Wanting to have a ffm threesome with my boyfriend but worried I'll get jealous

[TinkyWinkyWonky]

As the title says, basically both me and my boyfriend want to spice things up a bit and want to introduce a third person into things.Neither of us want another man involved and we both find the idea a big turn on.Has anyone on here had any experience good or bad,and how do you deal with feelings of jealousy or are you just caught up in the moment and enjoy it for what it is?

Nothing is ever like it is portrayed in the movies. One of you will be more intimate with her, than the other, someone will be on the sidelines.

Why would you want to watch the person you love the most in the world having sex with someone else?

Weird.

What he develops strong feelings for this other woman?

“Paid a professional”. 😂 Booked a sex worker

I think these things are always best left as a fantasy. If you’re already having worries then I would just not do it.

Because for some women it's fun. Just because you don't like the idea doesn't mean some women don't enjoy it. I enjoy it very much.

It was a great experience for us both and neither of us regret it.
Five stars on trip advisor.

The problem is you won’t really know how it’s going to affect your relationship under after the fact. By then it would be too late; damage done. Personally I wouldn’t risk it if I thought we’d be together long term.

Yes you’ll most likely get jealous OP. Any other questions?

Why don't you just drop the monogamy and try out other partners? I can't see why you'd want to have a 3some in a committed relationship.

3somes are better suited to casual sex outside of relationships imo.

You hadn’t thought about the many possible negatives, but you’re already on a swinging site setting something up? Weird to already be at that stage when you haven’t even thought it through properly yet.
Who decided to set the ball rolling on that - you or him?

Have you considered how you’d feel if you found yourself on the sidelines while he’s enjoying himself so much with her you may as well not be in the room at all - less of a show for you, more just him doing whatever he wants without you even entering his mind? Or imagined how he’ll react to her (she’s unfamiliar to him, he’s used to you - who’s going to be more exciting/interesting to him in this situation?)

As the way you’re talking about this woman is quite detached and objectifying, you might also want to consider that she’s a human being and he might find her personality just as attractive as her body.

Someone may have said this already, but to quote Kim Catral from sex and the city, "only do a threesome when you're the guest star"

Yep! 😆

Beat me to it

If you go for it, either a stranger or pay, set very clear boundaries and everyone be prepared to stop.

And on the general site not on the Sex pages.

Sounds like you've never tried tea. Once you try tea you won't want sex again.

This is something I've done in a casual relationship previously, but not something I'd consider in a serious one. It was fun, and pretty hot, but not a dynamic I'd want to introduce into a relationship I'm emotionally invested in.

I feel swinging is often very male led. I was involved with a guy for a while who tried to get me into it. Looking back I wish I’d never met him. Because what was supposed to be some “extra fun” was actually an addiction for him. So I had to leave him. I wish I’d run the minute I heard about swinging. Then I would not have wasted a year of my life. Later I found out he had got his ex girlfriend into it as well and she got pregnant and there was uncertainty about who was the father. If you want a complicated life with lots of heartache go for it.

I've led a sheltered life because how does this even work? Do you take turns? A buzzer sounds to let you know it's your go?

Well yes thats exactly what she is. And very good she was too :)

Why?
Surely the whole point about fantasies are that they remain exactly that, in your mind.

Reality is, you won't know until you try it. Ditto MMF. If it's a one off at a swingers club it's unlikely to trigger jealousy, unless you are very insecure (which you don't, from your posts).

But do be hygienic. Marigolds all round.

Great fun when xFWB and I did this. I really enjoyed watching him enjoy himself with the other woman and joining in where possible. And vice versa.

Wouldn't contemplate even suggesting it to my boyfriend. He's mine and mine alone. He wouldn't want to share me either.

Have you considered going to a sex club?
You could see how you feel when you get there, see if you meet anyone you both like, and if you are all into it then see how the evening progresses?

Make sure you have a safe word and agreement that at ANY point either of you are not 100% into it, it stops!

I think that might be the "safest" way to ensure clear boundaries whilst you explore the possibility? As everyone has the same expectations (e.g. why you are all there!), everyone has to be a member so are "vetted", there is security and physical safety by exploring it in a club, and its happening on neutral ground rather than inviting someone into the bed you generally share together as a couple. Keeps it very separate as an activity/experience?