standard Scottish secondary school, very mixed catchment. Don’t get me wrong, we still have teenage behaviour and there were friendship issues in S1 but it seems to generally be a positive experience for her.

That’s my experience. 1st-4th year was full on angst. Girls can be hideous when it comes to friendships. 5th year has been much better, although we did have some drama the last couple of weeks which is still bumping along, but that’s all tied in with one girl and things that happened in 3rd year.

Why tho? Girls hormones kick in in year 6-8. In year 9 they're sort of through that.

Yr 8 here - girls only school.

The made up dramas have been quite something to behold. Never ending angst.

I say “made up” because when I actually probe as to what the current drama is, there is no real substance behind it but oh my, the angst.

“Hi DD how was school?”

I am never ever speaking to X again”.

2 days later -

“X and I are best friends forever can we have a sleepover?”

But I thought ……. “No, that’s
over Mum - so over 🙄”

“Ok then DD”. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️.

Hormones can take up to 3 years to stabilise. “Kick in” is very different from “stable”.

Why? I am considering giving it to her (year 9) so she can stay in touch with friends. She doesn't like texting on whats app and sc is more fun and interactive.