Would you book a holiday two weeks before DD due date?

[Sleepingallday]

Feeling a bit gutted about this but wondering if I am BU.

I am due my third baby soon, my parents are around half an hour drive from us and are who we are counting on to take care of DC when labour starts.

my parents have booked to go away 2 weeks before the due date. The occasion is the anniversary of their meeting, which I haven’t known them to celebrate much before. They will be in the country but about 5 hours away.

bit more context, my firstborn was a week overdue, second was one day overdue and was a quick birth followed by complications and hospital stay.

We have a couple of other family members who would be around an hour away and less able to drop everything if need be to help with DC.

am I BU to feel hurt that they have booked this? I understand life for them shouldnt revolve around their grandchildren but just thought that I probably wouldn’t do it if my own daughter was due, unless it was a once in a lifetime trip or something . My mum also didn’t tell me, I found out as she told another family member in group chat.

YANBU: I wouldn’t book a trip two weeks from DD due date
YABU: I would book this

What are the odds of the baby coming that exact weekend. It’ll be fine. Labour tends to be much longer than 5 hours so just call them when it starts.

Sorry, OP, but I think you're being a bit unreasonable. It's only a weekend, just a couple of nights presumably.

I think, to put your mind at rest, you should line up a few trusted friends or neighbours who could help during that weekend if the need arises.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and try not to worry.

Oh OP, give over! It’s a weekend away when you’re 37 weeks with your third child. How much leeway do you want?

This.

Neither my parents or in laws were anywhere near us when I gave birth. I asked friends to help.

I also wouldn't mention how you feel about this to them, three children is not easy peasy lemon squeezy, you will need their help more than ever.

Oh your update changes things entirely ! A weekend away a couple weeks before due date I’d have no issue with.

You are being very dramatic OP. There must be somebody else to have them if you go into labour? if not, your partner will have to stay with them.

I probably wouldn’t book something so close to DD due date but I also don’t think they’re being unreasonable either, it’s only a weekend away and you said you’ve got family an hour away that will help if needed.

My DH works an hour away from home so if I go into early labour it will be no different

Honestly, don’t make a mountain out of a molehill, especially if they are normally supportive

That does seem strange if they knew your due date and volunteered to be on call for your delivery. Did they make a mistake somehow?

I can see why you feel a bit stressed, but I think since it's only a weekend when you're 37 weeks it's fairly low-risk. I am pregnant and would probably go away for the weekend at that gestation myself, though probably not 5 hours away.

It's a shame they didn't just celebrate a couple of weekends prior to the actual anniversary date, given the circumstances, but what can you do!! Hopefully it will be fine.

Absolutely not.

Thanks again for all the replies. Second birth was five hours from first twinge to birth so this one could be quicker though of course it’s all so unpredictable which is why im slightly nervous in case baby is early.

of course we would manage somehow if this happened though I know the chances are low. I think it’s the fact that my mum didn’t check in or even tell me specifically that’s hurt, she was telling another relative and I happened to see the message.

I didn't actually realise the OP's parents were only away for a weekend, at the time I posted!! I thought it was a week at least!

In which case I change my stance, it's 2 days!!! Yes, you are being unreasonable! You need alternative childcare anyway in case for whatever reason, your parents can't look after their grandchildren when you go into labour.

They are going Friday to Monday if that makes any difference, but I hear the posters saying that a short trip at that point of gestation is not a big problem

Does your DH get the weekends off?

I missed a very important wedding that was clashing with my grandchild’s due date and I wasn’t even needed for childcare. I was gutted to miss the wedding but needed to be around should I be needed. Turns out I could have gone to the wedding as baby was late but you never know.

It's a weekend away not 2 weeks. They are only 5 hours away. I think you are overthinking this.

Away just for the weekend? YABU! Presumably if you start feeling like something’s happening then you can let them know and they will come back. If you need to go to the hospital before they get back then DH can stay with your other DC and then come to the hospital once your parents are there.

Wait now.. you were snooping?

How long did you expect them to stay in situ for? You could have gone into labour very very early. I think YABU, but in your defence pregnancy and nerves can be difficult. So wishing you the best x

Given that it's a weekend away and that they'll be home two weeks prior to your delivery date, add to that your history of going over your due date, I'd relax and just trust the process. Don't let your nerves take over here, OP (easier said than done. I do understand).

Well I can't speak for your mum but if Id agreed to be someone's birth-related childcare Id consider myself "on duty" for two weeks before the due date and two weeks after. Going away for a long weekend just before 38 weeks wouldn't even register as a pot problem, so I probably wouldn't go out of my way to inform them. I might be wrong in that but I wouldn't be intentionally withholding information.

No, it was said in an extended family group chat, with frequent messages and photos etc so sometimes messages get missed

thanks to you and the other posters who have been fair and compassionate :)

OK - for a weekend two weeks in advance, I think is OK. I thought you meant for a week or two weeks.

But you need back up for the 5 hours it would take them to get home if ou do go into labour during those 2 days, 2 weeks early!

And I understand why you would feel a bit 'but what about me?'