AIBU not wanting to use annual leave for stepdaughter’s childcare cover?

[crazycatladyof6]

Hello everyone, I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable. There’s a part of me thinks I am so wanted to know what others think. My husband and I have a granddaughter who we absolutely adore. We both work full-time and my husband actually doesn’t get much annual leave at all. It’s a bit of a problem. My stepdaughter works part-time 24 hours a week and our granddaughter goes to nursery on the days when her mum is at work and her other Nan who is very local collects her until Mum is home. She also takes her to nursery school in the morning. Unfortunately, my stepdaughter‘s mum needs to have some treatment and my stepdaughter has asked if we will have our granddaughter so she can go to work. This will mean that we will have to take annual leave to be able to have our granddaughter. One of the days I actually can’t do anyway because I’m already on annual leave for something that’s been booked for about eight months and then the other day I’m at work as is my husband and I’ve actually run out of annual leave at present. it does reset in April so I could take an annual leave day and this is where I need to ask AIBU to not want to take an annual leave day so my stepdaughter can go to work when it’s also my working day?

Would it be an option for someone to take an hour or so of AL in the morning and someone to take a couple of hours later in the day if it’s just dropping off and collecting from nursery?

On this basis you are not being unreasonable. And if you don't have leave left, there isn't much you can do.

Sorry, just seen the nursery is closed over Easter.

But legally has to have 28 days off

it may not be bank holidays

my friend is a nanny and has to work the odd bh if her bosses do as doctors in hospital

Good grief, of course you aren’t being unreasonable. This is your step-daughter’s responsibility not yours. She needs to take leave, not ask others to.

So her mum is your dh ex/first wife

You’re not being unreasonable :)
As child’s mum she can also take dependency days which although not paid, they have to grant.

YANBU, SD will need to use her AL or her statutory parental leave.

How do you think every other lone mother copes when they don't have anyone for free childcare? Your child is your responsibility.

I think you are not being unreasonable at all. Whilst I would bend over backwards to help family members out, my personal experience is that if you facilitate all the time then that that just becomes background noise and people take it all for granted and even become a bit resentful when you try to get things back on track later. This is the mother's responsibility, you don't have any more AL this year and she is able to switch things up but that doesn't suit her - I get it, parenting is hard but you have nothing to feel bad about.

She does have someone. Her stepmom who’s been in her life since she was 2 years old and apparently loves her like she was her own…

Surely SD, the child’s mother, should use her own leave!

I think it’s up to the mum to sort her annual leave for her dd it’s a bit cheeky asking you to give up your holidays for childcare when you obviously do a lot for them. She asked and you just have to be honest and say we don’t have the annual leave available right now.

You know YANBU.
nursery extra day?

Why can't just one of you or your husband have her? Why would you both have to take AL?

It has been established that he gets 25 days plus the Christmas and NY bank holidays so he is getting the statutory minimum.

So you use up precious annual leave instead of her ? Why should you do that ?
Really selfish of her to request this .
Imagine asking someone else to give up a day of holiday so you don't have to !!

Why would you need to take a whole days annual leave if it’s just to drop her off and/pick up?

Cant one of you (her/you/DH) start early and one start late that day so you can cover the 1.5/2 hrs she needs?

As a single working mum, I don’t think she’s unreasonable to hope you’d help out. I know you work full time but she has a lot more on her plate than you do now and I do think grandparents should be prepared to pick up some of the tough bits and not just the fun stuff. Especially if their parent is doing it single-handedly, you’re her village.

But I’m also surprised her work can’t be more accommodating.

I haven’t read all the comments but she should get some carers/dependents leave I should think? It’s pro rata and I believe it’s two weeks of whatever your normal working week is. E.g you work 24 hours over 3 days, so you get 6 days per year etc. It’s paid and totally separate to annual leave. There’s also emergency leave. What does your stepdaughter do?

So in your opinion parents should never ask grandparents for one off babysitting? What, ever?

Nothing the OP has said has given any indication that the stepdaughter is going to be pissy if they say no, she's just asked the question.

Yanbu. Your stepdaughter will have to take AL or unpaid parental leave. It’s not your responsibility and you definitely shouldn’t have to use precious AL.

Who is WORKING and she expects her to take AL instead of taking time off herself to care for her own child. Stepmother isn't available.

She's going to have to think of a way of how she is going to cover the school holidays going forwards, her mum might not be around forever and it sounds like she relies a LOT on her mum for childcare.

@crazycatladyof6 is working, that should have been enough of an answer for step daughter to arrange to take time off herself to look after her child. Expecting someone else to take AL to look after your child is entitlement.

No YANBU. I can't imagine any circumstances where I'd have asked anyone else to take annual leave to look after my child so that I didn't have to take annual leave to do so.

It's unreasonable to expect any other adult to do this, family or not.