AIBU not wanting to use annual leave for stepdaughter’s childcare cover?

[crazycatladyof6]

Hello everyone, I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable. There’s a part of me thinks I am so wanted to know what others think. My husband and I have a granddaughter who we absolutely adore. We both work full-time and my husband actually doesn’t get much annual leave at all. It’s a bit of a problem. My stepdaughter works part-time 24 hours a week and our granddaughter goes to nursery on the days when her mum is at work and her other Nan who is very local collects her until Mum is home. She also takes her to nursery school in the morning. Unfortunately, my stepdaughter‘s mum needs to have some treatment and my stepdaughter has asked if we will have our granddaughter so she can go to work. This will mean that we will have to take annual leave to be able to have our granddaughter. One of the days I actually can’t do anyway because I’m already on annual leave for something that’s been booked for about eight months and then the other day I’m at work as is my husband and I’ve actually run out of annual leave at present. it does reset in April so I could take an annual leave day and this is where I need to ask AIBU to not want to take an annual leave day so my stepdaughter can go to work when it’s also my working day?

I’d do it. In a heartbeat. Because parenting is so tough, particularly alone - I used to hoard my annual leave for rainy days. But I make absolutely no judgement of you if you feel your step daughter should take the leave herself to cover the days her Mum can’t do due to her treatment. But let your husband make his own decision - his desire to step in may be greater than yours.

Firstly, unless your husband is self employed, he should be receiving bank holidays as leave. If you don’t want to help with one day then that is your choice, However as a grand parent would you not want to help? It’s not a regular thing and a nice thing to do.

She actually could take annual leave or swap - as she did at Christmas

Why cant nursery be used to cover the extra hours?

If you can't do it then you can't. SD will have to take AL. Or can she ask nursery if they can accommodate an extra day/extra hours?
My parents were super helpful in looking after my girls on days they weren't working as part time. But I had to work around them rather than vice versa.

Yeah just allege you've no AL left.
Or you could just simply say 'no sorry, that doesn't suit me'. But the excuse of no holiday left is semi true. In that it's already earmarked for something else.

the father isn’t in the picture

Surely if you are in the UK working you are entitled to 28 days? Regardless of where the company is based? That's such a squizz

We do take annual leave as we take our granddaughter on holiday for long weekends or mid week breaks every year

Ah yes didn't think of it like that before I posted duh!

I forgot he also gets NYD

I thought the husband should get bank holidays too, but checked and it's not so

From
https://www.gov.uk/holiday-entitlement-rights
Statutory paid holiday entitlement is limited to 28 days. For example, staff working 6 days a week are only entitled to 28 days’ paid holiday.Bank holidaysBank or public holidays do not have to be given as paid leave.An employer can choose to include bank holidays as part of a worker’s statutory annual leave.

I think it’s Easter holidays and nursery is closed ;(

I really wish he had better leave entitlement

It makes more sense for her to take annual leave, not you. But maybe she’s trying to save them up for the school holidays? I don’t think you’ve said how old GD is.

YANBU. She’ll need to take unpaid parental leave.

Don't set a precedent.
She needs to use her own leave or swap.
Say yes once and it will happen again.

Granddaughter is 4

Surely exactly the same applies to the child's actual parents? There is always an assumption that older workers can take time off willy nilly.

Far more options for her, parental leave etc.

Only on mumsnet would it be acceptable to say to a loved one ‘no sorry that doesn’t suit me’.

I’d do it for my daughter/granddaughter. Sounds like her mum does a lot of the heavy lifting and it wouldn’t hurt to help out on this one occasion. We all want a ‘village’ but nobody is prepared to play their part.

That said, you are of course entitled to say no - just say you haven't got the AL.

She needs to take AL or unpaid parental leave. Expecting someone else to do that is very entitled.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. Leave is precious and using too much early in the leave year does not leave much for later. Agree your SD could take annual leave- or parental leave at a push. Sounds as though you already use a lot of your leave on time with your granddaughter. I can understand why SD asked - but if it doesn’t work for you, you need to be honest. Also - it could be that her Mum’s treatment takes longer than expected and then there will be more requests…..

She needs to use her own annual leave.

She's asked, she's not demanded. She's a lone parent whose mum is unwell. Cut her some slack FFS.