Would you book a holiday two weeks before DD due date?

[Sleepingallday]

Feeling a bit gutted about this but wondering if I am BU.

I am due my third baby soon, my parents are around half an hour drive from us and are who we are counting on to take care of DC when labour starts.

my parents have booked to go away 2 weeks before the due date. The occasion is the anniversary of their meeting, which I haven’t known them to celebrate much before. They will be in the country but about 5 hours away.

bit more context, my firstborn was a week overdue, second was one day overdue and was a quick birth followed by complications and hospital stay.

We have a couple of other family members who would be around an hour away and less able to drop everything if need be to help with DC.

am I BU to feel hurt that they have booked this? I understand life for them shouldnt revolve around their grandchildren but just thought that I probably wouldn’t do it if my own daughter was due, unless it was a once in a lifetime trip or something . My mum also didn’t tell me, I found out as she told another family member in group chat.

YANBU: I wouldn’t book a trip two weeks from DD due date
YABU: I would book this

I am sorry you are feeling anxious. You say 'you are counting on them' but did they actually agree that they will do this? That would change things for me.

Hard to say if yabu or not. Did your parents expect to be on call for childcare?

Absolutely not. I was on babysitting duty when my sister was due her second and I stayed very local for a month before the due date, just in case. In the end of course the baby came two weeks late but better safe than sorry!

Had you been asked/arranged/confirmed to be on babysitting duty @CallingOnTheMegaphone as we dont know if this applies to Ops parents, op says "counting on them" not that they confirmed they would be on hand

Have you actually asked them to be your childcare and have they agreed? Do you usually have a good relationship? My parents did go away 2 weeks before my due date with my second baby but they let us know and had deliberately chosen somewhere which meant in an emergency they could be back home in just over an hour, I had no issue with that.

The fact its 5 hours away and they haven’t told you makes me think they probably don’t want to be your childcare OP.

Were they even aware you were "counting in them"... that worskng suggests you didn't actually have a conversation with them about it?

How long are they away for? If it’s week 38 to due date then I’d assume they probably don’t want to offer you help at all. If it’s just a week and they’ll be back by week 39/week 40 I dont see a problem

Could your pil help instead?

No I wouldn't, and we have cancelled one that turned out to be a clash. Cruise was booked over a year in advance, then DD1 became pregnant with due date bang in the middle of the two weeks. No way could I be out of the country at such a time! We were also her main source of help with childcare for her first so obviously wanted to be there for that.
I can understand you feel hurt.

They go 2 weeks before? How long are they away for? They probably want to squeeze it in before you ha e the baby and need help after that, you would probably feel the same if they went 2 weeks post partum?

When are they due to come back vs your due date?

I think it depends whether or not they agreed to be childcare for you during the birth. If they did, then I think they are very unreasonable and shouldn’t have agreed to help if they wouldn’t be around (not doing nothing but within a couple of hrs of you) from about 37 weeks onwards.
If they didn’t agree and you were just sort of hoping they’d be around, then I think you are being unreasonable.

No I definitely wouldn’t book anything 2 weeks before. Even if I hadn’t been asked to babysit

edited to remove xxx at the end 😂

We need to know if you actually asked them to be childcare for labour and deliver, how long are they away for?

thanks for the replies. They volunteered to help, have said ‘call us as soon as it starts’ etc, they are normally supportive and helpful with dc. PIL don’t live on the same continent unfortunately

How long are they away for? If they're away for a fortnight, then yes, I'd expect them to have thought about it. But if they're away for 2 nights... Different matter.

Your baby is most likely to arrive in a 4 week period around your due date - but normal distribution curve suggests that it is less likely 2 weeks before your due date. However it is also possible that you baby could arrive 4 weeks or 3 weeks early - would you also expect your paretns to take account of that?

No. If I'd already had it booked it before the due date was announced then I'd probably go if I couldn't reschedule, but I wouldn't book it knowing full well the baby was likely to be born while I was away. Is it just like a long weekend or something?

It seems like an odd and slightly unkind thing to do, especially if they know you are hoping for their help with your other DC while you are in labour.

Are they trying to make some sort of point? Do they feel you rely on them too heavily and take too much for granted? Are they always bailing you out of fixes and you are having this third child with some completely unsuitable neanderthal who you've known for five minutes? Because if not then I'm struggling to understand why they'd do this.

They will be gone for a weekend, back two weeks to the day before due date

I think it's a bit odd that they wouldn't tell you so you could make a backup plan then if they'd agreed to be on call. I have 2 kids and never made it to 38 weeks. But all you can really do is have a backup plan now.

A weekend away?
I know its a big deal to you, but just get someone else on call for a couple of days - with the benifit of it being a weekend, so lots of people will hopefully be at home with their kids.

How long were you expecting them to not make plans for? So they are actually back bang on 38wks, your title suggests they were leaving at 38wks.

I think its perfectky reasonable tbh. And it's a weekend so maybe just make some backup plan if needed - it's likely more people will be willing to help given its a weekend so not having to dip out of work and your parents could make there way back if needed.

My own parents live 4 hours drive away from me, and I have a friend who will mind my kids until my parents arrive when I go into labour in the summer.

YANBU that they didn't mention it to you, but it is only a weekend, so likely they'll be back when needed

Ah, a weekend. I thought you were saying like 2 weeks. Changing my vote

A weekend??

Yes, YANBU. Your OP sounded like they were going away for the whole fortnight until your due date.

You can't expect your parents to put their lives on hold for weeks on the off chance you go into very early labour. Of course they should go away for a weekend to celebrate their relationship.

They will be back two weeks before you are due and are only away for a weekend? Good grief. Their world doesn't revolve around you and they are not unreasonable to have a weekend break when they want to.

Your children's father can look after the other two if you suddenly go into labour early on the one weekend your parents have to themselves.