Would you book a holiday two weeks before DD due date?

[Sleepingallday]

Feeling a bit gutted about this but wondering if I am BU.

I am due my third baby soon, my parents are around half an hour drive from us and are who we are counting on to take care of DC when labour starts.

my parents have booked to go away 2 weeks before the due date. The occasion is the anniversary of their meeting, which I haven’t known them to celebrate much before. They will be in the country but about 5 hours away.

bit more context, my firstborn was a week overdue, second was one day overdue and was a quick birth followed by complications and hospital stay.

We have a couple of other family members who would be around an hour away and less able to drop everything if need be to help with DC.

am I BU to feel hurt that they have booked this? I understand life for them shouldnt revolve around their grandchildren but just thought that I probably wouldn’t do it if my own daughter was due, unless it was a once in a lifetime trip or something . My mum also didn’t tell me, I found out as she told another family member in group chat.

YANBU: I wouldn’t book a trip two weeks from DD due date
YABU: I would book this

They are away for a long weekend, 2 weeks before OPs due date and her other two DC have come after their due date. I suspect they didn’t have a conversation because they didn’t even think one was needed for a 4 day mini break . They are probably going to be doing a fair amount of childcare in the early days as well, so it makes sense to go for a break before the birth.

A weekend away and back 2 weeks beforehand? I think yabu. I thought you were saying they were away for your last two weeks of pregnancy.

If it were 28 weeks, I wouldn’t think much of it. But at 38 weeks, it’s getting to the point where things can happen anytime—hopefully not, of course. I’d just wonder whether it’s worth the risk, especially if they might have to cut their weekend short and rush back. Personally, I’d probably have chosen a different time of year. If it were for something like a wedding, that’s a bit different, but choosing to go away at this stage does seem a little odd to me.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable but you need to let it go. The likelihood of them being home and still able to help out is high. Get yourself some back up for that weekend, just in case.

We weren’t relying on them but my in-laws booked a 3 week holiday, leaving 6 days after our first baby (their first grandchild) was due. They were retired, had multiple holidays a year and could have gone at any time. DH was so upset that they had prioritised their holiday over meeting their first grandchild. So I completely understand your feelings.

Yes!

This thread, to me, is basically the same as the recent one discussing whether or not parents have a moral obligation to help struggling adult children with money/housing. In both instances I've been made aware that other people have a very different take on parenting to me.

I would never, ever go away this close to a due date, whether or not I was expected to offer any help - I would choose to be around so that I could be available if needed. My whole ethos as a parent is to do whatever I can to make the life of my daughter (and now SiL) better. Why have children otherwise?

That's fantastic... but you are also actually allowed to live a little too. 3 nights break not far away for the grandparents sounds lovely given it is in week 37. The rest will do them good considering they'll be helping with the other kids thereafter.

I agree with you! I’m due in June and there’s no way my mum would go away from May-Jul. I had some bleeding a few weeks ago and was happy to go to the hospital on my own and leave my toddler with my husband but my mum insisted on helping with childcare so he could come with me!
We are very much “family first” but it works both ways! If I knew my mum or my in laws were due an operation at some point this year, we wouldn’t be booking a trip around that time incase we were needed!

My DM did this, due back on my due date. Was all fine in the end but yes I was hurt.

That’s changed my mind, it’s unlikely that you will have the baby while they’re away and as it’s the weekend you could ask your other relatives to be available just in case.

But that isn't the same... the OPs parents will be back 2 weeks prior to the due date.

I know. Mine was even more close to the due date but it was fine. I'm trying to be reassuring.

Ah got ya 😂

With a 3rd i'd be expecting it to come a bit early and probably a quicker birth so would not have been booking a holiday if I was them. How long are they going for.
You should definitely line up some other options just in case!

Weekend away 2 weeks before EDD is fine.

My brain initially saw the "2 weeks" and just jumped to the conclusion they are away for 2 weeks from EDD.

Have a back up plan, wish them a happy weekend away - it will all be grand.

They are going for a weekend, 2 weeks before the OP's EDD.

That would be a pisstake expecting that

Why have children otherwise?

Seriously ? You can't think of an answer to that ?
I suspect most parents can think of loads of wonderful times in the 30 years of parenting up until this stage, and, more than likely, in the next 20 or 30 years or however they have left.
What a daft thing to say.

They have arranged a couple of days away at a time that ensure they are almost certainly back a) for the birth, so they can look after the toddler, and b) for the first couple of months after the birth, which most parents would say is the time when they are most grateful for the help and support.

How polite you are.

She was polite... 🙄

I quote: “What a daft thing to say.”

Not my version of politeness, but let’s agree to differ.

a weekend?
seriously?

😂😂 You can quote whatever you like... it was still polite. Maybe you shouldn't be on the Internet if the word daft upsets you