Would you book a holiday two weeks before DD due date?

[Sleepingallday]

Feeling a bit gutted about this but wondering if I am BU.

I am due my third baby soon, my parents are around half an hour drive from us and are who we are counting on to take care of DC when labour starts.

my parents have booked to go away 2 weeks before the due date. The occasion is the anniversary of their meeting, which I haven’t known them to celebrate much before. They will be in the country but about 5 hours away.

bit more context, my firstborn was a week overdue, second was one day overdue and was a quick birth followed by complications and hospital stay.

We have a couple of other family members who would be around an hour away and less able to drop everything if need be to help with DC.

am I BU to feel hurt that they have booked this? I understand life for them shouldnt revolve around their grandchildren but just thought that I probably wouldn’t do it if my own daughter was due, unless it was a once in a lifetime trip or something . My mum also didn’t tell me, I found out as she told another family member in group chat.

YANBU: I wouldn’t book a trip two weeks from DD due date
YABU: I would book this

I wouldn't be upset if my parents did this but I wouldn't do it to my dc.

I think I’d be upset especially as they’ve agreed and you don’t have anyone else to help.

Two days does seem relevant (as does that they will be back the day you turn 38 weeks). Line friends or family members up for that weekend so you don't worry about it.

My mum booked a few days away with her friend six weeks before DD was due... turned out she flew off three days after DD arrived. You cannot predict what will happen.

A weekend away at 37 weeks gestation isn't that bad. Chances are you won't go into labour whilst they are away.

They will only be 5hrs away and in the same country. That is nothing.

Honestly, I think thats fine. Its a couple of days, no more. In any case you do need a plan b - what happens if one of them gets sick just before the birth, or breaks a leg?

As your parents volunteered to help with childcare when you go into labour, then going away 2 weeks before your due date, seems a very odd decision.

Your previous babies were late (even if one was only by a day!), so my guess is that they've assumed you will follow the same pattern, with your third baby.

Personally, I wouldn't have booked a holiday 2 weeks before my daughter gave birth (assuming I had one!), especially if I knew I'd volunteered to help when she went into labour. It's a long way to drive back, if they're needed urgently.

In your shoes I'd be upset, and it's likely to make you feel anxious, whilst hoping baby will stay comfortable inside you, until they return.

You’re being totally U.

Yes it'll be a tense 48 hours🙄

Yes, I would.
I live my own life.

My PIL did this (planned to return 2 days before due date) as both SILs were 2 weeks late, so “all babies come late” me:but my DD and DS1 were only 2-3 days late.

And DS2 was a week early. And they got stuck in New York in the week of the ash cloud in 2010. At the time I thought they were unreasonable but it was their choice.

YABU - they’ve not booked a holiday, they’ve booked a weekend away two full weeks before your due date.

Its a weekend!!! And its 2 weeks before even your due date!!

YABU to expect them to not do anything for the 2 weeks before and be sat waiting by the phone for your call.

Put things into perspective, its 2 weeks before your due date, its just a weekend, and they are only 5 hours drive away.

For that weekend, just have someone else closer who could be on standby for 5 hours while your parents hot foot it back to help. Although its highly unlikely that you will go into early labour at the exact time they are away.

I wouldn’t do it because my parents refused to help me with childcare when I went into labour with DS2 so I’m sure as hell not going to do it to my kids. Saying that though, we live too far away to be called on, but I still wouldn’t want to be away.

This is bonkers — I thought this thread was about your own holiday 2 weeks before but it’s your parents’? For how long before your due date you expect them to sit at home waiting for the call? Three weeks? Or four? Let them go, it will be fine.
I asked a friend/neighbour as emergency back up if things became urgent. It wasn’t ideal and indeed we didn’t need to call her but maybe you could do the same.

They probably thought (quite reasonably) that they'd have a little break before baby arrives. Presumably if baby does arrive early you can contact them, but it is unlikely to happen more than 2 weeks before you are due given neither of your previous 2 were early.

I think given the length of their trip and the time before the dd and the fact it is in the uk, it’s alright.

if the baby stays to come prior to the trip they will presumably cancel and the chance it actually comes whilst they are away is fairly low. Do you have neighbours you can call in in that weekend or a babysitter/friend you can line up. Assuming your parents will be able to come back to you if labour starts you will only need to cover a few hours.

Are you a lone parent?

It’s just so… random?
They volunteered to be there for the kids and then book a weekend away 5 hours away from you (two weeks before due date) to celebrate the anniversary of them meeting? 😂 and then didn’t even tell you?
I’d be upset but it isn’t worth causing an argument over as hopefully it won’t cause an issue. Have a backup plan just in case, even if that means your partner staying with the kids while you labour alone.
I’m looking at labouring alone this year as there’s nobody to have our girls, it’s scary but these things happen.

No, I wouldn’t. I can go on holiday anytime. I’d want to be around day or night for any eventuality.

As a MIL and a mother I can't see the issue. It's for two days, two weeks before the baby arrives. I imagine if things go pear shaped 2.5/3 weeks before the due date, they will cancel.

My best labour was the one I did on my own while my DH looked after out two older DC. I felt less stressed being on my own and because it was third labour I was very in tune with my body. It was me, the midwife and the radio and an hour later my baby arrived.

I think with them just being away for the weekend YABU - the odds are the baby won’t come in that time and you can’t expect everyone to put their lives on hold. Plus they won’t be out of the country. They probably do want to be there once the baby is born, so thinking they’d get the trip in first.

What’s the worst that will happen? Your husband / partner will miss the birth, or part of the time in hospital whilst he rings round for someone else to help, due to having to look after your older child. Which I know isn’t ideal but not then end of the whole world. Your baby will still come just as safely without him there for the duration, and your eldest will be looked after.

I think this is fine OP - don’t make an unnecessary issue of it.

Your baby could potentially come tomorrow!

You can’t expect people to put their own lives on hold and I don’t think them having a weekend away when you’re 38 weeks pregnant is something to berate them for.

Making a big deal of it will just cause an atmosphere and put a downer on both your relationship and the last few weeks of your pregnancy.

Then YABU.