Wanting to have a ffm threesome with my boyfriend but worried I'll get jealous

[TinkyWinkyWonky]

As the title says, basically both me and my boyfriend want to spice things up a bit and want to introduce a third person into things.Neither of us want another man involved and we both find the idea a big turn on.Has anyone on here had any experience good or bad,and how do you deal with feelings of jealousy or are you just caught up in the moment and enjoy it for what it is?

I know someone who did this and it caused problems in the relationship. They are still together, minus the third person but it was a real spanner in the works for a while.

Personally I find the whole idea completely cringey and I can't imagine anything more awkward or uncomfortable. I just don't understand the desire to do it at all.

Hi OP, I did this with my husband as it was something we both wanted to experience. We discussed it a lot beforehand and agreed rules/boundaries. Id never been with a woman and always wanted to try.

We did pay a professional for it and it was totally worth it, she was so lovely and very respectful of us both. We also wanted someone with experience to make it less awkward. She also made it very clear that if either one of us wanted to stop we would immediately.
Funnily enough I was fully expecting to be a bit jealous but I genuinely wasn't at all - to be honest I think we got lucky with the woman we were with - I was more surprised that I WASNT jealous! It was a great experience for us both and neither of us regret it.

Agreed. He will be fine. There will no jealousy from him. Or the other (single) woman. The OP is the only one who is going to get hurt here, and jealous, and upset.

🚩

Instead of looking into how to involve a 3rd party into your bedroom, perhaps dig deeper why you feel the need, why he isn’t enough for you, or you for him and why you deserve better.

You and your ‘hubby’ need to find a nice long beach to walk along. Maybe some rock pools to explore. Leave the threesomes to the creeps. Maybe…

I have to say, it always strikes me as a bit odd, and somewhat interesting that when a hetero/male-female couple 'agree together' to have a threesome, it is ALWAYS with a woman. I bet my house that your husband would never have agreed to a threesome with another man, like the OP's husband wouldn't.

The predictable answer of course is going to be 'oh, but my husband isn't bisexual. I'm the one who is bisexual...' How convenient.

Honestly it's not that we aren't enough for each other.We both agree that we are having the best sex of our lives.Maybe it's just a case of keeping fantasies where they should stay instead of acting them out incase they turn into something that causes conflict between us instead of adding something extra to the relationship.I will think about it and probably do nothing.I was just interested in how I might possibly feel during and after the experience

It's me that is saying 100 percent I don't want another man involved ,as I really wouldn't want that,I just don't like the idea of it

My daughter is the unicorn in her poly relationship with her partners, I've been listening with interest to her stories about this community and swinging etc. (I am completely NOT into this stuff myself).

One thing is clear - people who engage in threesomes, poly relationships etc have to be very emotionally developed and communicate at an extraordinarily high level with each other.

If you go into it just for the sex and excitement and you're naive and ill-informed and not developed emotionally, things can and likely will explode very very badly. Lots and lots of high drama.

That's called the one-penis policy!

It's Saturday night and a wide eyed poster comes on a female site and wants us to share stories of FFM threesomes. Groundbreaking.

This is what I said, the OP and her husband need to start looking at what is missing from their relationship, and work to fix it, not bring other women into the bedroom, for some 'threesome fun!' It very rarely ends well!

In over 30 years of marriage, DH and I have never spoken about - or thought about - bringing someone else into the bedroom to shag. We have always been enough for one another.

I am sure someone will come along and say my DH probably thought about threesomes/secretly wanted them. 🥱

My honest advice is:

1. Unless you’ve had sex with a woman before don’t do it. Do not do it unless you are independently and genuinely attracted to women.
2. Try going to a swingers club and see if you can handle seeing each other get hit on first, because if you don’t like that chances are you’re not going to enjoy a threesome. Don’t throw yourself in off the deep end because that will end in tears. Test the waters and go from there.

Never heard of this! So I looked it up...

The One Penis Policy (OPP) is
a, often controversial, agreement in non-monogamous relationships where a woman is permitted to have sexual or romantic experiences with other women, but not with other men. It is most common in heterosexual, cisgender, "open" relationships where the man seeks to limit his partner's male partners, often due to insecurity, control, or jealousy

Sounds about right!

This went through my mind too actually.

Oh, what a surprise, straight bloke wants 3some but not with another man, in case his partner finds out that he’s a better lay.

Do you actually want to do this or has he talked you into it?

I've had a threesome with another man and plenty of 'interactions' with other couples where DH has got fairly up close and personal with the man. Within the swinging scene it's really not unusual for that kind of dynamic

That's what I said, but the OP is insistent it is HER who doesn't want another man, (and not her husband who doesn't want another man!)

🤔

I just can’t see it working without jealousy etc if there is an unpaid third involved. Payment brings its own complications.

In theory I want to do it,I'm attracted to women,I want to see my partner with another woman,I want to enjoy that woman for myself as my man watches lots and lots of things go through my head,tbh it's seeming like something that should be kept as more of a fantasy cos I am an over thinker and there are lots of negatives that maybe I hadn't fully thought about

Oh dude it isn't even midnight yet.
Isn't this sort of thing reserved for the middle of the night.
Off you fuck.

I’ve never had experience of this, but if the woman you’re both interested in is on a swingers site, then expectations are already managed to an extent, and I doubt your partner will form emotional feelings for her.

But you’re adding a fresh new female into the mix, so I think, if you do go ahead with this, your partner is going to be like a kid with a new toy, and you may feel left out. But you can always decide it’s just a one off after that and not do it again, if it makes you uncomfortable.

It all sounds very unpleasant. You are basically wanting to use another woman's body as a one off, to play out yours and your bfs fantasies, as though they were a prop for your enjoyment
Two posts below this is some that says she wants the be the OW with a couple.