Wanting to have a ffm threesome with my boyfriend but worried I'll get jealous

[TinkyWinkyWonky]

As the title says, basically both me and my boyfriend want to spice things up a bit and want to introduce a third person into things.Neither of us want another man involved and we both find the idea a big turn on.Has anyone on here had any experience good or bad,and how do you deal with feelings of jealousy or are you just caught up in the moment and enjoy it for what it is?

TBH you don't sound as though you can handle it. I've had 3sums as part of FWB situationships, they've been spontaneous with no emotions involved. Fun only.

No I wouldn’t like this.

I find woman attractive but I wouldn’t want to be intimate with one. I’m also a jealous person so I know it would be a recipe for disaster.

I’ve had a few exs bring up threesomes and I play along but say only with a man (I never would). They soon change their tune and I’ve dumped every single one the same day they’ve mentioned a threesome.

Yeah I think this

But make sure it's someone you choose and that you dont know, imo

Have fun

Fnaar

This is almost certainly what will happen. The OP's husband will start mooning over the other woman, and he will develop menitonistis, and the OP will start to get jealous and threatened.

Tale as old as time.

Bingo. You’ve found your unicorn, OP.

It really won’t be as exciting as you think.
We toyed with the idea and I said I wasn‘t willing to pay for someone nor use someone as a sex toy and not seen them again so we decided against it (male or female) Moreover I wasn’t willing to risk my relationship for a shag. If it can go wrong, is it worth it?

Anecdote time, my friends did this, they’d been together for nearly twenty years. Divorced a year later. Things just went off the rails. It was opening a box they couldn’t then close. I’d be very wary. And honestly you’re making women sound like things. Not nice.

Goodluck finding a random bisexual woman who would love to have a one off threesome with you and your OH OP. They're not called a unicorn for nothing.

😆

Aside from the valid issues other posters have raised, do you realise that bisexual women aren't generally sitting around waiting to be utilised as an extra to spice up a couples sex life?
It's such a stereotype in certain communities that straight couples look for this and think themselves oh so open minded, but not considering that there's very little incentive for the third party, so much so that what they're looking for is generally referred to as a unicorn!

Edit: cross posted!

I think you should think very deeply about all the things that could go wrong, and all the different ways you might feel jealous and how they’d affect you.

What if you got the impression he was more turned on by the OW than he usually seems to be with you? Would that upset you, or make you feel insecure?
What if you felt he seemed less enthusiastic when you returned to one-on-one sex afterwards - what thoughts would go through your head?
Would you worry about him comparing you to her?
If she made him laugh, or he mentioned her afterwards, how would you feel?

If you already know you’re likely to be jealous, this isn’t going to end well. I’d keep it as a fantasy if you want to keep your relationship.

In my book, 3somes are only for single people/fwb i just don't think they ever work in relationships

Well we have been toying with the idea and we are on a swinging site,we have been speaking to a woman who we both seem to like and the other way round,all spoken about expectations,talked about what we would like to do together etc it's less about finding someone or making clear what we all want and need from the experience,I was just thinking out loud about whether I would feel jealous at the time tbh as it's introducing another person into our sex life albeit temporarily and I just wondered what experiences other people may have had

All this aside, I'd be very surprised if the venn diagram of, women who'd want to participate in your threesome (a very small pool to begin with) and, women you'd want to participate in your threesome, would have much in the way of overlap.

If you can imagine feeling jealous, you are probably going to feel jealous.

You wouldn’t need to post here for advice on whether this is a good idea or not if you were confident you definitely wanted to do it.

Why don’t you try going to a swinging club with your partner? You don’t actually have to involve anyone else, and you might get an idea of your level of comfortability.

If you think this relationship could be long lasting, I’d start with dipping your toe in rather than hopping straight into bed with another person immediately.

I think women are far more likely to be damaged or jealous in this arrangement OP. This is sort of borne out by your own hesitation. The bloke is highly unlikely to be jealous of your sexual antics with another woman, he'll just enjoy the side show.

Why exactly are you asking @TinkyWinkyWonky because despite all the naysayers and warnings about how it can (and very likely will) wreck your relationship, you seem fairly intent on doing it. And now you say you're on a swinging site, with a woman already in mind!

I said don't do it, as have many others, but I fear you will still do it. And I believe you will get jealous when your DH keeps talking about the woman who joined you in your fantasy.

Don't say you weren't warned.

Well can you imagine him having sex with another woman in front of you… picture it… now how does it make you feel?

Tbh I’d just dump him and live on my own. I have lived on my own for at least 25 years though. I definitely don’t like sound of a throuple though! I think maybe you should give it a miss.

Pretty sure it would be consensual by all parties. Plenty of people enjoy this without any coercion.

I've had a fair few threesomes, foursomes and moresomes and I don't get jealous. I am not sure why, but it's clearly something that is in some peoples make up to enjoy that kind of thing. My advice is to have clear boundaries upfront and an exit plan that you both agree to stick to no questions asked. I also suggest you try a swingers club before a planned meet with someone off an app, much less pressure

I know someone who’s done this, they’re now divorced. He wanted to meet the other woman for one to one sex and his wife got wind of it, 🥴

I think that maybe it is the type of thing that is maybe best to keep as a fun fantasy rather than ruin it (and possibly your relationship) trying to act it out.