Wanting to have a ffm threesome with my boyfriend but worried I'll get jealous

[TinkyWinkyWonky]

As the title says, basically both me and my boyfriend want to spice things up a bit and want to introduce a third person into things.Neither of us want another man involved and we both find the idea a big turn on.Has anyone on here had any experience good or bad,and how do you deal with feelings of jealousy or are you just caught up in the moment and enjoy it for what it is?

One or both of you is bound to feel jealous

Well at the start of the year,we were just in bed and I said we should spend the year just having fun together,trying new things, exploring fantasies etc etc as I was just thinking out loud and we got onto the conversation.He does lots of things I enjoy , roleplay,acting out certain fantasies etc and we both mentioned having a threesome as it's something neither of us have done before.

Are you into women, OP?

Whose idea was it? If it was your boyfriend's idea, is he providing the other female? Is it an excuse to shag this other person as well, literally under your nose.

I am aware people do this and I am not prudish about it, but I have always thought there is a lot to go wrong.

I am attracted to women yes and it's not a case of him pushing for it anymore than it excites me.As a fantasy I enjoy thinking of being with him and another woman,I just am wondering whether in reality I will get jealous seeing him with someone else,even though I will be too,if that makes sense

I think if you’re already concerned about feeling jealous, that’s your gut telling you not to do this.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, but do it knowing that you are choosing to fulfil the fantasy over keeping the relationship.

There’s a chance that you’ll do it, you’ll both find it fine but nobody wants to repeat it, and you’ll be glad you did it. But there’s a greater chance that you or he will feel jealous; or have a bad time, or someone will feel let down, and that could spell the end of the relationship… so plan it on that basis. Make the decision between exploring the fantasy or keeping the relationship and if it turns out you can do both, if that’s the path you take, it’ll be a bonus.

Get in there, you only live once.

There's a number of books that you should research and read that will give you a range of discussion topics between you and your partner before you try this. It's fun, but needs a strong foundation first.

Also, women who are available and open to join a couple are called a unicorn for a reason.

You need a lot of discussion beforehand about what is and isn't acceptable, both in the bedroom and also in terms of an ongoing relationship. Presumably you want it to be just sex, but do you want to meet the third beforehand, have an ongoing threesome arrangement or it's purely one night only? Are there sexual acts that either of you are not comfortable with and would you be okay with your bf doing those with the third? And so on.

We've been together 2 years.We are both mid 40s,have an active sex life and are open to most things.Maybe I'm just an over thinker as I see things that could go wrong whereas he just things it will be fun,which hopefully it would be.Part of me thinks we should keep it as a fantasy,but the other part of me really wants to give it a go,maybe it would be an amazing experience

@TinkyWinkyWonky

No! Just NO!

Terrible, DREADFUL idea that never ends well. Ever. Someone ends up jealous and hurt, and it will do the relationship no good at all.

Keep it where it is. As a fantasy. There is clearly something missing in your relationship if you want someone else to join in with your sex life. Find out what is it that's missing.

Honestly,I'd prefer it to be a one off,see how it goes,but not have someone else involved anymore than sex.Theres nothing that would be off limits as far as sexual acts go,maybe it's the emotional side of things I'm thinking of ,as in if we enjoyed it,I'd be happy meeting someone else etc but I don't want to start thinking I'm in a throuple,I want to try new things as a couple with an extra

You won't know really until it's too late . I always fancied it but I would feel awkward after . Ideally I'd like to be the OW with a couple.

This makes 'the other woman' sound like a piece of meat, frankly, rather than a human being.

It all sounds very unpleasant. You are basically wanting to use another woman's body as a one off, to play out yours and your bfs fantasies, as though they were a prop for your enjoyment. That's pretty sordid.

I have been with women before yes,just not for years

It is rather grotty isn't it?

I think it will be an emotional car crash

Can you test out scenarios in your mind and see if you have any jealousy response to them? Ideally not sexual fantasies, but focusing on the activity around the act itself. Would it bother you if this other women made your partner really relaxed and comfortable, made him laugh? Would it bother you if he was a bit starry-eyed afterwards, and mentioned a few times how great she was as a person/how hot she was? Do you ever experience jealousy in the general course of your relationship, or would you generally classify yourself as not the jealous type?

These kinds of things might seem minor, but if you experience jealousy at the idea of them, I think it’s a relatively fair bet you’ll experience jealousy if it actually happens.

Sounds unhygienic