Would you book a holiday two weeks before DD due date?

[Sleepingallday]

Feeling a bit gutted about this but wondering if I am BU.

I am due my third baby soon, my parents are around half an hour drive from us and are who we are counting on to take care of DC when labour starts.

my parents have booked to go away 2 weeks before the due date. The occasion is the anniversary of their meeting, which I haven’t known them to celebrate much before. They will be in the country but about 5 hours away.

bit more context, my firstborn was a week overdue, second was one day overdue and was a quick birth followed by complications and hospital stay.

We have a couple of other family members who would be around an hour away and less able to drop everything if need be to help with DC.

am I BU to feel hurt that they have booked this? I understand life for them shouldnt revolve around their grandchildren but just thought that I probably wouldn’t do it if my own daughter was due, unless it was a once in a lifetime trip or something . My mum also didn’t tell me, I found out as she told another family member in group chat.

YANBU: I wouldn’t book a trip two weeks from DD due date
YABU: I would book this

If they volunteered to help during labor, I would have expected them to not be traveling or making major plans by the start of week 37 at the latest.

She didn't say she has no-one else to help, just that it'd be trickier for the others as they're further away and perhaps have more responsibilities than her parents.

she told another family member in group chat.

Nice attempt to find a stick to beat OP with, but this was covered in her initial post.

Wouldn't have bothered me, I chose to have children and if I can't cope alone then I wouldn't have had them..my parents are entitled to enjoy there life nice to have there support but never expected them to stop there life each pregnancy that's for me as an adult to sort..however had all 9 as home births so poten made that easier however was prepared to go in alone if needed while dh stayed with kids

Yeah but she failed to say that SHE WAS IN THE GROUP CHAT.... so technically she was told 😂

But where do you draw the line?

What if you wanted to go to a day trip an hour or 2 away?

What about hair or doctors appointments?

I don’t get signal in Tesco, so it could be a good hour before I even check my phone.

At work I can’t just drop everything and run out of the door.

It is cutting it fine but it’s literally only a couple of days and if OP said she’s in labour then it’s likely they’d get there not much later than if they were in the local area but busy in a shop or work etc.

Good point actually. It’s tough for new parents but yeah also in this day and age, many grandparents are still actually working as well.

Sorry op i also voted YABU. I wouldn’t trust the vote count as your op was misleading.

It’s only the weekend, you are being unreasonable. They will be back in plenty of time.

But have a back up plan just in case, have a couple of friends of your DC on standby where you can drop them if needed.

My in laws offered to be childcare for my eldest when due with my second, but then changed their mind to go on a holiday over my due dates. Yes they missed the birth and I think my MIL was gutted really, but totally not your decision. We made other childcare plans (and always had a plan a,b,c anyway) They can holiday any time they want.

I'd be hurt too. Especially as they'd offering to have your other kids. Labour is anytime from 38 weeks, could easily be before.
I'd ask gently if they could possibly go the week before.

I can’t quite work out the tone here but it is really very poor to not have informed the op directly. It’s a big impact if she does go into labour which is perfectly possible.

A weekend at 38 weeks? OK you are being unreasonable.
I assumed you meant they were going away for 2 weeks!

Yes I’d be annoyed and anxious. My first baby was a week late and only came as I was induced. My second was 2.5wks early. Waters broke unexpectedly and labour started immediately.

It’s only a weekend so probably more likely it won’t happen and you’ll need to just hope that baby doesn’t come then.

I actually think that it would ne down to the OP to say "OK so from week 38, I'll need you to stick closeby and have the phones always charged in case I need you"

But again you’re putting the onus the OP. Given that her parents have been through the process themselves, I’d have thought they’d already understand the importance of being contactable and relatively nearby without needing to be told. That’s just common sense surely

They are contactable and nearby. The OP clearly wants them to stop living their lives from an earlier (unrealistic IMO) timeframe...

The OP is having her 3rd child, of course the onus should be on her. Her parents didn't get her pregnant ffs.

Edited for typo

Hmm well I don't generally book trips about other people's lives and certainly wouldn't have expected others to do so when I was pregnant.

But did end up being at the births of 3 of my GC

No

My point is you said the onus is on the OP to be the one to say keep your phones on and be available. Of course they didn’t get her pregnant! That’s just sidestepping the point. But the idea that she needs to instruct grown adults—who’ve already had children—on keeping their phones on and being available at 38 weeks is honestly ridiculous. That’s not “managing expectations,” that’s parenting the parents.

But it isn't 38weeks is my point. They are back by then. My point is that of the OP wants them around for an extended period before the norm of 38weeks she needs to make that clear. Does she want them available 24/7 from 36w, 34w... how are they meant to guess?

Equally baby could be 2w late and induced. Does that mean that the parents or anyone has to keep their whole diary and life free for 5w +

In its entirety, I don’t think it’s unreasonable but not telling you herself is unreasonable. I was away for my Dad’s 60th birthday, but I asked him before booking it. I didn’t have too much scope due to the trip being to watch an NBA game (in Abu Dhabi, not USA where they are regular) on a scheduled date, and also being bound to DS own basketball schedule. However, if he’d been upset I’d have 100% shortened the trip to return earlier. Ultimately it wasn’t me asking his permission, but checking in to gauge his feelings before making the decision.

I wouldn’t trust the vote count as your op was misleading.

Agree

That’s fine then.

I think you are worrying unnecessarily. They most likely planned it so they would be back in time. 2 weeks before your due date is plenty of time

think a conversation could have alleviated much of the OP’s anxiety—reassuring her that they’ll return well before things begin, and that they’re able to come back sooner if necessary. OP said they have a good relationship and they’re normally supportive so it sounds like the parents are happy with the arrangement and likely did plan it so they would be back but communicating this would’ve helped I think