AIBU to think DH’s joke after my car crash was inappropriate?

[Laulau3]

Someone went in to the back of my car earlier today when I was returning from nursery drop off. I was in traffic, so no harm done to me, but the car obviously needs some repairs. The man driving stopped and was apologetic and we swapped details.

I called DH and after checking I was okay, he ‘joked’ that ‘he has had more luck than me over the years in smashing your back doors in’. I told him I didn’t see the funny side.

He messaged me later to say I’m being uptight and to get a sense of humour.

There’s a time and a place, surely?

He sounds immature.

He cracks a sick joke in bad taste and it’s immediately your fault for not having a sense of humour? Yuck! 🤮

Once again proof I live in alternative universe

My vagina would seal itself shut forever after that comment.

I can get why you felt it was inappropriate or bad taste especially because you had just been involved in an accident but he was most likely trying to lighten the mood and trying to give you a little laugh. I definitely would forgive him especially if he is normally a caring, good sort. Men can be absolute idiots at times, even the best ones.

Gross and insensitive.

Making a joke wouldn't bother me usually as it was a very minor bump however what he said is disgusting. Is he always so crass? Not much of a catch is he.

I’d not find this funny either. The fixation some men have with anal sex is ridiculous.

Does he usually make such jokes? Not my kind of humour, but I’m not offended. I just find such jokes awkward as I never usually laugh.

I thought from the title that it was going to be a more serious crash and that he was being insensitive. The car crash just created the set up for it, so it’s really just about his general sense of humour?

I would be a bit pissed off. Yes the accident wasn't serious but when I've had accidents in the past I still feel a bit shaken and upset after, and whilst I don't expect support, I think taking rhe piss straight after I'd told my husband would seriously annoy me.

It means the same thing so what’s the difference?

I’d of just eye rolled then got on with my day. I wouldn’t of been offended at his joke or bothered by it

The thing is though, you and your husband obviously share the same type of humour and you would think it funny. The OP didn't and he told her she should alter her ways. If you have to tell someone to enjoy your jokes something isn't right.

But would she have seen the funny side another day?

I really don't think it is the same. The tone is completely different- yours was a sort of "Are you being served?" double entendre.

Perhaps the OP will answer that.

When I was a student I worked a summer in the office of a distribution company, one of the drivers was in a similar accident and the jokes about him getting his back doors smashed in were still going by the time I went back to uni. It's a bit crass, laddy, page 3 reader type humour but I wouldn't be offended

I think this is one of those occasions when you tilt your head and say” Sorry, I don’t get the joke”

Then when he explains it you say” Nope, still don’t get it. Tell it again”

Then when he retells it smile sweetly, “ No, still not getting it. Maybe it’s your delivery, or timing or something.or maybe it’s just not a very good joke. Let’s wait til we see your mum next week and you can try it out on her and see if she gets it”

It was obviously a joke to try and lighten the mood…

why is everyone so uptight about this.?

it sounds like it was a very minor accident, assume the op let him know all was ok etc.

but no, man equals tosser

it did make me giggle to be fair, make light of a shit situation

😂 😂

The joke isn’t funny but sometimes that happens. If he’d apologised I could move on.
Him doubling down — and going to the bother of sending a nasty message — is a problem.
On the whole I find that men who call women uptight about misogynist attitudes and behaviours are not actually very nice

Me and my husband both laughed.....

No he wasn’t referring to forcible anal sex.

you just suggested the OP’s husband is a wanabe rapist. I think thats more offensive than what he said

Man telling bad joke = not necessarily tosser
Man telling bad joke and when woman doesn't find it funny telling her to lighten up and get a sense of humour = tosser.

considering how it happened and what happened your husband was crude