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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anti valuers are dumb and pathetic

259 replies

Beautifulsiro56 · 18/03/2026 23:39

Anti-vaxxers shouldn’t even consider having children until they develop a basic sense of responsibility.

I’m beyond frustrated hearing about measles outbreaks again and again. I fully understand that some parents genuinely cannot vaccinate their children using live vaccines due to legitimate medical conditions that weaken the immune system, but outside of those rare cases, there is no excuse apart from being totally and utterly DUMB and people that are do dumb and irresponsible should not be reproducing..

OP posts:
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Ladamesansmerci · 18/03/2026 23:45

Yeah, when you see outbreaks of preventable diseases, it's hard to disagree.

I can't stand hearing 'I've done my research' and it turns out to be someone ranting on tiktok or something. Have you read numerous peer reviewed articles and critically appraised the evidence using a good database? No? Then you really haven't done your research.

Understanding of immunity and vaccination is piss poor, despite it being covered in school. There needs to be a significant public health campaign around it. Some sort of lesson around critically appraising evidence from different sources also needs to be implemented in schools.

BarbiesDreamHome · 18/03/2026 23:50

Ladamesansmerci · 18/03/2026 23:45

Yeah, when you see outbreaks of preventable diseases, it's hard to disagree.

I can't stand hearing 'I've done my research' and it turns out to be someone ranting on tiktok or something. Have you read numerous peer reviewed articles and critically appraised the evidence using a good database? No? Then you really haven't done your research.

Understanding of immunity and vaccination is piss poor, despite it being covered in school. There needs to be a significant public health campaign around it. Some sort of lesson around critically appraising evidence from different sources also needs to be implemented in schools.

Most people aren't qualified to research. Looking at Google isn't research! It's a genuine skill one undertaken and peer reviewed and yet people still say they think they know better. What they really mean is that they are willing to bet their child's life that enough other people have taken the perceived risk for them.

Short of a doctor certified exemption, they shouldn't be able to attend other places with kids, like soft play, school, international travel etc.

dizzydizzydizzy · 18/03/2026 23:54

Ladamesansmerci · 18/03/2026 23:45

Yeah, when you see outbreaks of preventable diseases, it's hard to disagree.

I can't stand hearing 'I've done my research' and it turns out to be someone ranting on tiktok or something. Have you read numerous peer reviewed articles and critically appraised the evidence using a good database? No? Then you really haven't done your research.

Understanding of immunity and vaccination is piss poor, despite it being covered in school. There needs to be a significant public health campaign around it. Some sort of lesson around critically appraising evidence from different sources also needs to be implemented in schools.

I have an ex friend who had ‘:done her research’ on vaccines and couldn’t see that even 100 hours of research is unlikely go give her the same level of understanding as people with medical degrees and years of experience in the field. This person thought that she knew stuff that doctors don’t know.

She even sent me a link to a charlatan’s website. The website owner has a medical degree and is an anti vaxxer. He reckons he has come up with some potion that is better than a vaccine ….. and conveniently be can sell it to you. The man may have a medical degree but he is a businessman. And a rich one at that.

Calendulaaria · 18/03/2026 23:56

There are children who don't cope well with vaccinations. The number may be higher than the few, rare examples you think. When you have children who cope very easily with their shots, it can be easy to fall into judgement of others.

SapphireSeptember · 18/03/2026 23:58

I wonder if it's the 'we've had enough of listening to the experts' mentality that sprung up around Brexit? Why listen to the experts when your opinion is just as good?
Even within my church people argue that even though the church leadership strongly advises that you get your kids vaccinated (and we believe these people are chosen by God to lead us,) that their belief to not get their kids vaccinated is the right one. It's bonkers.

SapphireSeptember · 19/03/2026 00:05

Calendulaaria · 18/03/2026 23:56

There are children who don't cope well with vaccinations. The number may be higher than the few, rare examples you think. When you have children who cope very easily with their shots, it can be easy to fall into judgement of others.

Edited

DS had a 'reaction' to his 12 month vaccines (had a high temperature and was miserable, clingy and slept a lot) and again with his 18 month jabs, and I had one to my Covid booster. If you mean a bad reaction/allergic reaction or vaccine damage, then no, that's not the same thing at all and I wouldn't expect them to have another dose of the one that caused the issue.

Ladamesansmerci · 19/03/2026 00:13

dizzydizzydizzy · 18/03/2026 23:54

I have an ex friend who had ‘:done her research’ on vaccines and couldn’t see that even 100 hours of research is unlikely go give her the same level of understanding as people with medical degrees and years of experience in the field. This person thought that she knew stuff that doctors don’t know.

She even sent me a link to a charlatan’s website. The website owner has a medical degree and is an anti vaxxer. He reckons he has come up with some potion that is better than a vaccine ….. and conveniently be can sell it to you. The man may have a medical degree but he is a businessman. And a rich one at that.

It's absolutely ridiculous. It takes rigorous testing to get a drug/vaccine to the point where it becomes publicly available. Experts in their fields spend years making sure these things are safe. The results need to be replicable and valid. Lots of the people involved will have PhDs, or years of experience. But no, Bob obviously knows better because he spent a day looking at non mainstream resources because scientists and Big Pharma are evil and their data can't be trusted.

There will always be some people who come to harm due to vaccination, in the same way that anybody could have a poor reaction to literally drug in the BNF. It doesn't mean vaccines aren't safe for the vast majority of people.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/03/2026 00:26

YABU

Clearly, you've never lost a child due to the worst vaccination side effect, i.e. death.

Your post is repulsive and highly ignorant.

youbizarrehorse · 19/03/2026 00:56

ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/03/2026 00:26

YABU

Clearly, you've never lost a child due to the worst vaccination side effect, i.e. death.

Your post is repulsive and highly ignorant.

Has this happened to you? Or someone you know? It’s extremely rare.

twentyeightfishinthepond · 19/03/2026 01:13

Ladamesansmerci · 18/03/2026 23:45

Yeah, when you see outbreaks of preventable diseases, it's hard to disagree.

I can't stand hearing 'I've done my research' and it turns out to be someone ranting on tiktok or something. Have you read numerous peer reviewed articles and critically appraised the evidence using a good database? No? Then you really haven't done your research.

Understanding of immunity and vaccination is piss poor, despite it being covered in school. There needs to be a significant public health campaign around it. Some sort of lesson around critically appraising evidence from different sources also needs to be implemented in schools.

My god. Half of Mumsnet would need it.

Batties · 19/03/2026 01:40

I think we need to stop the name-calling when it comes to people who are worried about vaccines. Labelling them as “dumb” or “stupid” just pushes them further away. Alienating people like that rarely ends well. However misguided we might think they are, most aren’t acting out of malice, they’re frightened for their children. If we actually listen and engage properly, we’ve got a much better chance of creating the kind of environment where people feel able to learn and reconsider.

ThatPearlkitty · 19/03/2026 01:49

Beautifulsiro56 · 18/03/2026 23:39

Anti-vaxxers shouldn’t even consider having children until they develop a basic sense of responsibility.

I’m beyond frustrated hearing about measles outbreaks again and again. I fully understand that some parents genuinely cannot vaccinate their children using live vaccines due to legitimate medical conditions that weaken the immune system, but outside of those rare cases, there is no excuse apart from being totally and utterly DUMB and people that are do dumb and irresponsible should not be reproducing..

actually im not sure

Isittimeformynapyet · 19/03/2026 02:16

I can't stand hearing 'I've done my research' and it turns out to be someone ranting on tiktok or something. Have you read numerous peer reviewed articles and critically appraised the evidence using a good database? No? Then you really haven't done your research.

@Ladamesansmerci Ten times agree. My friend engages in a whole load of freaky "health" fads and very defensively announces "I've done the research!"

I want to see a fucking lab coat and goggles.

she's totally immersed in the echo chambers.

Three mugs of butter, beef dripping and egg yolks a day anyone? For weight loss?

FuglyBitch · 19/03/2026 02:22

have you looked into the research and evidence of the thousands of people affected by the covid vaccine, main stream media won’t report on this

Isittimeformynapyet · 19/03/2026 02:24

FuglyBitch · 19/03/2026 02:22

have you looked into the research and evidence of the thousands of people affected by the covid vaccine, main stream media won’t report on this

As soon as anyone uses the term "main stream media" my eyes start rolling.

cityanalyst678 · 19/03/2026 02:33

Calendulaaria · 18/03/2026 23:56

There are children who don't cope well with vaccinations. The number may be higher than the few, rare examples you think. When you have children who cope very easily with their shots, it can be easy to fall into judgement of others.

Edited

Each vaccination is different. There is no way you would have problems with every vaccination. So are the same children immune to the side effects of meningitis, HPV, Polio, Tetanus etc. Don’t be so ridiculous.

cityanalyst678 · 19/03/2026 02:39

ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/03/2026 00:26

YABU

Clearly, you've never lost a child due to the worst vaccination side effect, i.e. death.

Your post is repulsive and highly ignorant.

Which vaccine did they die from? In 18 years of organising the vaccination programmes at a large comprehensive, the only side effects we have had from any vaccines are slight temperature, feeling achy and having a sore arm. After 24 hours they are fine again. We have only had a couple of fainters in all that time, but that’s because of the needles. Are you saying it’s safer to not get vaccinated?

cityanalyst678 · 19/03/2026 02:43

FuglyBitch · 19/03/2026 02:22

have you looked into the research and evidence of the thousands of people affected by the covid vaccine, main stream media won’t report on this

Covid itself caused far more deaths than the vaccines. And Covid has left many with life changing medical conditions.

FrazzledHippy · 19/03/2026 02:49

I know it's probably an unpopular opinion but I honestly think if your child contracts something like measles, then dies from it after you've turned the vaccine down (on the basis of being an anti vaxxer) then you should be tried for gross negligence manslaughter 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Calendulaaria · 19/03/2026 11:18

cityanalyst678 · 19/03/2026 02:33

Each vaccination is different. There is no way you would have problems with every vaccination. So are the same children immune to the side effects of meningitis, HPV, Polio, Tetanus etc. Don’t be so ridiculous.

Why would they be immune to side effects of disease? Sorry I just don't get your point.

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 19/03/2026 11:28

BarbiesDreamHome · 18/03/2026 23:50

Most people aren't qualified to research. Looking at Google isn't research! It's a genuine skill one undertaken and peer reviewed and yet people still say they think they know better. What they really mean is that they are willing to bet their child's life that enough other people have taken the perceived risk for them.

Short of a doctor certified exemption, they shouldn't be able to attend other places with kids, like soft play, school, international travel etc.

I think the problem is "research" has 2 meanings and people conflate the two

Google is fine to research the best prices for your next holiday, or where to get a decent take away. A lot of people don't seem to realise that actual scientific research is a very different thing!

The same with "theory" people will say "I've got a theory" meaning "I’ve had a thought about something" and then think a scientific theory is the same thing - just something someone has come up with off the top of their heads!

HelenaWaiting · 19/03/2026 11:39

ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/03/2026 00:26

YABU

Clearly, you've never lost a child due to the worst vaccination side effect, i.e. death.

Your post is repulsive and highly ignorant.

But not as repulsive and ignorant as yours. There have been no deaths confirmed to be causally associated with routine childhood vaccinations in the UK.

Prescriptions · 19/03/2026 11:45

ReadingSoManyThreads · 19/03/2026 00:26

YABU

Clearly, you've never lost a child due to the worst vaccination side effect, i.e. death.

Your post is repulsive and highly ignorant.

Exactly this. Language towards and about those who don’t vaccinate is disgusting.

Maybe think for a second perhaps there are issues that need understanding or even just some education delivered or basic kind reassurance?

Acknowledgement of the potential for side effects rather than a lot of the medical profession being dismissive or defensive when parents raise a concern ?

I fully vaccinate my dc but I’m not unkind or shouting down those who feel they have a genuine reason not to. As a society we can deal with this better than jumping on ‘anti vaxxers’ and being so angry.

biwr · 19/03/2026 12:18

the anti vaxxers I know are also vegan and homeschool their kids. They get information from unreliable sources and use alternative treatments like homeopathy and crystals. Batshit.

CRbear · 19/03/2026 12:23

This measles outbreak is related to the MenB vaccine which has only been given for the last 11 years. All the victims so far wouldn’t have been routinely vaccinated and I think it’s beyond many to pay £200 privately. I don’t disagree with you but this outbreak isn’t relevant to antivaxxers.